Journey to Awakening
by TheWickedQuill
Summary: DISCONTINUED. In the wake of the dissolution of her relationship with Logan and on the tails of Alec's rejection, Max leaves Seattle. Familial ties are renewed and friendships strengthened. A story of growth, development and discovery for all. MA
1. Gamble Only to Lose

Title: Journey to Awakening  
Author: jracklesfan77  
Rating: R  
Show: DA  
Genre: Drama/Action/Romance  
Pairing: M/A (Biggs-friendship)  
Type: WIP

Summary: Max gets a clue, Alec has enough and Max's journey for inner peace leads her to love and loss. The life of a transgenic is wrought with indecision, trials, pain and sadness. Will our favorite X5s and friends be able to overcome their obstacles and find peace?

AU where Biggs is still alive, Max hates Logan and Max's inner bitch goes AWOL.

A/N: HUGE thanks to CarrielC, Izabelevans and Natacup82 for helping to bring me, and this fic, to a whole new level of consciousness! I couldn't have done it without you!

* * *

**Part One - ** **Gamble Only to Lose **

MAX

Sitting atop the space needle looking out over the vast expanse of the city, my thoughts came to a sudden, shocking conclusion. My breath caught in my throat as it hit me.

_I love him_.

How could I have been so blind for so long? I had taken out all the anger and frustration of my not-like-that 'relationship' with Logan on the one person I really cared about. The only person I truly cared about.

_Alec. _

Just thinking his name sent shivers down my spine. The mental picture I formed in my mind made me ache inside; his perfectly sculpted face, his fine cheekbones, full lips…and eyes to drown in forever. Expressive eyes that have shown me repeatedly how he feels about me, which I have successfully ignored and denied for too long.

Staring blankly into the night I remembered every harsh word I had ever said to him - _damn my genetically enhanced memory_ - every insult slung at the beautiful man I have come to depend on, to trust and to love.

_How can I approach him, tell him how I feel? What can I do to make him realise I love him? Why would he ever believe me, after the way I've treated him? Hell, I have no idea but I know I have to try. _

* * *

I wandered into Crash in search of the gang. I saw Sketchy and Original Cindy across the room, pitchers of brew and an empty bottle of scotch on the table. That answered the question of whether or not Alec was here tonight. I saw Sketchy, one arm flung across Cindy's chair, the other under his head where it lay on the table. Even from here, I ccould hear him mumbling about losing all his money. I couldn't help but smile thinking that Alec must have whooped his ass at pool again. Cindy was talking to a pretty redhead who must be the flavor of the day. 

I searched the room for Alec, settling my gaze on the pool table in the corner where he and Biggs were involved in a game. I sauntered over to them and leaned against the wall, watching Alec as he bent over the table, muscles flexing under his tight black t-shirt. My eyes roamed over his beautiful body and I took in the sight of his oh-so-perfect physique, my lips darting out to lick my lips at the thought of what lay beneath the exterior casing.

I groaned audibly and Alec turned to look at me, catching me ogling him. I blushed hotly and he laughed.

"Evening Maxie. See something you like?" he leaned towards me, that familiar, sexy smirk in place, his eyes twinkling mischievously. I reached out to smack him hard on his shoulder, but pulled back, remembering why I had come looking for him in the first place. He looked at me quizzically, as if I'd sprouted horns. "Max? Are you feeling ok? Shouldn't I be rubbing my arm about now?" he asked, teasing.

"Alec," I started, my tone serious and pleading, "Can we talk?"

"Sure," he replied with a slight smile. "Shoot."

"In private?" I managed to get out, now so nervous I could barely think straight. _Not now, Max! You can't back down now!_ A little voice in my head was urging me on, fighting for control over the second, more experienced voice trying to convince me to run as fast and as far as I could.

"Let's go to my place," he suggested, taking my arm and leading me through the swarming crowd of people.

Once outside, we climbed on my Ninja. I took to the streets fast and hard, my mind in turmoil.

"MAX!" he screamed, rousing me from my thoughts. "Do you have a death wish!"

I was so deeply lost in thought, wondering what I was going to say to him, that I almost collided with an oncoming truck. I quickly swerved to avoid it and heard Alec's sharp intake of breath.

Shaking my head to clear it, I turned slightly toward him, an apology on my lips. "I'm sorry." I said softly.

Again, Alec looked at me as if I had mutated. "Riiiiiiiiight. You must be the nice twin, huh? What have you done with Max?" he asked, that sexy grin coming to play on his face again.

I managed a small laugh, swatting him lightly on the thigh. I pulled to a stop in front of his building. We headed silently upstairs and into his apartment. Alec closed the door and looked at me.

I stood there just staring past him, trying to organize my feelings into words.

"Well? You wanted to talk?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice, so intent on my thoughts that I had completely forgotten where I was.

_Ok, Max. You can do this. Just say it. Don't beat around the bush,_ the little voice urged me. And I complied.

"Alec," I looked up at him, seeing his concern. "I just need to get something off my chest." I took a deep breath and continued.

"I..I think I'm in love with you."

* * *

Alec looked at me; confusion and disbelief in his beautiful hazel eyes. He scoffed at me. "Is this a really bent attempt at making with the funny?" 

"Alec, I know I've been a bitch to you, treated you like crap from day one, insulted, hurt, demeaned and degraded you, never giving you the benefit of the doubt…I'm so sorry…" my voice faded to a whisper. I shook my head to clear it as he stared at me, eyes darkened with emotions I couldn't quite put my finger on. _Keep going, Max. Don't you DARE stop now,_ I heard the nagging voice in my head again.

"I've lashed out at you too often and too hard. For things that were NOT your fault, things you had nothing to do with. I blamed you for everything that went wrong in my life. I attacked you more than anyone, because you made me _feel_. You made me feel so guilty about not being true to myself, about my wanting to be Ordinary and my inability to be so even after years of trying. At the fact that I had turned my back on what and who I am.

"You always seem so comfortable in your own skin. You don't apologize for being what you are, who you are. All I have ever done was try to pretend_ that _part of me doesn't exist. You've awakened feelings that I wanted to suppress. I began to despise being normal. I wanted to be like you. Strong, caring, dependable, a fine soldier, and a good person.

"And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you." I concluded, my voice quiet, trembling and yet hopeful.

Alec let roar a deep, sardonic laugh. "I'll believe that when pigs fly, Maxie!"

Catching hold of my arm in a vise-like grip, he pulled me to him, my body flush against his. Grabbing my hair, he yanked my head up, our lips meeting in a brutal kiss. His tongue demanded entrance to my mouth and I yielded to the bruising force. I began to drown in the sensations that were coursing through my body when suddenly I stumbled back. If not for my feline DNA I would have fallen gracelessly to the floor.

Alec's abrupt departure left my body suddenly cold. I gasped in surprise, my eyes darting to his, questioning.

"You can't seriously think I'd fall for that, Max. I've had enough of your games. I'm tired of you using me when you feel like it and discarding me when you don't. Go back to Logan, go home, go anywhere but here. Just get out."

I opened my mouth to reply, "Alec…" but the next thing I knew, he had slammed the door in my face.

* * *

It had been 3 weeks and still Alec wouldn't speak to me. He avoided me at work. Every time I hung out at Crash with the gang, he kept well away from me. It got to the point where I didn't feel comfortable with my own friends anymore. I had a heart-to-heart with Cindy about it. We exchanged words. Finally, I explained my decision. She wasn't happy to hear my plan but I felt it was for the best. 

I was leaving Seattle. Setting out on a road trip to find my siblings. Off to put my head on straight and find some inner peace. Id had enough of Logan and his selfish crusade, enough of endangering myself for his stupid missions. I wanted the ache in my heart to go away but that wouldn't happen until I stopped seeing Alec all the time. Time and distance would be my allies. _ They have to be._

Looking back over my shoulder at the building that has been my home for the past few years, I was reminded of the good times shared there. I glanced at my friends waving goodbye and I softly voiced a request to Cindy.

"Please don't tell anyone where I've gone."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Consider it done, boo. Original Cindy's got your back".

I gave her one last quick hug before getting on my bike.

I sped off into the cool, dark night with a heavy heart.


	2. Discoveries

**Part Two - Discoveries**

ALEC

I woke up this morning feeling strange. All my senses were on full alert. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. I looked around the room, trying to detect any danger that might be lurking there. I couldn't pick up on anything. I ventured out into my living room. Again, nothing.

I shrugged off the feeling though there was still a peculiar awareness, akin to fear, in the pit of my stomach. I headed for the shower, hoping that the strong, hot spray would help dispel the uneasiness I felt.

10 minutes later and no less uneasy, I dressed, grabbed my backpack, and headed out to work.

Upon reaching Jam Pony, I strolled inside, catching a glimpse of Cindy and Sketchy huddled near the lockers. They seemed to be having a hushed yet heated conversation. I strode over to them.

"Morning Sketch, Cin!" I greeted them, smiling. Sketchy turned to me, his face suffused with hurt and anger. I stepped back, confused by my friend's reaction. "Jeez Sketch, I know you're not a morning person, but come on man it's just a greeting!" I said, flashing my trademark smirk. "Besides, isn't that Max's reaction? Can't go stealing her spotlight, Sketch. She's likely to beat your ass!"

Sketchy just looked at me, long and hard. Turning on his foot he walked away without saying a word.

"Cindy? What the HELL is going on?" I asked, getting angry.

She looked at me, head tilted to one side, as if debating whether or not to answer. "Baby boo," she said quietly, her voice harsh to my ears. "You done wrong. Big-time wrong."

"What are you talking…" I began as Normal's voice washed over us.

"Where the hell is Missy-Miss this morning? You tell her she can look for a new job. She's been late one too many times!" he grunted, looking at Cindy. "Now, bip bip bip, people! These packages won't deliver themselves you know!" With that he turned away.

"Cindy, where IS Max? Doesn't she know Normal's all over her ass?"

She turned to me and said quietly "She's exactly where you told her to be. She's gone." Cindy gave me one last pointed look and walked off.

I stood rooted to the ground in shock. The strange feeling in the pit of my stomach was growing stronger by the second. _Oh my god_, I thought as my feelings spun wildly out of control. _ Max gone? But why? Where would she go? What did OC mean Max is where I told her to be? Gone? _

Then memories of the past few weeks flashed in my mind's eye. Max coming up to me in Crash saying she wanted to talk. Max open and vulnerable as she told me she loves me. Me throwing her out of my apartment, not willing to believe it possible that she shared my feelings. Me ignoring her. The sadness in Max's eyes as the days passed. And now she was gone. _Oh god, what have I done?_

I looked around quickly hoping to find Biggs. _ He must be off on a run._ I reached for my cell phone and hit speed dial. The voice on the other end of the line bellowed out.

"Hey, man!"

"Biggs? Alec. I need to talk. Meet me at my place in 20?" I hung up before he has a chance to answer, calling out to Normal as I left. "Normal, I'm taking the day off." And with that, I hurried out of Jam Pony and went home.

* * *

Biggs arrived just moments after I let myself into my apartment. He took a step into the room and sat down on my ragged couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. He looked at me, concern evident in his eyes.

"So, shoot."

"God, Biggs. I fucked up. I screwed up bad." I said, lowering my head into my hands.

"Whadya do?"

"It's about Max." I said finally.

"Damn it, Alec. It's ALWAYS about Max. What did she accuse you of this time?" he retorted angrily.

"That's just it man. She didn't accuse me of anything."

His face scrunched in confusion. "Okaaaay. Now I'm _ really_ confused."

"Biggs, did you ever get the feeling that Max thought of me in any way other than as a friend?" My voice sounded a bit strained even to my own ears.

"Hell yeah, Alec! She's totally hot for you. She'll deny it till the day she dies, but come on! Totally obvious!"

"Obvious? She kicks me to the ground on a daily basis, insults me, calls me every name under the sun and its _obvious_? Which of us needs to get our head checked here?" I replied, more confused now than I was before.

"God, the two of you are impossible! You follow her around totally whipped, she pretends she can't stand you but makes every effort to touch you without making it noticeable. There's electricity between you two that could power the city of Seattle! Everyone can tell! You guys are an explosion waiting to happen, Alec. You've gotta be blind not to see it!"

"_Shit, shit, shit!_ I totally fucked up!" I whispered as I banged my head against the wall.

Biggs stared at me, alarmed at my actions. "Get a grip, man! What are you talking about?" he asked, coming to stand by my side.

"She came to me…I…oh, god, what have I done..." I slid heavily down the wall to the ground, cradling my head in my one hand, the other repeatedly denting the floor.

Biggs reached out to grab my hand and barked, "_WHAT?_"

I glanced up at him before averting my eyes. "She told me she loved me and I sent her away." I lowered my head again and retreated into silence.

Awareness slowly dawning on him, Biggs maked himself scarce, knowing I needed my space and some time alone. I had nothing to say anyway. I wouldn't know how to say it even if I had the words. The only thought in my mind was that I turned away the one woman I loved because of my mistrust. _ And I may have lost her for good. _

* * *

Biggs walked down the street deep in thought. Those two need help. A slow grin stole across his face. _Yeah, that's it. And I know exactly what to do_.

Arriving at her door, Biggs knocked softly. The door slowly opened to reveal a disheveled Cindy and an angry Sketchy. Looking back and forth between the two, the handsome X5 asked "Can I come in? We need to talk."

Stepping back from the door, Cindy motioned him inside.

"Whatcha wanna talk 'bout, boo?" she said tiredly. "Can I getcha anythin'?"

Biggs waved her off as he took a seat on the couch next to Sketchy.

"Guys," he started "We have a problem."

"You're telling me?" Sketchy interjected angrily. "Max is gone, man. Gone! He made her feel like shit and she's gone. She left! She was one of my closest friends and now she's gone. GONE! God, I hate Alec right now!" he fumed, pounding his fists into the couch cushion on his lap.

_Left? Oh god, she actually left the city! So that's what Alec meant!_

"Sketch, Alec's hurting real bad right now. Max surprised him. Alec thought she was playing him and god knows we can't hold it against him if he didn't believe her!" Biggs let out a deep breath before continuing. "Max hasn't always been exactly friendly towards him! If the girl I was hung up on beat me up day in and day out and then, out of the blue declared her love for me, I'd be running for the hills too!" he paused, waiting for his words to sink in.

Cindy nodded in agreement. "My boo always had a thing for Alec, Biggs. She just don't know how to break it down. That and Roller-Boy being all up in her face all the time didn't make it no easier on her!" She looked at Biggs sadly. "Max finally got the courage to tell Hot Boy what she felt and he went and told her to get gone. That's gotta hurt. So she did just what she always does when she's scared. She ran."

Sketchy was deep in thought. It made sense. Both of them were scared. Hell, in all the time he'd known Max she'd never had a serious relationship, other than with Logan. _And we all know what a 'relationship' THAT was. Non-existent._ Even by Max's own admission, they 'weren't like that'.

He looked pointedly at Biggs and then Cindy. "So, we gonna do something about this or what?" he suggested, winking conspiratorially. "We've gotta get our girl back and get those two together!"

The three of them laughed as they put their heads together and began to scheme.

* * *

Meanwhile on the road – MAX

I hurtled down the highway at breakneck speed, trying to make good time as I traveled from city to city. All the leads I had on my siblings turned up nothing and the growing sense of failure ate at me like acid.

I had been traveling for weeks. From Seattle to Tacoma, then through Olympia and finally over the border into Oregon; I drove without stopping. I'd finally stayed overnight in a motel when I reached Portland, the last known address of my brother Ash. I was disappointed but not defeated as I found no trace of him in the city. I continued on my journey.

I passed through Salem, Eugene and Sexton before reaching the state line of California. Traveling by night, I raced down the highway, just me and my thoughts, the roads clear and the air crisp. I replayed memories, pleasant memories, of my childhood. I laughed as I recalled the antics of my siblings, the good times we shared, the comfortable feeling of togetherness and love.

It was the night that I vowed to see them again, to experience the love of my family once more that I was made to see how impossible that dream might be. For on that night, the night I arrived in Sacramento, I found Krit and Syl.

Never in a million years would I have imagined our reunion to be like this.

* * *

As I approached the city, I slowed down. The sign on my right said "Welcome to Sacramento". I pulled out my map, consulting it for the quickest route into the city center. Krit and Syl were living in Sacramento and I hadn't seen them in almost a year, since we blew up the DNA lab at Manticore. I knew they thought I was dead and I hoped to give them a pleasant surprise.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I missed the slick spot on the road and I slid, my bike spinning out of control. I hit a guard rail and suddenly my world went black.

* * *

I woke up in a strange room. Blinking hard, my surroundings slowly came into focus. I was in a hospital. Thankful for my foresight, I knew my barcode wasn't visible, having been lasered off just days before. I was safe for a while. Until the hospital ran tests and blood work. I groaned inwardly. _Shit. This is one mess I really don't need right now_! I couldn't help but think as a nurse walked into the room, smiling at me.

"Good morning" she said cheerily. "So you're awake! Looks like you're healing just fine. We should have your test results back shortly. How are you feeling?" she asked as she went about her business, checking my vitals and stats.

"Where am I?" I asked, still slightly dizzy. "What happened to me?"

"Mercy General. You've been out for a few hours. You crashed your motorcycle. Slid on some oil. You should sue the city!" she chuckled lightly. "I'm Mandy, by the way. Do you have a doctor I can call to relay your info?"

I thought about Sam Carr. I could call him. But that would mean giving away my location, and the last thing I wanted was for Logan, or anyone else for that matter, to know where I was. But at the same time I realized that Sam could help me get out of this mess.

"Dr. Sam Carr. His contact number is on my cell phone. Side coat pocket," I replied. "Can I talk to him first though?" I asked warily, dreading what could go wrong if I didn't explain the situation to him first.

"Thanks. Let me get that. And yeah, sure you can." Mandy took my phone and retrieved the number, dialing.

A tired voice answered. "Hello? Sam Carr here."

I motioned to Mandy that I would prefer to take the call in private. She nodded and left the room.

"Sam, its me, Max."

"Max! Is everything ok?" he asked, suddenly alert and concerned.

"I've had an accident. I'm at Mercy General in Sacramento. Sam, I need your help. They've done blood work and I don't know how long I have before someone finds me out."

The silence on the other end of the line told me he was deep in thought. "Max, don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything."

"Thanks Sam, you're a lifesaver, literally. Oh, the nurse is here. She wants to speak to you." With that, I handed Mandy the phone, finally allowing myself to relax and my body to continue healing itself.

I nodded off into a restless sleep. Images of Alec, Logan, Cindy, Sketchy and Biggs filling my dreams.

* * *

I was awoken by screams and shouts, the sound of running feet and general pandemonium. I blocked out the sounds of the many machines in my room and focused on the noise outside my door.

"…two of them…shot…transgenic filth!...I WON'T treat them, they deserve to die.." I heard a voice yelling.

"Not…treat them!…agents coming…White…" another voice interjected.

_Oh God, no! Not White! Not here! More transgenics in trouble! _The thoughts spun in my head. I had to get out. _ NOW. _

I rose into a sitting position, swinging my feet over the side of the bed. I stopped in my tracks as I heard two single shots fired. The screams that followed should have been warning enough, but I jumped off the bed and ran to the door. I had to see for myself.

Opening the door a crack, I looked out into the hallway. There was blood splattered on the walls, the floors slick with it. Puddles were forming around the upper bodies of what must be the two transgenics the doctors had been discussing. With my enhanced vision, I stared at them as my body grew cold and still. I stifled the sobs welling up in my throat as I looked out at the remains of the two transgenics lying still on the floor.

_Our reunion. _

_Krit and Syl. _

_Dead._

And I fainted.


	3. A Friend Indeed

**Part Three - A Friend Indeed**

MAX

I came to, still groggy, to see stars twinkling. That doesn't seem right I thought as I struggled to focus my blurry eyes. I blinked once, then twice and the room came into view. I was sprawled on the floor, staring up at the ceiling of my hospital room. Then the pain hit me full force.

Krit. Syl. Dead. Oh God! I wanted to go to them, to cradle them in my arms. To hold and soothe them. To touch them one last time. But I couldn't risk being seen. White was here. The hospital was no doubt swarming with his goons. I had to make my getaway and it had to be fast.

Looking around, I searched for a way out. My eyes lighted on the air duct behind the counter to my right. Picking up what looked like a cross between a scalpel and a screwdriver, I eased off the screws from the vent cover. I climbed inside, pocketing the instrument and carefully replacing the cover. I took a deep breath and turned around.

Slowly making my way through the vent, I had to decide what direction to take. I figured White's men would be covering all the exits and that down was the way to go. The faster I made it to the basement the faster I'd make it out of the hospital. I had to find a place to lay low.

I knew I was going to need help to get out of this mess. But focusing on my immediate goal was first and foremost in my mind. Escape.

After a series of turns and slopes, I made it down to the basement. At least I thought it had to be the basement. There was nowhere else to go from here. Ahead of me was my exit and I prepared to remove the cover to the vent when I heard voices.

Peering through the slats, I saw what looked like two custodians, mops in hand.

"Frank, I swear. They were holed up here in Sacramento . The boy was caught on the Museum's surveillance tape, stealing some rare pieces. How he managed to get out is beyond me. They tracked him down and followed him to a place on Corland Avenue . Musta been his digs 'cuz they trailed him a few times, always to the same place. Someone musta given him the heads-up though, 'cuz he and the girl hightailed it just seconds before that NSA guy, Agent White, stormed the place." The first voice stopped talking as Frank murmured.

"Hmm. So how'd they get caught, Ernie?" he asked.

"Man, those kids knew how to run! It was like the wind, y'know? When something passes so fast you can't see anything but wind? Well anyway, they were running and this White guy pulled his gun and shot 'em both. They got away though. Some dude found them a few blocks from the hospital, unconscious. Brought 'em in and White found out about it. Guess he'd cased the joint out, figuring they might show up. He shot 'em both dead, point blank. I sure as hell wouldn't wanna piss the guy off, that's for sure."

I held my breath, willing myself not to cry as I heard the account of what led up to Krit and Syl's deaths. Rage built inside me as I thought about White. One day I WILL kill that bastard, even if it costs me my life. But until then I had to stay alive, which was proving more and more difficult as time passed.

I wondered how long I would have to wait in the vent. Frank and Ernie didn't seem to be going anywhere and as much as I would have liked to bust through, I knew there would be ample time for them to call for help. And so I waited.

What seemed like hours later, Frank and Ernie left the room. I removed the slatted metal covering and leapt from my hiding place. It was time to find Krit and Syl's digs. I had to see if they had any information on my other siblings. If they did, and White got his hands on it, I'd never forgive myself. My siblings' safety came before my own. I'd protect my family with my life.

Corland Avenue . It was a nice street. Pretty buildings with white latticework, windows with awnings, paths lined with flowers. And trees. So many trees. This must be one of the nicer parts of town. It made me wonder what Krit and Syl had been up to that they could afford an apartment here.

I was wondering which building was theirs when I noticed a man loitering outside a smart redbrick townhouse. He kept looking up at the second story and down again, sweeping the street periodically. One of White's men, no doubt hoping someone would do just what I was contemplating.

I considered how to get into the building without drawing any undue attention when the opportunity presented itself to me.

A police officer was approaching from the opposite end of the street. I made my way toward him, in true transgenic fashion, alternately blurring and ducking. I came up behind him, put my arm round his neck, and squeezed. Unconscious, he fell to the ground. I dragged his body behind some bushes and proceeded to undress the man. I didn't have time to feel bad about my actions. Time was of the essence.

I hurriedly dressed in his uniform, pulling the cap low over my eyes. I walked towards the townhouse, past White's goon and entered the building. Phase one of my mission completed.

I climbed the stairs slowly, listening intently for any trace of sound. I could faintly hear a radio playing and what seemed to be a baby crying. I reached the second floor landing and put my ear against the door to my left. Yep. Definitely the wrong door. I crossed the hall and stood in front of the second door.

Again, I listened for sounds inside the apartment. Hearing nothing, I proceeded to pick the lock. The door opened and I quietly stepped inside.

The apartment was bare. Completely and utterly empty. I went through the rooms, one by one, checking cupboards, drawers and closets, finding nothing.

I allowed myself a small smile, thinking my siblings must have cleared everything out before making a run for it. The alternative was too frightening.

I snuck back out of the apartment and down the stairs. The man who'd been outside before was gone and the street was deserted. Night was falling and I had to find a safe house to hole up in for the night.

As I started walking, I heard a shout from down the street. Suddenly, a bullet whizzed past my head and I knew without a doubt I'd been spotted. Shit, this is SO not good I thought as I dodged bullets, blurring with all the speed I had. They knew I was in town. I'd never get out of here without help.

About twenty-odd blocks later, I allowed myself to slow down. I knew I couldn't afford to stay in any public lodgings, which ruled out hotels, motels and inns. I had to find a place where it would be hard to find me, so I made my way to the seedier part of town. Hiding out with prostitutes and drug addicts wasn't so appealing, but staying alive definitely was.

I found a derelict bar that seemed to be populated by Sacramento 's finest and brightest brutes, goons and whackos. God, my life sucks I thought. I looked around in search of a payphone. I had to call for backup.

With the way I left Alec, I was sure he wouldn't be inclined to help. So I chose the next best person. Biggs.

I picked up the phone, inserted four quarters and dialled. He picked up on the second ring.

"Biggs? Max. Got a sec?" I asked, my tone light, not revealing how nervous I was.

"Sure thing, Max. What's going on?"

"I've got a situation…" I started as he cut me off.

"What's wrong? You don't sound so good" he said, his voice laden with concern.

"It's White. I'm in Sacramento . He's onto me and I need help. I…I can't call Alec. He and I…never mind. I just can't call him. But I really do need help. You up for the challenge?" I finished, somewhat lamely.

"Tell me where and I'm there. Are you okay for a coupla days? 'Cuz it's gonna take me that long to get to you."

I could hear rustling in the background and muffled voices.

"Biggs, who else is with you?" I asked, hoping to God it wasn't Alec. I didn't want him to know what was going on. After the embarrassing outcome of our little 'chat', the last thing I wanted was for him to know I'd gone and gotten myself into this mess.

"OC and Sketchy. Why?"

"Oh, never mind." I said warily.

"Max, I know what happened. And for what it's worth, Alec feels really bad. I'm sure that if we told him what was…" I cut him off.

"NO! I do NOT want him to know about this!"

"Okay! No worries. Let me clear everything with Normal , I'll make up some story to Alec, though I really hate the idea of lying to my best friend, and I'll head out. Now what's the address?"

I told him the location of the bar and hung up the phone.

All I had to do was lay low until he got here.

TBC

**Part Four **

Please review! Fuel for the fire... 


	4. The 411

**Part Four - The 411**

BIGGS

I hung up the phone and turned to my two friends. The questioning looks on their faces begged for details.

"That was Max. She's in Sacramento . Apparently, White's in town and he's on to her. She needs help getting out." I explained.

OC's face drained of all color and she looked like she was going to faint. As she faltered, Sketchy grabbed her shoulder to steady her.

"Why call you, man? Alec's usually her weapon of choice in these kinda situations" Sketchy said, looking at me in confusion.

OC smacked him upside the head. "Numbskull! You know damn well dat my boo aint down wit hot boy just now! She smartin' and she aint gonna go askin' him to save her ass. Boo's got too much damn pride."

I looked at Sketchy. "I gotta go square things with Normal . Sketch, I don't want to put you in an awkward position, but would ya cover for me? With Alec I mean? Tell him I had to leave town suddenly but I'll be back in a few days."

"It's all good, man. I gotcha covered."

I went to Jampony. I figured that the easiest way to talk Normal into giving me time off would be to play on his sympathies.

Walking over to the dispatch counter I spoke to my boss. " Normal , I need to take a few days off from work. Death in the family – funeral's in California . Can you spare me?"

"Oh for the love of Mike ! You slackers are always after vacation time! I'm not buying it!" Normal sputtered.

"Normal! We're talking about my aunt here! How can you be so cruel?" I whined, groaning inwardly. How pathetic is this? I'm grovelling to Normal for God's sake! Max owes me for this one!

Normal shook his head in defeat. "Fine. But you're doing double runs when you get back! Overtime without pay, you hear? Now go! Bip!"

I thanked Normal . Leaving Jampony, I got on my bike and went in search of Max.

The scenery passed by in a blur of green, rust and gold. Seattle , in comparison, was dull and dreary. I could understand why days out on the road might appeal to Max, soothe a troubled spirit. It was invigorating.

I reflected on my telephone conversation with Max. I hope she's ok I thought. She had sounded so tired, so sad. And scared. I'd never seen Max scared of anything. Something bad had to have happened to cause this change in her.

I'd been travelling for just under two days when I reached Sacramento . I cautiously made my way to the address Max had given me. It was a seedy bar in the worst part of town. Just the kind of place to lay low while on the run. Smart move, Max.

I made my way into the bar and took a seat at the back of the room. It was early still and I didn't really expect Max to show up for a while yet. I ordered a scotch and sat back, surveying the crowd of lowlifes and sleazy characters around me. Keeping an eye on the door I nursed my drink. And waited.

A little before midnight , Max walked through the door. I could smell her fear and pain, it was rolling off her in waves. As she caught sight of me at the back of the room, she quickly made her way through the horde of people and launched herself at me.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around her and held her. She was shaking, cold. Her body wracked with sobs. My god Max, what happened to you the thought repeated in my mind over and over as I held her tighter. I kept silent as her sobbing ceased and she slowly regained control.

She looked up at me, her face streaked with tears. "Thanks for coming." She whispered.

I nodded. "Anytime Max. But, uh, we should get out of here."

I didn't want to be here any longer than was absolutely necessary. Max took me by the hand and led me out of the bar. The alley adjacent to the bar led up to a small boarding house where she'd rented a room. We went inside and sat down.

"So, you wanna tell me what happened?" I asked as I shrugged off my jacket.

"I'm a mess, Biggs. A total wreck. Everything that I thought was so right in my life has gone so very wrong." Max looked down at her hands. "I don't even know where to start."

"How 'bout at the beginning?" I replied, smiling softly.

"Ok. Um, it all started when I was on the Space Needle…"

MAX

I took a deep breath and continued. "I'd been thinking about Logan and the virus. See the thing is, I'd held on so long to the idea of Logan and me being together that I'd convinced myself it was meant to be.

"When we first met he was a complete ass. He tried to guilt-trip me into doing some Eyes Only bullshit for him. Some guy was trying to kill this witness and Logan wanted me to be her bodyguard until the trial. I pretty much told him to fuck off. The next day I saw him on TV. He'd gone with the woman to the courthouse and the bad guys shot him."

The implications of my words must have sunk in as he looked at me, awareness dawning in his eyes. "And that's how he lost the use of his legs."

I nodded. "I felt so guilty. If I'd just said yes, Logan wouldn't be a cripple. I went to visit him in the hospital and managed to save his ass. Someone wanted him dead in a big way and I moved him seconds before they blew up his hospital room. Anyway, I blamed myself for his condition and so I agreed to help Eyes Only.

"I guess I felt like I owed him. In time I decided I actually liked the guy. It took while before I figured I loved him.

"But after a lot of soul searching, I realized that I our relationship had left me emotionally drained. Being with Logan brought more pain than it was worth. I'd wasted a lot of time feeling depressed, sad and lonely. The virus was just an extra burden of guilt. I mean, I almost killed the guy, again! And I knew then that I wasn't in love with him. That I never had been."

I glanced at Biggs. He looked at me silently. Then he spoke.

"When did you realize you had feelings for Alec?"

I fiddled with my hands, considering his question carefully. I raised my eyes and looked at him.

"Back at Manticore."

"Really?" He seemed surprised at my revelation.

"Yeah. Alec came into my cell and pretty much told me to get naked, our orders were to have sex... What freaked me out was that I wanted to. Hell, he's hot. And it had been a long time since I'd wanted someone like that. It scared me. I was supposed to be with Logan for God's sake! How could I feel like that about someone else? But I wanted him. So I did what I always do when I feel threatened. I lashed out.

"I kicked him across the room and told him that was the only physical contact he and I were gonna have." I finished with a shy smile.

Biggs laughed. "Oh, boy! I can see how that could happen."

Biggs looked at me, his face hardening slightly. "Is that why you treated him like crap all this time?"

A deep blush rose from my chest to my face as guilt overwhelmed me.

"Yeah" I whispered. "God, Biggs, if I could do it over again I'd never have said those things to him! I know it was wrong but I had to keep him at a distance. It was overpowering, the attraction I felt! It wasn't supposed to be like that. I was with Logan !

"These past few months I started to see what he was really like. That he wasn't only looking out for number one. And when he told me about Rachel…I saw him. The real Alec. The guy who cares, who's vulnerable. Who'd loved and lost.

"I knew. I knew then. That I could love him if I opened my eyes and accepted him for what he'd become and not what I pretended he was.

"And look where it got me. I realized finally that I love Alec and he doesn't believe me. I got up the courage to tell him what I feel and he threw it back in my face. I know I deserve what I got, but it hurts, y'know? I let down my defences and opened my heart. You have no idea how hard that was.

"It hurts so bad…" I mumble, tears streaming down my cheeks.

Biggs reached out to wipe the tears from my face.

He's so sweet and understanding. He came here, with little regard for his own safety, to help me. It's no wonder Alec knows he can depend on him. Biggs is so selfless I can't help but think as I stare at the man in front of me.

"So you got up the courage to tell Alec how you feel. He blew you off and you left Seattle ."

I nodded. "That pretty much sums it up."

"Okay." He paused a moment before continuing. "But that doesn't explain your fear. I could smell it on you the minute you walked in the room. Something else scared you. What happened?"

"Well, when I left Seattle I decided to go looking for my siblings. I wanted, no needed, to find them. I felt so empty, y'know? So I decided it was time to find them again." My voice began to quiver and I knew I couldn't hold back the tears for long.

Biggs seemed to sense the emotional turmoil. He picked me up and carried me over to the battered couch. He sat me down on his lap and put his arms around me.

I felt comforted by his strong embrace. I rested my head on his chest and continued in a low voice.

"When I arrived in Sacramento , I was in an accident. I slid on an oil slick and hit a guardrail. I woke up in the hospital. There was a major commotion outside my room and I heard some doctors yelling at each other. Apparently, there were a couple wounded transgenics in need of medical attention and they were refusing to care for them. They said something about White coming and I got ready to bolt.

"Suddenly there were a couple of shots fired. When I looked outside to see what was going on, I saw them."

My voice caught in my throat and the tears began to fall. Deep gut-wrenching sobs wracked my tired body and I clung to Biggs. He tightened his hold on me.

"Max" he said soothingly. "It's gonna be ok. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I looked up at him, his face a blur to my tear-filled eyes. I shook my head.

"The two transgenics. They were Krit and Syl. Two of my siblings. White killed them."

"Oh God, Max. I'm so sorry." Biggs rubbed my back lightly, tenderly.

I must have fallen asleep at some point. He had held me like that all night. Never once moving, not wanting to disturb my sleep.

TBC

**Part Five **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	5. Letting Off Steam

**Part Five - Letting Off Steam**

MAX

I woke shortly before dawn to find myself wrapped in two strong arms. I twisted around to see a very uncomfortable looking Biggs, fast asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, considering the distance he had travelled the day before and the stiff position he had held whilst I slept, I gently disentangled myself from his arms.

I thought back to our conversation of the previous night. It had felt good to talk. I had needed to unload on someone and knowing that Biggs was there for me meant a lot. There weren't many people I trusted and on the occasion that I decided to share my feelings, I would normally turn to OC. Recently, however, I'd begun confiding in Alec. And now I could add Biggs to the inner circle.

I quickly showered. Feeling a damn sight better than I had yesterday, I went about preparing a breakfast of coffee, eggs and toast. Without my daily dose of caffeine I knew I would be too much for Biggs to handle. Alec could hold his own with the Uber-Bitch. Biggs would not.

Biggs stirred on the couch.

"Morning." I said, handing him a cup of coffee. He took it, flashing me a grateful smile. "Sleep well?" I winked at him and grinned.

"Not bad, considering the position." He said with a chuckle.

"Eat up. We've got a long day ahead."

I crossed the room to retrieve my map. Our first course of action would be to find a safe route out of the city and maintain a low profile. I bit my lip as I focused on the paper in front of me.

Biggs laughed and I turned to him and scowled. "What's so funny?"

"You are! Your eyebrows are all scrunched and you're biting your lip. It's cute." he reached out to touch my shoulder lightly. "Don't worry so much! Everything will be fine."

I glared at him. "Are you trying to jinx us?" I quickly packed my bag. Everytime I say it'll be fine things go horribly wrong I couldn't shake the feeling of foreboding that settled on me and I shivered.

"They probably wouldn't expect us to stowaway on a train..." He looked at me and grinned. "If we did, we could be in Portland by Wednesday evening or Thursday morning at the latest."

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Biggs. And my instincts are rarely wrong."

"Same here." came the muffled reply. Biggs had already left the room. I followed close on his heels, eager to put as much distance between White and myself as was possible.

Using a series of back alleys and side streets, we made our way to the train depot. It was still early. Lack of daylight meant little or no people were out and afforded us much needed cover. We walked our bikes to a carriage at the end of the platform. Biggs motioned to me to keep watch as he loaded the bikes into the car. Giving the all clear, I turned to him as he reached out to help me up.

I secured the door and looked around the space that would be my refuge for the next day or so. There were bales of hay and a few empty crates. At least we won't have to sleep on the cold metal floor. Biggs' idea to stowaway was definitely a greatly preferred mode of transport. I didn't relish the thought of riding my motorcycle in the chilly air or the inevitable muscle cramping that would follow.

"You know Max," Biggs mused. "It's gonna be a loooong trip. We might as well get comfortable."

I leaned back against a crate. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.

The train began to move. Biggs and I fell into a comfortable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Some time later I broke the stillness.

"Tell me about Alec." I said wistfully.

Startled, he shot me a curious look. "Alec? What do you wanna know about him?"

"What was he like back in Manticore?"

Biggs' face fell. I caught a glimpse of pain flitting across his eyes before being replaced by the practiced, empty soldier's mask every transgenic had learned to perfect. I shuddered at the blank look he sent my way.

"494 was a soldier through and through. He followed orders to a T and was the crowning success of Manticore. He was the finest, the brightest. He was respected, feared and envied. We strove to be like him. He inspired trust and loyalty.

"He was my C.O. And I was proud to call him Sir." Biggs let out a sigh.

"Wow. Alec was an officer? I never knew…" Biggs interrupted me in a tightly controlled voice.

"You don't know shit about him, Max. You never cared enough to find out.

I glared at him. He has a point though I conceded to myself.

"494 was a fun-loving prankster. Always pullin' scams and messin' around, crackin' jokes. We loved him. 494 rivalled none. Then he was sent to take out Berrisford. It was his first and only failure. When he fell in love with Rachel and botched his mission, it cost him his rank. And his sense of self worth. He stopped believing. 494 retreated into a shell and hid from everyone. He became distant and cold. It was as if he was just going through the motions, robotic. We'd lost our friend and were left with a stranger.

"You can't begin to imagine how happy we all were to see him come back to some semblance of himself. Being out here, he's come alive again. The pain is still there. And he hides behind his 'I'm always alright' defense. He's scarred. Hell, we all are. Broken toys he once called us. But he has an identity now, no longer just a number. He's Alec. And Alec survives and lives to smile another day."

I hung my head in shame as the harsh reality of Biggs' revelations washed over me. His friends and those under his command held Alec in such high esteem. I should have more respect for him. But I'd made it my personal mission to knock him for everything he did. I'd done it for so long that it had become second nature to me.

I choked out a ragged "I'm sorry."

A sad smile graced his lips. "Max, I know you've finally clued in to the truth. Alec loves you. He's always been there for you. Even when you slam him he's always got your back. You've gotta start treating him with the respect he deserves. He's more than earned it. It's not just damaging him, it's hurting all of us."

I let Biggs' words sink in. He was right. Alec had always been there for me. Starting back at Manticore after I refused to follow orders he'd had my back. I shuddered, thinking of the breeding program. He'd covered for me the next day, lying to protect me. And later, when Ames White implanted that bomb in his brainstem and he'd had to procure 3 barcodes in exchange for his life, he'd almost tried to kill me but had chosen his own death over mine.

"I know it must have been hard for you, Max, to be on your own out here all these years. But you have to recognize we suffered too. Alec's suffered. He needs your acceptance, not your abuse!

"Be his friend."

I held Biggs' gaze with mine. "I want to be so much more than that."

Countless memories flashed in my mind's eye. How many times had he brought me back from the brink, risked his life for mine? I bit my lip as tears streamed down my face. Resolute, I straightened upright making a silent vow. I'll make it up to him somehow…when we get back to Seattle

BIGGS

I saw Max brace her shoulders, sitting erect, her face determined. She's got spunk, I'll give her that I scooted over and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Max, things'll work out. Start small. Show him you care. He needs to believe. Make him believe."

She gave me a quick smile. "It took me a whole year before I told Logan how I felt. We danced around each other. It's kinda obvious why, now that I look back. And then I waited almost another year before I left him. Two years, Biggs. Feels like a lifetime.

"But I know what I feel for Alec is real. And I don't plan to waste any more time.

"I'm not good at this kinda thing, but I just wanna say I appreciate what you told me. I needed to hear it. So, thanks."

I can see why Alec finds her so attractive. It's more than her looks. She's strong, yet vulnerable. Makes you wanna reach out and hold her. Kiss away the tears. Whoa, where did that come from I'm suddenly feeling warm. My arm is tingling where it rests on Max. The thoughts come unbidden. She's beautiful. Bitchy, passionate, opinionated. I like.

I practically leapt from her side, as if burned. Max looked at me curiously. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." I'm anything BUT fine. Right now I'm feeling guilty. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is just so wrong. Get a grip soldier! She's not yours for the taking.

"Hey, I got an idea. Wanna spar?" I let out in a rush.

"Sounds like a plan." She replied as she climbed to her feet.

We circled each other like predators stalking prey. Our movements graceful, calculated, precise. I tried to assess her weakness. She seemed to leaning a bit to the left. I filed that away in my mind. Might come in handy.

Alec once warned me that sparring with Max was full of dangerous potential. She had a penchant for fighting dirty, not fair. And when fuelled by anger she fought harder. His exact words came to mind. 'When she's pissed she fights harder, better. But she loses focus quickly. That's your advantage.' He'd told me with a wicked grin.

This could be fun.

Having heard about Alec's stint in the ring as Monty Cora and Max's cruelly delivered kick, I chanced a peek at my lower region. I wondered if I had reason to fear for the crown jewels.

My indecision must have shone on my face as she caught my downward gaze. Max laughed a full throaty laugh I'd never heard from her before.

"Don't worry, soldier. I promise to fight fair."

I laughed. At that moment, Max launched herself at me with a kick to my chest. With me momentarily distracted, she'd taken the opportunity and it paid off. I bowled over. As I regained my balance, her arm shot out toward my face. I blocked and countered with a blow to her left side. Max grunted.

I raised my leg and lashed out at her other side, now exposed to my attack. Somehow, she managed to grab my foot, twisting me midair and causing me to flip. I'm off my game today.

I land in a crouch, and I punt left, sweeping her feet out from under her. Max crashes to the floor with a loud thud.

"You're gonna pay for that" she hissed as she jumped to her feet, coming back to fighting stance. She was livid and her face flushed. Alec was right, she is sexy as hell when she's pissed off!

We continued to toy with each other. Raining kicks, throwing punches, flipping, circling. It was fluid motion, fast-paced and adrenaline driven. My blood pumped hotly in my veins. I growled deep in my throat.

Suddenly, Max blurred around and came at me from behind. She was angry now. Max landed a solid kick to my kidney. I doubled over in pain. Max was going in for the 'kill' intent on putting me down hard. I'd anticipated her next move, way ahead in the game. After all, I had years training on her. But something stopped my counter-attack. I don't want to hurt her I thought, stunned.

Instead, I let her take me down. She kicked hard at my stomach, effectively throwing me across the train car and onto a bale of hay. It exploded in a shower of straw, covering me completely.

I couldn't contain myself. I burst out laughing, sputtering and coughing as straw flew from my mouth. Max let out a giggle and ran over to me. She lay down on the hay by my side.

MAX

There's nothing like a good round of sparring to give you a rush. I'd been through a lot in the past few days and the stress had finally caught up with me. Our sparring session had challenged my suffering, tired body. I needed to recharge.

Our breathing evened out slowly. Sweat-covered and plastered with straw, Biggs resembled a character from a pre-pulse film. I told him so.

"Biggs, you look absolutely ridiculous. I could peg you for the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz."

"And that coming from the mouth of the Wicked Witch herself. I'm flattered, Max." Biggs smirked at me.

I ignored him, reaching out to pull some stray bits of straw from his face and chest. I burrowed down into the hay to keep warm and pillowed my head on Biggs' chest.

I'd laughed today. I tried not to feel guilty about it. The constant danger in my life weighing heavily on my shoulders; the threat of extinction at the hands of cult loonies and foreign governments so desperate to get their hands on one of my kind, made it impossible for me to give in and cry. I'd done that already. Crying took too much energy. Laughter is my defence. One I employed as a shield for my pain.

Krit and Syl were constantly on my mind and the images of their battered bodies lying in pools of blood were imprinted in my memory. I'd lost them for good and hadn't even had a chance to say goodbye.

I whispered a silent prayer to the Blue Lady in hopes that she would watch over my brothers and sisters in the 'Good Place'.

Finally giving in to exhaustion and lulled by the deep, even breathing of the man beside me, I fell into a fitful slumber.

TBC

**Part Six **

Please review! Fuel for the fire 


	6. Ordinary Troubles

**Part Six - Ordinary Troubles**

BIGGS

The train ground to a halt, rousing me from a peaceful dream. I reached out to wake Max only to see that she was already up and consulting her trusty map.

The sound of voices reached my ears and I signalled to Max to keep quiet. We'd hidden the bikes behind some crates in case of a spot check on the carriage. We padded silently to the far end of the car and stepped into the shadows.

Just as I'd thought. The door to the car opened and flashlights swept through. "All clear!" a voice rang out. The door closed once again and footsteps faded into the night.

It was late. We'd waited until the station had gone quiet. Under cover of darkness, Max and I unloaded our bikes and made for the city limits.

It was cold and damp. The wind howled as we drove under a thunderous sky. The rain was thick, impairing our vision. An Ordinary wouldn't be able to see three feet in front of him. Luckily for us our transgenic sight gave us far better visual ability even in conditions such as these. Suddenly, the hair on my neck stood on end, my senses on high alert. Max motioned to me that she'd heard it too. The low rumble of an approaching vehicle.

I glanced over my shoulder to see a head leaning out the front window and what looked like a submachine gun being pointed in our direction. SHIT! I frantically signalled to Max 'enemy'. She nodded in understanding.

We increased speed and shot down the road, desperate to outrun them. So far so good I surmised. They seemed to be fading into the void.

We continued on for another 100 miles or so before we came to what looked like an industrial area. We pulled into the lot and stopped to get our bearings. Instinct told me we should keep moving.

"Max, I don't think its such a good idea to stop right now. Especially since we have no idea what happened to the guys tailing us. Although it would be nice to get out of the rain and get a little sleep, I just don't feel safe enough to stay here."

Max agreed. "You're right. And Biggs? Thanks again for being here. I haven't exactly been thinking so clearly these past few days. I wouldn't be able to do this alone."

"No sweat, Max. But we really should go."

I kick-started my bike and revved the engine. Max mirrored my actions and we pulled out, heading back to the highway.

Suddenly, the van from 100 miles back raced towards us and veered toward Max. She tried to avoid the vehicle but she lost control and was thrown from her bike.

The van ground to a halt. Shit! I thought, as 6 heavily armed figures emerged from the van. I could barely see Max from where I stood but I knew she was still down from the fall. I had to distract our attackers until she was able to defend herself.

"Are you lost?" I pretended to care, acting like a solicitous citizen while slowly reaching behind my back for my gun. There was no way I could hold them off for long. Come on, Max! I need you for this one I pleaded silently.

"Don't even think about it. Hands up above your head where I can see them." A large man barked at me.

This puzzled me. Familiars don't usually issue instructions. They shoot or maim. My hopes soared. Maybe, just maybe, we had the upper hand here.

Barely moving my head, I caught sight of Max crouched in position by the van. Stupid amateurs Our attackers must have thought that they knocked her out good and she was no longer a threat. I nodded at Max imperceptibly – only a transgenic would have noticed.

The man who had spoken to me moments before approached cautiously all the while keeping his firearm locked on me. At that moment Max blurred in front of two of our would-be assailants, taking them out with a series of well aimed kicks and punches. Way to go, Max! I thought as I launched myself at the guy who'd had the audacity to point his gun at me. Stupid fucking Ordinaries I couldn't help grinning.

Three down, three to go. Max and I went back to back, turning as the three remaining men circled us, knives drawn.

"Hey Max," I whispered. "Ordinaries sure are dumb. They only armed the head honcho and two thugs. The other guys get knives? How lame."

She laughed. "Let's finish this bitch." She replied, in her usual tough-ass manner. That's the spirit.

I flipped Max over my head and she in turn shot out with a roundhouse kick, swept her target's feet out from under him, and kneed him in the groin. Ouch. I almost felt sorry for the guy. I jumped, twisted and sent the other two guys sprawling in a single sweep. Grabbing up their guns, I kept them trained on the fallen men. Max stood watch over the three we'd knocked unconscious earlier, ready to take action if necessary.

"Biggs, that was fun! Wanna go another round?" she actually looked serious.

I laughed. The guys looked scared. "With these wusses? Nah." I grinned.

I heard a rustling sound. The head honcho seemed to be regaining consciousness. Max picked up the gun before he could reach it. I knew Max wouldn't use it even if meant saving her own life, but she trained it on him. What he didn't know couldn't hurt us.

"Up, all of you." I bit out in command. They rose unsteadily and huddled together. I motioned to Max that I had everything under control and signed to her. She nodded and walked toward the van. She returned a minute later with rope, cuffs and duct tape.

"So, looks like you idiots had something in mind when you brought this stuff with you?" she asked in a low tone. "You gonna let us in on the secret or do I have to beat it out of you?"

Sweating visibly, a pasty-faced man answered her. "We were supposed to restrain you and leave you here. They said they'd come pick you up."

I pushed 'Pasty' to the ground and yanked his head back by the hair, making him yelp. "Who the fuck is 'they'?" I growled. Pasty flinched.

"Some guy named White." He choked out.

"Shit, Max. We gotta get out of here NOW. Let's leave a little present for good old Ames." she threw me the rope, keeping the gun trained on them while I tied the luckless lot together and taped their mouths shut.

"We take the van." I nodded and went to load the bikes inside.

We took to the road in fury. White knew where we were and this complication troubled me more than I cared to admit.

MAX

Biggs looked on edge and he sported a deep frown. "What's wrong?" I asked, really worried. Biggs was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy most of the time so seeing him frown like that mean something was clearly bothering him.

"White's on our tail, Max. He's going to follow us. You know that as well as I do. And that son of a bitch doesn't give up easy. I'd feel much better if we had back-up, just as a precaution. You know, strength in numbers."

I just looked at him. He had a point, damn him. However, that left only one option. An option I didn't want to resort to using.

"No. I can't."

"Max, this isn't only about you anymore, dammit! It's about me too. And I'm not gonna let your problems with Alec take priority over my life!"

I felt so stupid. He was right. I couldn't let my personal conflict take precedence over our lives. So I nodded. "You're right and I'm sorry. Make the call."

Biggs looked at me a minute and smiled. "You've changed, Max."

Surprised, I looked at him in confusion. "Changed? How so?"

"In a good way. You're more open, you admit when you're wrong, you ask for help when you need it…things you never used to do."

I scoffed. "I'm losing my edge. It's weak and pathetic. I can't even look after myself anymore."

Biggs took my hand. "Max, sometimes we need to ask for help. It doesn't mean you're weak; just the opposite. Instead of being stupid and attempting something you can't possibly do alone, you're strong enough to ask for help." Biggs paused.

"Sometimes it's the difference between life and death. Knowing your friends' have got your back. How bad can that be?" he continued. "I don't feel weak or pathetic knowing I have to ask Alec for help. I know he's got me covered. And I'd do the same for him in a heartbeat."

I considered his words. "You're right. I guess I have changed. And it's not really all that bad!" I grinned at him. "Seriously, make the call. I'll deal with my feelings on my own time, I promise."

Biggs pulled out his cell and dialled. "Hey buddy." He recounted our little adventure with the thugs and our current position. I heard a muffled reply and then Biggs hung up the phone.

"He's on his way. Jake, Steve and Tanner are coming with him. They'll meet us in Olympia . If we keep moving, and everything goes to plan, we should be there by morning. If we aren't at the rendezvous point, they'll take the highway in this direction."

I settled back in my seat and closed my eyes. "If you need me for anything…"

Biggs patted my knee. "I will, Max. Just get some sleep."

TBC

**Part Seven **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	7. All Too Familiar

**Part Seven - All Too Familiar**

MAX

I stretched my cramped and aching muscles and looked around. Biggs looked tired. "Hey, want me to drive? You look like you could use some sleep."

He smiled gratefully. "Hell, yeah! Thanks." He pulled over and hopped out of the driver's seat. I slid into place and he came around to the other side. Then he stopped.

"What is it, Biggs?" I peered at him, wondering at his hesitation. He seemed preoccupied. "Biggs?" I asked again.

"I dunno, Max. I can't shake this feeling that we're walking into a trap. I've had this strange sensation all day. Like, I dunno, butterflies in my stomach." He shrugged sheepishly.

"Well, the guys are meeting us soon enough. We should be there in an hour or so. Let's hope our luck holds." I beckoned him into the van.

Biggs climbed in and settled on his side, staring blankly out the window. I'd grown accustomed to Biggs' cheerful chatter, and seeing him so silent and brooding was disconcerting. I sighed and started the engine.

We drove in silence. The scenery didn't change much and the lack of verbal stimulation left me to my thoughts. I replayed my conversation with Alec in my head. If only I could have convinced him I was serious. I wouldn't be in this situation at all. But rather than blame him like I would have done in the past, I put the blame where it belonged. On my own stupid self.

I was berating myself mentally for my mistreatment of Alec when Biggs spoke up. "We're here, Max. Make a left on Stokes and head up about three blocks. We're supposed to meet Alec at the docks, Pier 27."

I followed his directions until we were a short distance from our intended destination. Biggs told me to stop. We pulled up in front of an old building with crumbling rust-colored paint. It looked deserted. Biggs handed me a gun and gave me a look.

"Max, I know you hate guns. But trust me; this is one time you can't afford to be caught off guard."

I nodded at him. "I don't promise to use it, but I'll carry it if it makes you happy."

"It does."

He stepped out of the van and taking my cue from him, I crept to the side of the building. We inched along to the entrance. Biggs carefully opened the door and we silently entered. A quick visual sweep of the room confirmed that it was empty.

"Max," Biggs' voice was so low only a transgenic in extremely close range would have caught it. "We wait here. Our rendezvous is three buildings down. I want to make sure we weren't followed. I don't want to compromise Alec and the others' location."

We sat in silence, weapons at the ready should the need arise. Time moved slowly and my legs were cramping. I shifted my weight from one leg to another and accidentally knocked over a crate.

"Shit!" I hissed, hoping no one detected the sound of the crate crashing to the ground as it echoed in the empty building.

Biggs looked at me, alarmed. Suddenly the reason for his reaction hit me. Voices carried from outside and the sound of footsteps running in our direction.

The door to our hiding place was thrown open and Biggs pulled me to my feet. We took off running for the back exit. We'd been followed and now we were being chased. Great going Max! You _idiot!_

We ran down the alley weaving between buildings and discarded debris. Following his lead, I watched as Biggs turned into a nearby building and closed the door securely behind us. We stopped to catch our breath. We had been running long and hard, even for transgenics, and we needed the moment to compose ourselves. But that was not to be.

BIGGS

Raising my head, I swallowed hard and shivered. Oh fuck, what have I gotten us into! Directly in front of us, not 50 meters from where we were standing, was a group of 12 Familiars. We seemed to have crashed a religious gathering of some sort.

I saw a young boy laid out on a stone slab in the center of the room. A woman, most likely the High Priestess, was dressed in a cloaked robe and was holding a dagger over the child's chest. She was reading from what looked like an old scroll, chanting loudly. Suddenly, she plunged the knife downward and the squirming child stilled. Max was unable to hold back her scream. Dammit Max!

At that, the Familiars turned toward us. I reached for the door hoping to make a quick getaway but before I was able to move, it opened.

Ames White stood in all his revolting glory. We were surrounded and outnumbered. Alec, where the hell are you? I thought as Max and I stood back to back for the second time in as many days.

"452, Fancy meeting you here." He took a step toward Max

"Cut the crap, Ames. What took you so long?" she taunted.

"I had a thing." He replied.

"Yeah, right. Who'd you off now? Cuz aint that your thing?" White glowered at Max. She continued. "I have to say I'm insulted. I thought I was important to you, Amesie!"

"All in good time, 452. You can't outrun me this time."

" Ames , I've been running for a long time. It's something I'm really good at. I think I can manage. You haven't succeeded yet; what makes you think you will now?

"Come on, 452. You're only making this harder on us both. Once I kill you, you can stop running and I won't have to waste any more of my valuable time and resources.

"Amesie, this definitely _is_ a waste of time. But bring it on, asshole. You know I'm gonna kick you ass. Again."

"Don't worry, this isn't gonna hurt. But, with any luck, it'll kill you." Ames said, taking another step forward and standing directly in front of Max. I noticed that she wasn't armed.

Dammit Max, where's the gun I gave you? She'd be toast if I didn't do something. I picked up a discarded brick and raised my arm to hit White.

I tapped him on the shoulder. "Think again, fuckwit. Let's find out how high your pain threshold really is."

He tossed me like I was weightless and I hit the wall with a sickening crack. Ouch, you son of a bitch!

"What happened to your trusty side-kick, 452? Has he tired of you? Maybe 494 has more intelligence than I originally credited to him."

Max kicked White several times. He grabbed her foot and flipped her over. She landed on her feet, arms raised and ready. They circled each other.

While Max and White played cat and mouse, I was holding my own, just barely, against three large and very angry Familiars.

Punch, kick, roll, drop, sweep. Over and over again, I lashed out at them. I was taking a severe beating and knew I couldn't hold up for long. I concentrated on getting my hits in and steering clear of as many blows as I possibly could.

Over the sound of my ribs cracking, I heard bits of conversation coming from White and Max.

"You think you transgenic scum are special? You're no better than animals."

"I shoulda cancelled your sorry ass when I had the chance, Ames . But we can fix that."

Then the sound of flesh hitting flesh assaulted my senses. Max was in control and I didn't have to worry for now.

I sent a karate chop at the neck of one of the Familiars I was fighting. He went down, cold. The second of the three launched himself with a running jump. I caught him mid-air and flipped him. He landed on his head. Don't have to worry about him anymore. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, deeply relieved that I was down to my final adversary.

He caught me off guard. I had taken a second to check on Max and left myself vulnerable. Dammit, Biggs! Get a grip on yourself! Do you wanna die! I went down hard, dislocating my left shoulder. At least I'm right handed

I regained my balance and blurred at my final opponent. He never saw it coming. One kick to his kidney and by reflex he bent forward. I whacked him hard on the back and he went down on his stomach. I stepped on his leg, crunching bone as I went, repeating the action on his other leg. He was down for the count.

I silently stepped toward White. He was so intent on Max that my approach caught him off his game. Grabbing him in a lock hold, we struggled. White somehow managed to extract a knife and stabbed me in the thigh. I hissed. Dammit that cut deep! Aleeeeeeeeeec! Where the fuck are you? In a fit of rage, I bashed White's head into a wall and then threw him across the room. White slumped to the floor, unconscious. I pulled my weapon and emptied the clip into the surrounding Familiars, taking down the majority of the group. That's much better

Wincing hard and clutching my leg, I turned in time to see two Familiars jump from behind Max one restraining her around the waist and the other wrapping his legs around her neck; they fell to the ground. The priestess advanced, knife drawn and poised to strike. It looked like Max was done for. I had to act fast.

Fighting the urge to black out from the intense pain, I blurred to White's side and retrieved his gun. Mine was out of ammo and I was desperate. The two Familiars were holding Max upright. Somehow she'd managed to rise to her feet fighting their restraints. Max head-butted one and managed to slip out of his grasp. I raised White's gun, now mine, and shot the Familiar on the left.

There were two of them left. The Priestess, who was advancing steadily towards Max and the other who I saw was raising his weapon and pointing it at Max's head. Max kicked out at the Priestess but missed. The Priestess picked Max up and slammed her hard against the floor, knocking her out. The other Familiar advanced, eager to take a shot. Before I could do anything, the Familiar shot Max. It missed her her heart, just barely. She took the slug in the upper arm.

Not to be deterred, the Familiar cocked his gun again. Blood was pouring out of my wounded thigh and I could barely see straight, but I focused on Max, down and unconscious. I took a deep breath and blurred to the other side of the room. Before he knew what was happening I had wrapped my arm around his neck, effectively breaking it with a satisfying 'snap'.

I whirled just in time to grab the Priestess by the hand, crushing the bones of her wrist. I turned her hand and stabbed her with her own knife.

It was over. They were all dead or unconscious. We had to get out. We needed medical attention and somewhere safe to lay low.

My heart was pounding and my chest was tight. Max was so still. Her body lay in a heap on the floor between the two now dead Familiars. The Priestess was at her feet, arm still outstretched, the knife just out of reach. The priestess had thrown Max as if she were a ragdoll.

I raced to her side and pulled her to me, checking for signs of life. Her pulse was steady. I let our a ragged breath I hadn't realized I was holding and leaned down to nuzzle her hair, my hands skimming lightly across her skin, assessing the damage. I brushed the hair from her face and pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

"Max. You're gonna be ok. We're gonna get you outta here. It's gonna be ok. Open your eyes. Please, Max." I begged, close to tears. Soldiers don't cry? – Fuck that

Max moaned as she slowly regained consciousness. The small smile she gave me couldn't hide the pain in her eyes. She winced as I helped her into a sitting position.

In the barest whisper, she said, "Hey, you know me. I'm made of tougher stuff."

I lowered my head to hers and brushed her lips lightly with mine. The need to feel was overwhelming. I was numb with cold fear and shock and I wanted to revel in her warmth. Max smiled at me sadly, raised her bruised fingers to my lips, and shook her head.

I looked away, ashamed at my actions. I'd just made what could have been interpreted as 'a move' on Max. Max was my friend, my best friend's girl. It's not that I'm in love with her but I do care about her. She's off limits. I'm not stupid. It didn't mean anything. I hope she knows that. Good going, idiot. Great way to ruin a new friendship.

Max touched my cheek, turning my face to her. "Biggs, it's ok. I understand. We both almost died today. It's natural to reach out and touch, feel. To make sure you're still alive. You saved my life and for that I'll always be grateful."

"I know." I whispered. "I'm sorry. It didn't mean…"

She shushed me as she put her arms around me. I leaned into her and rested my chin on her hair for a moment, breathing deeply to calm my frazzled nerves. I was a supersoldier yet here I was falling apart. I hated not being in control. I took a deep breath and composed myself. I rose to my feet, pulling Max gently up.

Max stepped away from me, almost as if she sensed my need for distance. I dismissed my emotional display as a moment of weakness and slipped back into soldier mode, all thoughts on the mission.

"We need to move out now. Grab their weapons; I'll get the scroll. It might be important. Maybe we can get someone in TC to translate it for us. I'd like to know what the Conclave's been up to and why they're so desperate to get their hands on you."

The image of the Familiar shooting Max resurfaced. I didn't think he missed her heart by accident. I had a strange feeling there was more to the puzzle of 452 and the Familiars.

I looked around for my bag. In the scuffle with the Familiars, I'd tossed it. I moved toward the large stone altar and picked up the scroll. I placed it in my bag and headed for the door.

We exited the building and squinted. The sun was high in the afternoon sky and the heat was a welcome change to the icy fear that had gripped me earlier.

"I don't do guns." I spun around as Max tossed me the weapons. "But I'm rethinking my policy." She tucked a 9mm into the waistband of her jeans. I smiled ruefully. Where Alec and I had failed, the Familiars had succeeded. Max was finally packing heat with full intent to use it.

TBC

**Part Eight **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	8. Mirror Image Madness

**Part Eight - Mirror Image Madness**

ALEC

They all stood around me in Original Cindy 's apartment still trying to absorb what I had told them. Biggs had gone after Max. Biggs. Not me. They couldn't understand what would possess Max to call Biggs over me.

"What's the deal, man?" Jake asked me in confusion. "Why aren't _you_ with her? What's Biggs doing there? I don't get it."

"It's a long story. The short version is: Max and I fought. She obviously didn't feel comfortable asking me for help. The end." I said in a huff, still miffed that my best friend had gone after Max without saying a word to me. "I just don't get why Biggs didn't say anything."

Sketchy piped up. "Oh, um, I was supposed to tell you he left town and would be back in a few days. Sorry."

I looked at Sketchy in disdain. "Like that helps now."

"Sorry, dude."

"Whatever. The thing is, Biggs called for backup. Knowing Max's state of mind when she left, and considering she didn't call me to begin with, I think it's safe to assume they're in a lot of trouble. There's no other way she'd have agreed to ask for my help.

"So we do this. I told Biggs we'd meet them in Olympia . Dockside. Pier 27. There's a canning warehouse just off the side of the pier. That's the rendezvous point. You guys ready for this? It could get messy. We _are_ talking about White here. He's a nasty son of a bitch and he won't hesitate to take us out."

Jake, Steve and Tanner nodded. Without another word, I left the apartment, my friends following close on my heels.

* * *

We drove in silence. Every so often, I looked over my shoulder. It began to annoy my companions.

"Alec! What the fuck, man? You're so jumpy I'm getting nauseous!" Steve asked me finally. The others muttered in agreement.

"I think we're being followed." That shut them all up.

We sped up a bit and the uneasiness faded. After a couple hours of driving, my stomach voiced it's disapproval. It was time to stop for food.

"Hey guys, there's an exit up ahead. I'm starving. Let's eat." Straight and to the point. When it comes to my stomach, I don't fool around.

We pulled up at a gas station some three miles off the main highway. It was secluded and pretty much empty, save for a lone truck and a small Volkswagen Beetle. We hurried inside the diner and sat down in a booth.

A waitress, whose nametag identified her as "Maggie", poured us four cups of coffee. I gave her my sexiest grin and said "Maggie, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a joint like this?"

She blushed and smiled. "Tryin' t'make ends meet. What kin I git you fine fellas t'day?"

"We'll take the house special." We said at once.

Maggie laughed. "A'right. Four house specials comin' up!"

When she had disappeared behind the counter I turned to look at my friends. Before I could open my mouth I noticed something strange. Maggie had her head down and was speaking quietly into the telephone, looking furtively in our direction every couple of seconds.

"Guys," I said quietly. "Get up, walk outside and don't look back."

Without questioning me, they rose from the booth and filed outside. Once outside, Steve turned to me and asked. "What's the drama, Alec?"

"I think 'Maggie' was verifying our location." I replied. "Whatever happened, she was acting very suspicious. And I've still got the feeling someone's after us. I don't like it."

"With good reason." A voice called over my shoulder.

I spun around staring in disbelief. "Holy Mary mother of God!" I let out, reeling from the sight in front of me.

"I'd have said, 'Blue Lady give me strength', but yours will do." came the reply.

Jake, Steve and Tanner stared in shock. "Alec, what the fuck is going on?" Tanner asked as he looked from me to the stranger and back again.

"You."

"You got it, little brother. Me. I've been looking for you." Ben raised his gun and pointed it at me.

* * *

"I don't get it. You're supposed to be dead." I said, taking a step back from my brother. My mind was on overdrive, trying to come up with a plan that would allow me and my friends to make it through this ordeal alive. Brother Ben had been a psycho serial killer before Max had killed him. She _did_ kill him. She's tortured herself enough over it. It had to have actually happened.

"The miracles of Manticore, little brother. You should know by now that they can raise the dead." Ben looked at me with an evil glint in his eye.

This is _not _happening. My psycho brother is _not_ here, he is _not_ talking to me. "What do you want?" I asked, already knowing his answer.

"Well, little bro, orders are to bring you home. Dead or alive. I'm wondering if it will be easier to drag a dead body or a restrained live one." My eyes narrowed at this. He wants to play, does he?

"Bring it on, asshole." I said maliciously. "You've caused me enough shit to last a lifetime. I think it's time I did the world a favor and took you down once and for all. But how bout we fight fair. Man to man. Drop the gun. Let's see if you can take me."

The entire time we had been talking, Ben had seemed oblivious to the others. This proved beneficial. Tanner seemed to have caught on to the fact and had come up behind Ben, poised and ready to strike. Jake was at the ready off to the side. And Steve had stepped away from us, slowly, and was in a position to attack from any angle. My friends were well trained and I knew they had my back.

Ben put away his gun. We squared off. Before his first punch came at me the thought going through my mind was Shit. I hope Max and Biggs are ok. And then the fight began in earnest.

* * *

Ben sent a punch toward my face. I pulled back at the last second and grasped his fist, twisting hard. He grunted in pain. I smiled. Ben may have been back at Manticore for the past year or so, but I still had years of training on him and knew I could take him down. But I decided to let him play for a bit. Besides, I was going to enjoy watching him suffer.

He kicked at me but I jumped. I swept my foot out in a snap-kick and caught him low, Ben staggered backward. He clambered to his feet and surged at me, punching out at my stomach. Damn, that hurt I was being lax in my counter-attacks. It was time to up the stakes.

I slammed my fist into his side, blurring in fury. Ben never had time to recover. My hands had a life of their own, propelled on by years of pain and suffering I had endured because of my brother.

"This is for the escape in '09 when I endured months in Psy-Ops because of you and your unit." I snarled as I pummelled his torso repeatedly.

"And this is for my vacation in Psy-Ops after you decided to play amateur dentist." I kicked him just under the knee, snapping it. He fell to the ground.

"And this" I bit out, as rage fully ignited within and I aimed a punch at his face, "is for torturing Max with the guilt of your death." My fist collided with his cheek and bones cracked beneath the skin.

Ben somehow climbed to his feet. He threw a calculated punch at my face. I ducked, lowering my head and missing his hand by millimetres. He's a resilient son of a bitch.

Ben must have been waiting for that. He caught me across the jaw as I raised my head. My jaw cracked under the force of the blow. Fuck! Get a grip, soldier! Focus!

Tanner had waited to see how I would manage. Seeing my pain, he stepped in. Thank you, Tanner. Thank you, thank you, thank you. He ran up behind Ben and jumped, propelling both his feet into the center of Ben's back. He flew forward and fell on his face. I pounced but Ben was fast. He rolled out of the way. Jake took the opportunity to drop a knee into Ben's stomach. The air hissed out of his lungs and he was momentarily incapacitated.

I was tired. My jaw hurt like a bitch and the small cuts and bruises that littered my flesh stung. Steve had Ben in a lockhold, Jake was sitting on his stomach, the short gasps coming from my brother were an indication of the damage he had sustained from our fight.

Tanner stood over him, his gun drawn and ready. "Alec, we gonna take him out?" I bit my lip, uncertain. Of course I wanted to take him out. Not only had I suffered for years because of Ben, but he'd been sent to bring me back to Manticore, dead or alive. If that wasn't a betrayal, what was?

"What are you waiting for, man? We should just shoot him and get it over with. He's a liability. If he gets out of here alive he might come after us again. That's not a chance I'm willing to take." Steve and Jake nodded their agreement.

"You guys don't get it. If we kill him and Max finds out about it, she'll never forgive me. On the other hand, if we let him go, he might come back and kill us. If that happens, it won't matter if she forgives me or not. God, I hate having a conscience! Damn you, Max!" I screamed in frustration.

"So what do you suggest we do, Alec? We're kinda out of options here." Jake eyed me warily.

"We take him with us." It was the only acceptable alternative.

"Fuck, no!" my friends shouted in unison.

"Don't argue with me. We'll settle this when we find Biggs and Max. We take him with us. Jake, Steve, go into the gas station and get some supplies. Rope, tape, chains and a lock if they have them. Tanner, we're going to empty the trunk. Gotta make room for our new passenger."

They returned a short while later with the items I needed. I proceeded to tie Ben up, tape his mouth shut and wrap the chains around his upper arms. Locking them securely in place I took one last look at my brother and said "Sorry, Ben. Lights out." And with that I cuffed him hard over the head with my gun and he slumped unconscious.

Less than a quarter of an hour later we were back on the road, heading toward Olympia . With any luck, we'd be there before sundown. Hang in there Biggs, Max. I thought. We haven't forgotten you.

TBC

**Part Nine **

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	9. Ben There, Done That

**Part Nine - Ben There, Done That**

BEN

It was damned stuffy and very hot. I was uncomfortable. Okay, more than uncomfortable. My broken leg hurt like a bitch and I was extremely pissed off.

It had been a long time since I'd allowed anyone to manhandle me. Manticore had their ways but it was to be expected, I suppose. Before my encounter last year with Max and our fight in the woods, I had spent years torturing innocent people. I knew it was wrong. But back then, I was confused. I'd had so many questions and no answers to ease the pain of uncertainty.

I wondered what it was that made Max, Alec and the others want to stay on the outside. I'd found it frightening and overwhelming, somewhere someone like me could get lost and never be found again. When Zack had us split up after the escape, I'd never felt so scared in my entire life. I'd been surrounded for as long as I remembered, by people who cared about me, by a CO who was always in control. I was never a leader, always a follower. And being separated from my unit was the worst thing I ever knew.

I never established relationships of any kind while on the outside. I never had any friends. A loner, I kept to the shadows, watching and listening. And the voices in my head screamed at me. The memories overtook me. And finally, the dreams, my loneliness and despair pushed me over the edge.

I'd taken to "killing" myself through others. I captured innocent men, men of God, agents of the Blue Lady, and burned my own barcode onto them. I set them free in large, sprawling rustic areas with a knife and a gun with which to defend themselves. I gave them a head start and then hunted them, caught them and killed them. I tried so hard to kill myself, over and over again. Funny though, I never actually thought of suicide.

When Max came after me, what I saw in her eyes made me want to curl up and die. My favorite little sister, the one person I always felt closest to aside from Zack, looked at me with a mixture of such sadness, disgust and hurt. I felt like I had betrayed her. The Blue Lady didn't measure as high up on the scale as Max. That awareness made me think about what I was doing. But I was so caught up in the game that I pushed the thoughts away.

She followed me into the woods. I was seconds away from killing my victim when she attacked. Damn that girl, she certainly knew how to fight! But when I had her pinned against that tree, she took me by surprise. She kicked out at my knee and snapped the bone. It was over. I couldn't get away and they were closing in on us.

I didn't want to go back to Manticore. From all my memories and the nightmares I'd had over the years, I knew they would put me in the "Bad Place" with the Nomalies. I had come to realize they wouldn't actually feed me to them like I'd thought when I was younger, but to be left alone with monsters in the basement scared the shit out of me. So I told Max to be kind; kill me rather than send me back. And she did.

Manticore found my body, for all intents and purposes dead, after Max left me. They put Humpty Dumpty back together again and when I had healed, they threw me in Psy-Ops. They spent months fucking with my mind, trying to fix the crossed wires in my brain. But I'd separated myself into different people over the years to help me deal with what life threw my way and they were never fully able to put me right in the head.

Easygoing Ben was happy. He came out to play whenever life was good, or whenever he thought good thoughts. A rare occurrence indeed. Indifferent Ben popped up when he needed to ignore certain situations, annoying people or distasteful things in general. And Crazy Ben? He developed over time, after years of being cut off. He came out when things finally got too hard for me to handle, when I realized that everything I'd trusted and known was gone and that no one was there to lead me in the right direction. I was lost and all alone, and Crazy Ben was the persona I adopted when the guilt and fear became too much to accept.

When Manticore reindoctrinated me, my delusional psyche was put to rest. Manticore had given me new hope. Structure and security that I had craved for so long. I no longer questioned things. I was a soldier, a good soldier. So when I was sent to bring 494, my little brother Alec, home, I didn't even think twice. A good soldier never questions orders. And why should I? Given that my brother was one of the finest ever produced by Manticore, bringing him back to the fold made perfect sense.

All these thoughts were going through my mind as we sped down the highway. I had a mission to fulfil and I was getting restless. I wondered how long I would be stuck in the boot of the car. I was getting angrier by the second and when my temper flared out of control bad things were bound to happen…

TBC

**Part Ten **

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	10. He Ames to Please

**Part Ten - He Ames to Please**

ALEC

I looked at my buddies, taking in their frowns and general displeasure. They were upset at my decision to take my psycho brother along for the ride. For the first time I could remember, I didn't have a plan. I had no idea what I was actually going to do with Ben. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't kill him, not after Max had beaten herself up about it for so long. She had to see him with her own eyes. What she decided to do with him afterwards would be her problem, not mine.

Who the fuck do you think you're kidding, Alec? She'll make it your fault somehow. I sighed. Glancing out the window I saw the "Welcome to Olympia " sign in all it's dishevelled glory. The sign was faded and dirty, much like the city that sprawled before us.

The sun was high and fiery in the sky. It was unbearably hot, and I wondered for a moment how Ben was faring in the boot. It must be stifling. The satisfaction I felt when I thought of Ben's discomfort wasn't enough. You're lucky Max cares about you, bro. I'd have killed you on the spot. I wished him a world of pain for all the misery he'd caused me. Your suffering now is a small price to pay for your life.

I came out of my reverie to see Jake making a turn into the port. We were hours late for our meet with Biggs and Max and I was worried.

We pulled into a small lot about a block from our rendezvous point. Better to scope the area and make sure we weren't followed. The last thing we needed was to bring more trouble to our already spooked friends.

Steve and Tanner tumbled out of the car as Jake and I followed. We left Ben behind. There was no need to bring him along to the initial meeting.

We split into teams of two and went in search of our friends. Jake was a few feet ahead of me when he stopped short and signalled for me to fall back and stay low. Less than a minute later, a small group of badly beaten people came out of the building nearest us. They were arguing quite loudly.

"Matthew's right. It shouldn't have gone down like that. We had her! If Ames hadn't been so sure of himself we would have gotten the girl. When I call Stephan tonight you can be sure I'll tell him how Ames screwed up, again." The tall blonde man with an obviously broken arm fumed as he limped toward one of the two vans parked outside.

His dark-haired companion nodded in agreement. "I agree, Nigel. We lost too many men tonight. Ames ' obsession with the girl has gone too far. We need her alive, not dead! What is he trying to do? It's like he has a hidden agenda no one knows about and his recklessness could cost us our ultimate goal. He has to be stopped."

He continued after a pause. "Who was the boy with her? He wasn't her usual sidekick. And the boy can fight! When Juhvilah closed in with the knife, he attacked like a maniac! And the way he threw Ames across the room? No one's ever done that before. Knocked him unconscious!"

Nigel looked around and pointed out. "Um, I think we left Ames in the warehouse."

The rest of the disgruntled group laughed at that. A small woman with a highly visible bruised neck spoke out. "Let the bastard find his own way back." There were murmurs of assent from the group as they piled into the vans and drove off.

I looked at Jake and in a low whisper I said "You go find Steve and Tanner. Tell them to stay out of sight and away from this building. Now that we know White's here, and what went down, Biggs and Max may be hurt. Meet me behind the Canning Factory at Pier 27, our rendezvous point. I'll be waiting."

Jake left without a word. We both knew how important it was to find the others and warn them of the danger. But moving in a large group would be too risky. Besides, having them keep watch made more sense.

I crept around the building coming up on the other side. I hadn't taken three steps before the voice I had hoped and prayed not to hear carried on the wind.

"494. You're late. Lose your invitation?" White snarled at me, an evil smile on his face.

"I wanted to make a fashionably late entrance. Why? Did ya miss me?" I sauced back.

"We can make this a private party, 494. I already took care of your fellow animals. It's your turn now." He said as he raised his gun and pointed it at me.

I ducked the bullet as it whizzed overhead and blurred around behind White, desperate to bring him down. I knew he was bullshitting me about Max and Biggs and it made me smile.

White struck out at me with a high kick. I dodged quickly, grabbing his leg and flipping him with the momentum. He twisted and annoyingly, landed on his feet. Thinking that White probably hoped I would be distracted by grief or anger, I calculated each move with deadly precision. Sure enough, he hadn't been expecting that.

With a series of kicks, punches and sweeps I managed to get White on his back a few times. But the bastard didn't know how to stay down. We danced around each other, striking blows as and where we could. I don't know how long we were at it, but my muscles were sore and I was tiring. Where the hell are you, Jake?

Right on cue, I saw Jake come up behind White. He raised his glock, cocked it and pulled the trigger. White went down in a mess of blood and brain matter. I had never seen a more beautiful sight. I sent Jake a smile of gratitude. He just nodded at me. No words were necessary. Straightforward procedure, this: see threat, eliminate threat. End of story.

BEN

Ok. So I wasn't just angry any more. I was beyond pissed. I knew that the first person I saw upon being let out of my burning prison would connect with my now free fist. I'd managed to get out of my constraints and tried opening the boot from the inside with no luck. I was fuming. Alec, you're so gonna pay for this little brother!

I banged on the metal but had only been able to dent it some. They'd left me here and gone off somewhere. My mission specifications came to me. Bring back 494 dead or alive. Dead was sounding better and better as the minutes passed.

* * *

ALEC

Jake and I blurred to the pier. The port was now empty of Familiars and White was finally dead. But we were still anxious to find Max and Biggs. Not knowing the state we would find them in, we moved quickly.

Finally, we reached our destination. Entering the factory, I took a moment to focus in the darkness. My eyes zoomed in on the far recesses of the room and I could just make out the tip of a shoe hiding behind a large counter. I called out in advance, alerting them to our presence.

"Biggs? We're coming in." There was no answer. What the fuck? I thought. Had White been serious before? Had he really killed them? I blurred to Biggs' side. What I saw scared me.

Max was lying on her back, pale as a ghost. There was a bullet wound in her upper left arm. Strips of material were tied tightly above the entry point and had stopped the flow of blood. She'd obviously sustained the injury a while before and the fact that she was out cold freaked me out. A small piece of plastic tubing stretched between her and Biggs' still form.

Biggs was next to her, his thigh exposed through the fabric of his pants. He'd had the presence of mind to slice through it with his pocket knife and had made a makeshift tourniquet of the same material he'd used for Max. I noticed that it matched his ripped t-shirt. His torso was covered in cuts and bruises.

That Biggs had drifted into a state of unconsciousness whilst transfusing Max was worrying. The two of them were in bad shape. I checked his pulse. It was weak but steady. I pulled out the tubing and quickly removed my jacket. I rolled it up and placed it under his head. I moved over to Max and checked her vitals as well. Her pulse was strong and as I caressed her cheek she stirred slightly.

Jake had gone to get Steve and Tanner as soon as we'd seen Max and Biggs. I heard the car pull up out front and the three of them entered the room and rushed to my side.

"We need to get them somewhere safe. And we need clean, sterile medical supplies. Dirty t-shirt probably isn't the best way to cover a wound." Steve had a point. In the time I'd been looking my friends over, I hadn't even paused to think about that.

"Okay. You guys take Biggs, he's heavy. I'll get Max." I bent down and lifted her gently in my arms, taking care not to make any sudden movements that would cause her any additional pain.

Steve got behind the wheel and Jake placed Biggs between the two of them, Biggs' head on Jake's shoulder. Tanner got in back and I lightly placed Max on the back seat, her legs over Tanners and her head on my lap.

We eased on to the highway and headed back towards a Motel we'd seen earlier. It was time to let Ben out, and we had to find somewhere to rest up. We were all tired but we'd made it this far. I closed my eyes and offered a silent thank you to whatever force was watching out for us all today. Just let us recuperate before throwing us any more punches, please.

TBC

**Part Eleven **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	11. The Truth in Evidence

**Part Eleven - The Truth in Evidence**

MAX

I woke to see Alec looking down at me in concern. His fingers were gently brushing through my hair. When he caught my gaze, he quickly removed his hand. Realizing that my head was cradled in his lap and remembering in a rush of emotion all that had transpired between us when I'd last seen him, I jerked upward trying to move away from him. That was a mistake. My whole body screamed in pain and I let out a sharp gasp, falling back into Alec's lap with a grunt. I closed my eyes, the only distance I was able to put between us.

Alec bent over me and the warmth of his breath on my skin made me tingle all over. He whispered, "You're safe now, Maxie. We'll be stopping soon." I could only nod. I didn't trust myself to speak. I opened my eyes again and took in my surroundings. Steve was driving, Biggs was wedged between him and Jake. Biggs!

"How is he?" I asked, alarmed that he was so quiet.

Jake turned to look at me. "He'll be fine. He passed out while transfusing you. His pulse is already stronger and he should wake up soon. Get some rest, Max. You've had a hard time."

I shook my head. I wasn't much of a sleeper and I'd already been out for a while. I struggled to get up and Alec put his hand under my back and eased me into a sitting position. Tanner moved over to make more room.

"What took you guys so long?" I asked with a touch of anger in my voice. I had no right to be angry, but I was embarrassed enough to need the extra protection against the awkwardness of the situation.

Alec bridled at my tone and answered quietly. "We ran into some…complications." When he didn't elaborate I prodded him.

"What kind of complications?" Noticing the bruises and cuts on Alec's skin I had to know. "Did you meet up with White too?"

"Well there _is_ that, but no. It was something else." He didn't seem to want to tell me what had happened. So I pestered him.

"What could have been so important that you couldn't get here fast enough to help me and Biggs?" Why can't he just tell me? It's always cryptic. I was getting more upset than I had the right to be. I mentally calmed myself and took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry. That was out of line. Please tell me what happened?"

Alec gave me a look of confusion. Yeah, Alec. I apologized. Jeez! I almost smiled. He looks so cute when he makes that face.

"Well," he said finally. "When we stop at the Motel I'll let you find out for yourself. The answer is in the trunk."

That sparked my curiosity. "When the hell are we stopping?" I asked eagerly.

The guys snorted at my impatience and ignored me. I slumped deep in my seat and sulked.

* * *

Steve turned off the highway just as Biggs came to. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave Jake a sheepish grin.

"Sorry man, about the drool." That elicited peals of laughter from all of us.

"Hey." I called out to him. Biggs turned around and flashed me a warm smile.

"Hey yourself. You okay, Maxie?" he asked, both concern and relief in his tone. Biggs and I had become quite close over the past few days and I permitted him the liberty to call me "Maxie". Something I rarely allowed anyone.

"Me? I'm fine. You look like shit." His face was covered in garish green-brown contusions and was peppered with small cuts and scrapes. The gash over his right eye was fading, proof that his advanced healing abilities had kicked in. I could only wonder what shape his leg was in.

"Aw, Maxie, you know I'm still prettier than you." He smirked, sounding very much like Alec.

"In your dreams, Scarecrow!" I fondly recalled the image of a sweaty, straw-plastered Biggs. We looked at each other, sharing a small smile. The others shot confused expressions our way but it was a private joke and it would stay that way. And I had the feeling this nickname would stick.

Biggs grunted in pain as he shifted in his seat. "My face stings like a bitch. The stab wound to my thigh is throbbing. I wouldn't mind a couple of painkillers, but I'll live." Biggs' entire body was bruised and he looked exhausted. He had to be hurting bad for him to actually complain about it. I don't think I remember Biggs ever complaining about anything.

* * *

We pulled into the parking lot of a small motel. The rooms were individual bungalows set apart by small plots of grass. It looked decent and clean. A nice change from the filth I'd become accustomed to of late.

Jake got us our rooms and Tanner supported Biggs as they walked toward our lodgings.

I turned to Alec. "You gonna pop the trunk? I'd like to take a look at the 'complication' you mentioned before."

Wordlessly, Steve pushed the release from the front seat and I leaned over to take a look in the boot. As I did, an arm snaked around my neck, twisting my body and pulling me tightly against the car. The metal edge of the trunk dug deeply into my lower back.

I struggled against the iron grip that held me. My air supply was restricted and I was panting for breath. A voice spoke up from behind me, directed at Alec.

"Well, 494" he said as he laughed maniacally. "You're supposed to be the best. How could you let this happen? And she's such a pretty little thing. Think of all the fun I'll have with her after I slit your throat."

I resented being called a 'pretty little thing' and I struggled to evade his grasp. He had me pinned tightly and I couldn't move. I looked anxiously at Alec, the beginnings of fear edging its way up my spine.

Alec's lips were drawn in a tight line. The man behind me had tried to provoke Alec and I could tell the words were having a devastating effect on him. I mentally urged him to keep his cool. Alec, don't let him get to you. I could sense his tension and saw how he strained to keep control. He put up his hand warning the others off. I knew my captor had the upper hand for the time being. We would have to wait until an opportunity presented itself.

Still keeping a firm grip on my neck, the man climbed out of the boot and stood behind me, pulling me flush against him. I gasped at the feel of him. The hard planes of his chest and the strong, sinewy muscles of his thighs pressed up against mine were terribly familiar. I tried to turn around, desperate to see my captor but that was not to be. He jutted his shoulder into the crook of my neck, all the while keeping the lockhold. Dammit! I was getting very frustrated.

I couldn't resist taunting the man behind me. "Who the fuck are you? And what do you want with Alec? Why not be a man about it, let me go, and settle this bitch between yourselves. I've had a bad day and I really don't wanna have to kick your ass."

He seemed to consider my suggestion. That's a good boy. Until he picked me up effortlessly and threw me at Jake. I hit him squarely and we both went down hard. Blood trickled from my mouth and nose, and I saw red.

I jumped to my feet and blurred at him. I kicked him in the ribs, hearing a satisfying 'crack'. In that second I had let down my guard, a fist shot out and caught me just above my right eye. A kaleidoscope of color exploded in front of me and I staggered back at the force of the blow and fell flat on my ass.

"Max!" Alec rushed over to my side. He turned and glared at…

"Ben?" I whispered in disbelief.

* * *

"Oh my god, Maxie! I didn't mean to hit you."

"Ben?" I said again, my eyes blurring with tears. Alec reached for me and held out his hand. He pulled me to my feet, stepping behind me in the process, a comforting gesture that I appreciated greatly. I leaned back against his strong frame as the sobs rose in my throat.

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god…"

I couldn't think past the one sentence I kept repeating. I watched, not really seeing, as Ben took a tentative step towards me.

I put my hands up in protest. "This is a cruel joke. Ben's dead. He's _dead_. I should know. _I KILLED HIM._" How I managed to get that out between the painful sobs, I don't know. But I couldn't believe my eyes. The man before me was either an apparition or the walking dead. But in no way could I accept that Ben was actually alive. It had to be a dream.

Alec put his arms around my waist and bent to whisper in my ear. "Maxie, it's true. It's Ben. Manticore found him, and, well..." I looked up at him and I could see the underlying fury and protectiveness in his eyes. A sense of safety enveloped me. He spoke softly. "See for yourself."

I missed the barely imperceptible shake of Alec's head as the others glared at him. I stepped out of Alec's embrace and moved toward my brother. The same sad, apologetic look that I remembered from the last time I'd seen him was there. But there was something else too, something that glinted in the depths of his haunted eyes: hope. I threw my arms around my big brother and held him tight. My heart was bursting and a heavy weight was lifted from me. Ben was alive. He was safe.

Ben pulled away and stepped back to look at me, balancing his weight heavily on his uninjured leg to keep from stumbling. It was then that the clanging sound and sight of the loosened chains and rope registered. I saw that he had been restrained and I shot Alec a look of disgust.

"Why the _hell_ was he tied up? He's injured! He needs medical attention!" I was hysterical. Mostly from the surprise of coming face to face with the man I thought I'd killed, the man I'd suffered such guilt over for so long. The situation left me feeling tense and I was still a bit wobbly from the excitement of the days before. And before I knew what was happening, my body started to shake violently.

TBC

**Part Twelve **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	12. Bruised & Confused

**Part 12 - Bruised & Confused**

ALEC

Max stopped yelling as suddenly as she'd started. Leaving the rest of us looking after her in confusion, she took off in the direction of the bungalows. I hadn't thought it possible to walk while seizing like she was. She was stumbling between tremors and I was sure it was sheer willpower that drove her; either that or fear of embarrassment. Max would never allow herself to appear weak in front of others, often in detriment to her health. This time would be no different.

Jake, Steve and I followed quickly after her. Max wasn't going to make it. The door to the room opened with the blunt force of her body splintering the wood as she lost her balance. Jake was closer than the rest of us and he caught her fall as she collapsed.

I don't ever recall having seen Max not in control before. Ok, so she lost control occasionally, but she always had a firm grasp on any given situation and seeing her so weak was an unsettling experience. The combination of emotional and physical exhaustion, stress, fear, pain, anger, hurt, feelings of betrayal, the rush of remembrance I saw in her eyes when she first looked at Ben and then the realization that he really was alive must have sent her into a full blown panic attack, leading to her current condition: a grand mal seizure.

Biggs was at her side in less time than it took to blink. He'd rushed out of the shower, his towel wrapped hastily around his waste and gun in hand, at the sound of the door breaking in. When he took in Max's shaking form, he gently kneeled beside her, gathering her in his arms. He was too damn close to her for comfort and the sight of them together made my blood boil. An almost naked Biggs was holding my girl. Mine? Not yet, anyway. And then a thought registered: I was jealous!

Hell yeah, I was jealous! It was painfully obvious that Max and Biggs had gotten really close over the past week. A week I had missed out on because I was scared. Scared that Max really did have feelings for me and then I'd have to own up to my own. Idiot! Moron ! Dumbass! A week in which _I_ could have been with Max and none of us would have been in this situation to begin with. The more I thought about it, the less I liked it. This was entirely my fault. If Biggs and Max got together as a result of this…I stuffed my fist in my mouth and pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. There would be time enough to deal with the emotional crap later.

"What do you need Biggs? Where's her Tryptophan?" Biggs motioned to his pack on the bed. So now he's carrying her stuff? There it was again, the damned voice that was torturing me inside my head. Send the green-eyed monster packing, soldier! There's no time for this shit right now!

I reached into the bag and took out the small bottle of pills I had given Max a few weeks earlier. I hoped it was enough to help her through. As far as I knew, none of the others had any with them. And this had been the last of my personal supply. Max would kick my ass if she knew.

* * *

BIGGS

I was agonizingly aware of Max's soft cheek against my bare chest. It sent a wave of heat that registered in my brain…and another part of my anatomy that I was relieved to see was completely covered and out of sight. I could feel Alec's intense gaze on me and I fought the urge to run. Max needed me and I was going to do everything I could to ease her out of this.

Alec handed me some pills and I whispered softly. "Come on, Maxie. Open your mouth. The pills will help." She complied, still shaking uncontrollably. I thought she wouldn't manage to swallow but she did. Alec and I let out sighs of relief.

Jake came into the room carrying a carton of milk and some paper cups. Pouring the liquid into a cup, he offered it to me. I shook my head and motioned for Alec to take it. I could have given it to Max myself but I left the task to Alec; more out of courtesy for my friend than because I had my hands full.

He bent down and tenderly cupped the back of Max's head, raising it so she could drink. She sipped slowly and between shudders. The expression in Alec's eyes as he held her answered any questions or doubts I may have harbored up till now. The concern and worry that creased his face, the sadness in his eyes, told the true story. He really loves her.

I smiled sadly, thinking of the day when Alec had sat on the floor of his apartment, a broken man. He'd been so sure he lost her. If only you knew how wrong you are. Max had done nothing but talk about him since I'd been with her - well, outside of our bouts of fighting with Ordinaries, Familiars and White.

My smile grew when I remembered how Cindy, Sketchy and I had come up with a plan to get the two of them together. They'd actually suggested that I try my hand at making Alec jealous by being a contender for Max's affections. My smile faded at the memory. I hoped it wouldn't come to that. Because after having gotten to know Max this week, I'd be serious competition. I could see myself falling for her, if I knew I had a chance.

But Alec was my friend and I wouldn't conceive of trying to win his girl. Besides, she obviously cared for him as deeply as he did for her. If only they would admit it. The dance of denial was beginning to piss me off. Especially after her confession about Logan . Why go through the same thing again? Women truly confused me.

Returning my focus to the girl in my arms, I realized that the shaking had almost stopped. Her seizure had been massive and she was exhausted. So it wasn't surprising that she was now sleeping peacefully.

"Alec? I think it's safe to put Max on the bed. And I'd like to put some clothes on. It's kinda cold in here." I placed Max in Alec's arms, all the while avoiding his eyes, and went back into the bathroom to get dressed. 

TBC

**Part Thirteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	13. Lost & Found

**Part 13 - Lost & Found**

MAX

When I woke up it was almost dark outside. The faint glow of the setting sun filtered through the window in a blend of pink and pale gold. It was a peaceful way to ease back into consciousness.

Everything around me suggested security and warmth. We'd gotten three rooms for the seven of us but they hadn't left me. I looked at the men surrounding me and grinned. Alec was curled at my side, one arm thrown over my waist. It felt right, comforting. Biggs was at the foot of my bed, his head hanging over one side and his leg propped up on a small coffee table on the other. Tanner had fallen asleep sitting up against the other bed. Jake was snoozing in a big armchair by Ben's bed. His hand held tight to his gun where it rested on his stomach.

I looked up when I caught a hint of movement from the corner of my eye. Steve was standing guard. I put a finger to my lips, nodding in the general direction of the others and he gave me a smiled and winked. We'd let them sleep for now.

Ben's broken leg had been set and his ribs had been taped and he was resting comfortably on the bed next to mine. Tanner and Jake had cuffed him to the bed so he wouldn't be tempted to escape. Not that he would have made it out of bed. In a room full of hyped and protective X5 males, he wouldn't stand a chance.

My upper arm was sore but Steve had done a good job patching me up. I was none the worse for wear following the beating I'd received from the Familiars. Clashes with them weren't anything new and the physical discomfort I experienced couldn't come close to the mental anguish I was feeling. The pain was rampant and incessant as it plagued my mind.

I was still in shock. My big brother Ben, whose neck I had snapped in the woods that day, was alive. I shouldn't have been so surprised. Manticore had a strange way of bringing back the dead. Zack was testimony enough to the fact.

Manticore. Alec said Manticore had found Ben. What I didn't understand was why Ben was here and why he was after Alec. Could it be personal? Ben had sounded really pissed off. Then again, I would probably wanna kill Alec too if he'd left me in the boot of a car! But that aside, I was very curious about the circumstances behind Ben's appearance. And more than that, I wanted to know why Alec had brought him along.

I moved to get up from the bed but in the process managed to wake Biggs. "Hey, Scarecrow." I whispered quietly. "Wanna go outside? I wouldn't mind the company."

Biggs flashed me a quick smile and said "Sure, Max." as he slowly rose from the bed, careful not to rouse Alec. He picked up his gun as we walked toward the door. I gave him a look and he returned one in kind. "Come on Max, I know you're packin'!"

I shrugged sheepishly. "Sorry. Old habits die hard." He chuckled at that as we walked past Steve. He closed the door softly behind us.

We walked in silence for a while, enjoying the serenity that night in the country offered. It was quiet and a light breeze blew strands of hair around my face. Biggs had his hands jammed in his pockets and he looked slightly uncomfortable. I looked at him and guilt overtook me. I felt close enough to confide in him so I did.

"Biggs?"

"Yeah?" he had a faraway look in his eyes.

"I don't want this to come out the wrong way but…" my voice trailed off as I considered how to say what I wanted.

"You didn't want it to be me holding you." I looked at him in astonishment.

"How did you know?"

"I felt it, sensed it. And for the record, I didn't want it either." WOW. That floored me.

"Um, out of curiosity…why not?" I really wanted to know.

"Look Max, Alec's my best friend. And I got the distinct impression that he wasn't the least bit happy that I was the one holding you. Especially wearing only a towel…" he finished, somewhat embarrassed.

Even though I had been seizing hard, I remembered Biggs' bare chest beneath my cheek. And I had felt so guilty. Wishing Alec hadn't seen it, wishing it had been him instead. Biggs' next words threw me.

"I think he's jealous of me."

"Why would he be jealous of you?" I laughed lightly. There was nothing for Alec to be jealous of. Admit it Max. You like the idea. If he's jealous it has to be because he has feelings for you! Hope crept into my heart as I waited for Biggs to answer.

Biggs looked me straight in the eyes. "Because he loves you. And the thought of you with anyone else is killing him, Maxie."

I was stunned. My heart skipped a beat and the feeling of hope flared for a brief moment. But denial set in and I refused to accept his words at face value. I snorted. "Right. Like dogs love fleas."

"Seriously, Max." he insisted. "Think about it."

My voice dropped to a whisper and I choked out. "Then why did he send me away?"

Biggs put a comforting hand on my shoulder and said simply "Ask him."

ALEC

When I opened my eyes I was surprised to find the space next to me empty. I searched the room for Max and noticed that not only was she not there but Biggs was gone too. This can't be happening.

The last thing I wanted to believe was that my best friend had gotten together with my girl. Ok. She's not 'my girl'. But she _should_ be! She _would _be if not for my stupidity. I got off the bed and went over to stand by Steve. I eyed him questioningly.

"They went for a walk a little over an hour ago." I closed my eyes tightly, took a deep breath and went outside to look for them.

They were sitting together, Max's head resting on Biggs' lap and they were talking quietly. It looked like Max was crying.

I came up behind them but before I could open my mouth Max spoke up. "Hey Scarecrow, scram, would ya? I needa talk to Alec."

Biggs laughed. "You couldn't be any sweeter if you tried, could ya Maxie?" She gave him a mock glare. "Okay, okay! I'm gone!" and with that he got up and left us alone.

I looked down at Max, waiting for I'm not quite sure what. She motioned to the space next to her and I sat down.

"So, what's with the nickname, Maxie? Scarecrow?" I was baffled. Of all the things she could call him, that just didn't suit Biggs at all.

"On the way here we took the train." She said, her eyes glinted impishly. "We got bored and Biggs and I decided to spar. Well, one thing led to another and I sorta kicked him across the car and he landed on a bale of hay. It exploded and…" she was laughing hard now. The picture she painted _was_ funny. I could see Biggs, covered in straw and the image was nothing short of hilarious. I looked past my anger and jealousy as the humor of the situation took hold. I joined in her laughter.

"So," I started tentatively after a while. "You two got pretty close this past week."

Max must have noticed the uncertainty in my voice as she looked at me reassuringly. "Alec, Biggs and I are friends. Good friends, I hope. I'm glad I had this time to get to know him better. It's nice to be close to your best friend's buddies."

I lifted an eyebrow, somewhat confused. "What does Biggs have to do with Cindy ?"

"Oh Alec, you nitwit!" Her next words were spoken with absolute sincerity. "I'm not talking about OC! You filled that space a long time ago."

I stared at Max in disbelief. "Come on, Maxie! What a load of bull! Me, your best friend? The guy you always call a screw up? Who can't ever do anything right?" my voice rose as I remembered every harsh word she'd ever told me, every name she'd called me. "Me? The ever-present thorn in your side? The idiot sidekick? The one you should never have set loose in the world? The one whose head you wished you'd let explode? You're incredible, Max. Fucking incredible!" My hands were clenched by my sides and I was about to explode.

Max's eyes filled with tears and she reached out for my hands. I jumped to my feet. "No, Max. Just leave it." I turned to walk away when I heard her whisper.

"What can I do to prove it to you, Alec? Tell me what I have to do."

I looked back at her, emotion clouding my head. I had no idea what to say, let alone do. I'd never been in a situation like this before and the feeling unnerved me. The words that came out of my mouth did so of their own volition. I guess my subconscious decided to speak for me.

"Trust me? Talk to me? Stop using me as your personal punching bag? Just being civil would be nice. I don't know, Max. I'm not sure there _is _anything you can do. I don't know if I even want you to try."

I turned on my heel and stalked off, leaving Max behind me, crying quietly. By this point I really didn't care.

Liar.

* * *

I had almost reached the room when suddenly Max appeared before me. Dammit! Can't you just let it go for once, Max!

Planting herself firmly in front of me, it was as if she'd read my thoughts. "No."

"What do you want from me, Max? Huh? You want me to swallow all the shit you've thrown at me? Should I bend over and take it? Is that what you want?" I was ranting now, on a roll. The floodgates had opened and I was powerless to stop the tirade pouring from my mouth.

"You've done nothing but bitch at me since day one. I'll admit, you had every right to be upset when I, being Ben's twin, surprised you, proclaiming myself your breeding partner. I can hear that. I can understand your anger when I tried to kill you. I'm not proud of it! But I didn't wanna die, Max, and for a minute there I was willing to use you as my ticket to life. But I _couldn't do it._ For some fucked up reason, I cared about you." I took a deep breath before continuing.

"And then you saved my life at the expense of your own happiness. You turned my world upside down in the space of a few weeks! But no matter what I've done since then, no matter how hard I've tried, how much I've changed, tried to make you see that I'm a good person, you won't see it. You beat me down at every opportunity! Reduced me to an insecure, bumbling idiot. _I never doubted myself before I met you!_" I was yelling, all the pent up anger finally released.

"And then you come to me telling me you're in love with me, that I'm your best friend. Well you can't call me crazy if I just don't believe you, Max."

I'd finally said everything I'd been feeling. Opened my heart and let out my deeply buried emotions. And looking at Max's tear stained face, instead of feeling better, I felt like shit. Like I'd hurt her again.

"Do you see what you do to me, Max?" My voice thick with emotion, I was barely able to control myself. "You haven't said a thing and I feel like I'm at fault. Me. You're the one causing the pain and I'm carrying the guilt. Why's that, huh? Tell me, Max. Why?"

She reached out to caress my face. "I think _you _are the only one who can answer that, Alec." She was right.

"I love you, Max. I take everything you throw at me and keep coming back for more. I'm whipped, pathetic. Damn you for making me fall in love with you!" Tears of frustration were clouding my vision, making their way down my cheeks. The weight of realization and the admission of my feelings brought me to my knees.

Max dropped to a crouch in front of me and took my hands in hers. I didn't fight her. At that moment it was all I could do to hold myself together. I was coming apart, losing the battle within. But then Max looked deep into my eyes, my breath caught in my throat and I was surprised to see emotions there that I'd only ever dreamed she would show me. But the one thing I'd longed to see for so long was shining brightest of all.

"I love you too, Alec." I clutched at her, desperate for the only comfort that would ease my tortured heart.

"Max." I whispered hoarsely into her hair, her cheek pressed against my chest. Nothing had ever felt so right before. I never wanted to let go. We sat there holding each other close, lost in the perfect private moment, the comfort of our embrace.

Max turned her face into my shoulder, and I heard her faint voice, choked with tears. "I'm so sorry, Alec. So sorry." she said over and over. I just held her tight. The time had passed somehow and I noticed the colors that painted the sky with the dawn of a new day.

I whispered back, "Can we start over?"

TBC

**Part Fourteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	14. Shaken & Stirred

**Part 14 - Shaken & Stirred**

BEN

I woke to the sound of Alec yelling at Max. Lying in my bed, perfectly still, I'd heard most of the emotional exchange between them. It shocked me. I'd thought that Alec would be a hardcore soldier. But his humanity was so confounding in its intensity. I could tell that he really loved my little sister. I was going to have to rethink things.

Everything I'd been taught, all that I'd been told and that had been ingrained, was going belly-up. We weren't meant to be like Norms. But I was beginning to see that we really were more human than not. And the beginnings of an old, familiar ache started in my belly. I too wanted to love, to be loved. And Manticore wasn't going to provide that. If anything, they'd kept me isolated for far too long. Maybe I was strong enough to break away. If I could only convince the others I was serious. I wasn't stupid enough to think I could do this on my own.

Alec would be hard to convince. After all, I'd come after him to take him back to hell…or to kill him. Either way, I'd done the unthinkable. Tried to harm my own kind. I was beginning to feel sick. It had been a long time since I'd cared enough to feel guilty.

And his friends had wanted to kill me straight off. If I were in their position, I'd have wanted to do the same. Hell, I _would_ have done it. But after witnessing Alec's outburst, I knew that he really cared for Max and that was probably the only reason I was still alive.

I knew that Max would understand. She was the only one who ever really had. Even though Zack had known what I was up to, and he'd tried to reason with me, really tried to talk me out of killing, he never once hurt me. Max was the one who had really gotten my attention. In some warped way, I guess maybe she cared more about me than Zack did.

That was one of the problems with being left alone. I had too much time to think. And somehow, when I thought, things got confused. Why did I suddenly doubt Zack? How could I think that because Max hurt me she cared more? But it made sense. She cared enough to try anything that might stop me. I knew it. I sensed it. But I'd ignored it.

Which brought me back to Alec again. Back at Manticore I'd heard the stories. I knew what he had suffered because of me. And his anger, his hate, was thoroughly justified. Would my brother ever be able to forgive me? I could only hope and pray that the Blue Lady was looking out for me. Who was I kidding? It was all up to Max. I knew the others would follow Alec. And Alec seemed to be willing to leave any decisions regarding me up to Max.

I wasn't looking forward to the confrontation. I knew it was inevitable. How would she react? I was relatively sure she wouldn't let them kill me, but there are worse things than death…

* * *

Oh god no, not now, not like this! The shaking began and I was losing focus. The lack of medication was starting to affect me. I knew that without it I could fall back into the darkness I was so afraid of.

Manticore had 'fixed' me. They'd given me meds for the chemical imbalance in my head. Two small, blue pills, taken twice a day helped keep the urge for violence under control. But without them I was prone to psychotic behavior. And I knew I was starting to lose my grip on reality.

I glanced around the room and took in the sight of the men around me. They were still asleep. The tall guy by the door was looking at me strangely. I never liked being stared at and now was no exception.

"What are you looking at?" I growled low in my throat.

Steve looked at me, raised his gun and kept it trained on me. I don't like threats. It was at this moment that I realized I was handcuffed to the bed. Did they really think I couldn't get out of the cheap metal restraints? How stupid did Manticore make their soldiers, really? I was more than a soldier. I was angry, being held against my will, and all I could think of was ripping the throat out of the man pointing the gun.

I closed my eyes and strained against the cuffs. But as soon as the darkness drowned out the light, the image of Max's face came to me. I could hear her speaking softly. _"Ben, why are you doing this?"_ And I shook myself. Trembling, from both withdrawal and the fear that I was falling out of reach, I screamed.

"MAAAAAX!"

The room came alive in a flurry of movements. Heads whipped up all around me as the sleeping X5s were jolted awake. Max and Alec came running into the room.

"Max! Fuck! Help me!" I was yanking on the handcuffs and biting my lip, all the while my body shook. I was sweating, cold, and my head hurt. What did I do to deserve this! Max knelt by the side of the bed and caressed my face soothingly. She gripped my hand tightly and her eyes welled with tears.

"Don't cry, Maxie." I whispered. And suddenly I jerked with spasms. "Oh god, it hurts!"

Alec turned to Steve and I could faintly hear him ask "What the hell is going on?"

"The hell if I know, Alec! One second he's asleep, the next he's looking at me like a maniac, asking what I'm staring at! Then he starts shaking and finally he screamed for Max." Steve paused before muttering "He's psycho. Comes with the territory."

Alec grabbed Steve by the throat and lifted him off the ground. "Don't. Ever. Speak. About. Him. Like. That. Again." My brother meant business. If I'd had more energy, I'd probably wonder why he cared. But I was trying too hard to tell Max what was happening. She looked so scared.

"Ma-ax." She looked at me as I struggled to speak between spasms. "Me-ed-ic-ine." She looked at me in confusion. "Ba-ag. P-ills." I gestured weakly in the direction of my pack.

Alec grabbed the pack and fumbled with the zipper. He dumped the contents onto the bed. Picking up the bottle, he quickly uncapped it.

"Ben." He said, shaking me to get my attention. "How many?"

"T-wo."

A moment later I felt someone place the pills on my tongue. I dry swallowed and closed my eyes. Within minutes, my body began to relax and I opened my eyes to look at everyone. Max's face was tear-stained, Alec looked worried. Worried! My brother obviously cared more than he let on. Maybe I had a chance after all.

* * *

ALEC

I stared at my brother intently. He'd just had an attack of some sort and I had no idea what was going on. I hated being in this position. Why the hell was I worried about him anyway? The bastard tried to kill me earlier. That or capture me. Like I would let him.

"You gonna tell us what that was all about?"

Ben shrugged. "The pills regulate the chemical imbalance."

"You mean they keep you from going nuts." I turned quickly and cuffed Tanner. His comment may have been right on the mark, but I couldn't allow the others to talk like that, not in front of Max.

"Shut up."

Tanner scowled at me. In a whisper only I could hear he retorted, "You know you're thinking the same thing."

I glared at him and inclined my head in Max's direction. He must have understood as he quickly shut up and leaned back against the wall.

"So the meds keep you sane?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah. As long as I take them, I'll be fine."

"And if you don't?" Max's question startled me. Ben looked a bit surprised too. Hadn't he just said what would happen? The bastard would go crazy. Kinda self-explanatory.

"What do you mean?"

"What exactly would you have done if we hadn't given you the pills?"

Ben swallowed. "I'd have broke free and probably attacked him" he said, pointing at Steve.

"You wouldn't have made it out of bed alive." Steve's reply was cold. I couldn't help but agree with him. Steve would happily have shot Ben dead if he'd tried to escape.

"Ben." Hearing his name, he looked at Max questioningly.

"You were considering killing him? Then what made you scream my name?"

"For a brief moment I saw your face. Heard you speak to me. What you said to me in church that day."

Max closed her eyes and whispered. "Ben, why are you doing this?"

I spoke up. "I think it's kinda obvious why."

"No, Alec. Those were the exact words she spoke to me. Max and I, we've always known what the other was thinking."

Jealousy surfaced. Not only had my brother caused me to suffer pain and torture, but he was closer to Max than I was. I hated that. Hated him more in that one moment than ever before.

"Ben, why did Alec bring you here? How did you two find each other?" Max had finally asked the dreaded question. But before Ben could respond she turned to me angrily.

"And why the hell was he tied up anyway? Care to explain why he's been chained to the bed and under guard?" Her tone was venomous as she spat the words at me. I cringed inwardly. An angry Max was never fun. But a furious Max? Bodily harm was sure to follow. It looked as if our talk outside was forgotten. Did you really think she'd change? What surprised me was that I actually did.

Jake chose that moment to speak. "What do you want to hear first? How Ben attacked Alec or how Alec chose to save Ben's life?"

"What the fuck do you know about it?" Max shouted at him.

"What do I know about it?" he asked, incredulous. "A helluva lot more than you! You weren't there, dammit. _I_ was. So before you go defending your crazy brother, you should take a long hard look at the man you claim to love. Treat him with a little respect. Listen to what he has to say. _Really _listen." Jake stalked out of the room in a huff.

Max was taken aback at his outburst. My respect for Jake grew. It felt good, hearing him stick up for me like that. But I could wage and win my own battles. I turned to Max.

"Maxie, maybe we should talk about this in private."

Before she could answer, Ben spoke up.

"No. Your friend was right. I did attack Alec." He breathed deeply and took Max's hand. "My orders were to capture or kill 494. Either way, I was sent here to bring Alec back."

"Bring Alec back." she echoed. "Back where?"

"Manticore."

The breath hissed from her lips and she faltered. I reached forward to catch her. Max leaned back against me and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I could feel the tension in her small body as she seemed to struggle with Ben's admission.

"You came to take Alec back to Manticore. Are you fucking crazy!" she was furious.

"I thought we already established that." Ben muttered. I couldn't help myself, it was too funny. I cracked up. I had to give him points for humor.

A smile tugged at Max's mouth and she laughed. A moment later when Ben caught on, he and everyone in the room joined in the laughter.

"He even sounds like you." She looked up at me, grinning.

When the laughter died down, Max turned serious again. "What are we going to do with you, Ben?"

I could hear the unspoken words. Max wasn't sure she could trust him. Good for you, Maxie. Finally using those brains over your emotions. Thinking like a soldier. I wondered how this would play out.

Ben's face was sad and he wore an almost resigned look.

"I know there's no reason for you to believe me, but I want to stay with you. I am _not_ going back to base. Just one day with you guys has shown me I can be so much more than a Manticore robot. I don't want to be that person anymore. Help me, Max? Alec? Please."

I looked at him sceptically. He sounded sincere but I didn't know if I believed him. He could be playing us. Hell, I used to do it all the time. Turn on the charm, pretend sincerity, get what I want and then take down my target. It was the way we were trained. Maybe one day I would come to trust him, if he proved himself worthy. But somehow I knew I had to give him the chance.

Putting my hand on my brother's shoulder I squeezed lightly. An emotion I was unfamiliar with stirred deep inside of me. I really cared about Ben, more than I'd thought possible. Even after all the pain and suffering he'd caused me, I still cared. Maybe this was what Max felt. A closeness, a family bond that was damned hard to shake.

I replied firmly. "We'll help you, big brother. Just don't make me regret this. Don't let us down."

Obviously moved, he grabbed my hand. "I won't." I sent Ben a genuine smile. Granted, he was crazy, but Ben was family and it felt good. Maybe we _would_ get through this.

"Come on guys, let's go." I said as I turned to leave the room, wanting to give Max and Ben some time alone. She reached out to stop me.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, she drew me close and kissed me. When she finally pulled away she whispered in my ear, "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

I smiled and cupped her cheek. Speaking softly I replied, "As long as you're happy, Maxie. That's all that matters." I quickly pecked her on the nose and left the room.

She had changed. Our relationship had changed. And both of them for the better.

TBC

**Part Fifteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	15. Breaking Down The Walls

**Part 15 - Breaking Down The Walls**

**A/N: A huge thanks to lyra and Infie for their invaluable input. I would NEVER have gotten through this chapter without them!**

Max

I decided to go to the Space Needle. Ben had always liked 'the high place', somewhere he could be alone to think or talk to the Blue Lady. He'd won me over with his reasoning and I too now went to high places when I wanted to think. And I needed to think now. Be somewhere on my own where I could try to piece together my shredded life.

We'd gotten home earlier this evening and the guys had been too tired to go back to TC. I invited them all to stay at my place, seeing as Cindy was over at her current honey's. It was late and the others had gone to sleep, leaving me to suffer the wonders of my shark DNA all by my lonesome. Or so I thought.

The sound of footsteps falling softly behind me caught my attention. I looked up to see Alec standing over me, hands in his pockets. He looked uncomfortable.

"Hey." He said, quietly.

"Hey yourself." I smiled up at him shyly.

"Mind some company?" he asked, gesturing to the space beside me. I shook my head and patted the ground. He lowered himself slowly, one leg crossed under his knee. He turned to face me.

"You okay? You look kinda down."

That's an understatement if I ever heard one I thought as I stared blankly down at my lap.

"I'm always alright." I replied stiffly. Alec raised an eyebrow at me.

"Maxie, that's my line!" he said with a smirk. "I should collect royalties!"

I didn't reply. An awkward silence settled between us. Neither of us spoke for quite a while. We sat and stared into the dark night, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

Alec broke the stillness with an apology. "Max, about, well back at my apartment. I wanted to say I'm sorry. I reacted badly."

I glanced up at him briefly before lowering my eyes again. I mumbled an "It doesn't matter." As the heat of embarrassment flooded me, Alec must have sensed my discomfiture. So he did what he does best. He got under my skin and brought the fire back.

"Come on, Maxie! When have you ever backed down from a challenge?"

Did he ever bring back the fire! A _challenge_? That caught me by surprise and brought me out of my funk. "So, blowing me off and throwing me out of your apartment was a challenge?"

Instead of hitting him like I would have done any time before, I decided to change tactics. I raised my hand and cupped Alec's cheek, bringing his attention to my eyes. I gave him a seductive, teasing smile.

"This…" I traced a finger across his jaw line. "or this…" I let my finger trail down his neck to his chest and further down his stomach to the waistband of his jeans, "would be considered more of a challenge to me."

Alec's eyes widened and I could see sparks of desire there for a moment as a hesitant yet sexy smile spread across his beautiful face. He held my hands in his.

"Are you flirting with me! Not that I mind! I know I'm irresistible…"

I smacked him lightly on the arm and laughed. But I sobered quickly. I had reached out to Alec not only because I _wanted_ _him_ but because I needed to feel alive again. Something I hadn't felt for the longest time. The loss of my siblings had affected me deeply and I couldn't shake the image of their lifeless bodies lying cold on the hospital floor.

I let out a ragged breath and I shuddered under the onslaught of grief the memories evoked. The sudden shift of my emotions surprised us both. Alec took me in his arms and cradled me against his broad chest. I pushed my face into his shirt, inhaling the comforting and delicious scent that was pure Alec, and he held me as I cried.

He calmed me, silently, soothingly, rocking me gently. Knowing exactly what I needed and giving it selflessly. Like he always does. I thought.

And I smiled through my tears.

After a while he ventured, "Do you wanna talk about it?" Smirking slightly he continued, his tone playful. "Tell Uncle Alec what's wrong."

"Everything."

"Can you be a little more specific, Max? As much as I'd love to say I can read your mind…"

I chuckled slightly. Even at times like this he couldn't resist being his annoying, cocky self. I sighed deeply and he turned serious again. "What is it, Maxie?"

"When I left Seattle I went looking for my siblings." I stopped and stared at my hands. After some time Alec prodded.

"Did you find them?"

The tears streamed down my face as I whispered brokenly. "Yes."

For the first time since we talked about Ben and Rachel, Alec just sat quietly, waiting for me to continue.

"White killed two of them. Krit and Syl."

"I'm so sorry, Maxie." Alec pulled me close and held me as I cried. We sat like that for a long time, Alec offering me the comfort and safety I so desperately needed. Finally I looked up at him.

"I'm going to find him. And I'm going to destroy him. Even if it kills me."

"Max." Alec's voice was soft as he gently cupped my face. "White's dead."

I gasped. "What? When? How?"

"When we came to meet you and Biggs. I had a run-in with White. Jake shot him." Alec squared his shoulders, his face was tight and his voice was hard.

My eyes ran over his body, checking for wounds. "You weren't hurt?"

He smirked at me. "You sound surprised."

I smacked him on the shoulder. "You're a bullet magnet! When have you _not_ been hurt?"

"White could never pack a punch quite like you can."

"You ass."

"Always my ass, Maxie. Do you want me that much?" He grinned lazily at me.

I looked up at him in all sincerity. "You know I do."

That shut him up. This wasn't the time or place to move into unchartered territory. Alec lifted me into his lap and I rested my head on his chest.

"Why did you bring Ben with you?"

"Ben came after me. He attacked me. And tactically, I should have taken him out. He was a threat. To me, to the guys. Hell... personally I wanted to tear his head off! But I couldn't kill him. I wanted to, Maxie, I really did. I spent months in hell because of him and then he came after me to take me back to Manticore. I had every right and every reason. But looking at him... it changed. I couldn't do it. I'd like to say it's because he's my brother but I can't. I don't know if I'll ever truly feel close to him."

"If not because he's your twin, then why?" I wasn't following his reasoning.

"I don't know." Alec's eyes were full of pain, and I knew that he was lying.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Just leave it, Max." He looked away. I didn't push like I normally would have. He would either tell me or he wouldn't. If the subject caused so much pain, I had no right to pry. I was learning. Or maybe I was just finally opening my eyes.

"Speaking of Ben," he asked with a forced casualness. "What did you two talk about?"

I considered the question carefully before answering. "When you and the others left me alone with Ben, well, lets say it was weird."

Ben and I had shared an awkward few minutes where we just stared at each other. So much had happened in such a short time that it was hard to believe we were really together again.

Turning the clock back in my mind I recalled some of what was said.

_"I'm sorry, Maxie." _

_"What for?" _

_"For asking you to kill me. For giving you no choice." _

_"Ben, as much as it hurt me to do it and as much as I tortured myself knowing I did it, it had to be done." _

_"Do you always talk like that?" _

_"What do you mean?" _

I knew what he meant. I hadn't wanted to say the words. Knowing I'd snapped my brother's neck and saying it were two different things. And now that he was alive, and back home with me, I never wanted to say it again. The images that swam before my eyes were still too vivid and painful. I'm not sure I'll ever get over the fact that I took my brother's life with my own bare hands. Even if Manticore did save him. He had been dead. _Dead._ I had really killed him. And nothing would change that.

_Ben spoke quietly, his voice like that of a frightened child, painfully similar to how he sounded when we were in the forest that day._

_"Nothing made sense. We should never have left. After a while, I didn't care. I was a good soldier. I tried so hard. I gave the Blue Lady what she needed, and I kept asking her 'Why?' But the answer never came. And I snapped. _

_"Do you have any idea how that made me feel? Completely alone and out of control? Like a failure, Maxie. Like I wasn't good enough. Nothing I did was good enough for her. And what better way than to hunt and kill the people who believed in her? I tried so hard to show her that I was worthy and I cared but in the end it just wasn't good enough." _

_"I know it was wrong, I was wrong. And I'm so sorry. I want to change, Maxie. But I need your help." He looked at me with sad eyes. "Can you forgive me? Do you think Alec will ever forgive me?"_

_"Ben, I love you and I'll always be here for you. I'm sorry you felt lost, scared and lonely. But killing people like you did…even though you're not doing it anymore, its something that will be hard for Alec to get over, if he ever can. He suffered a lot because of you and more than once."_

_I stroked his hair and quietly asked, "It means a lot to you doesn't it? That Alec forgives you?"_

_He looked away, but not before I saw the tears shimmering in his eyes. It surprised me. Ben seemed to really need the reassurance that Alec would forgive him._

_"He's my brother, Maxie. My own flesh and blood."_

_It was a more powerful connection than Ben and I shared. And in a way I was jealous. But I knew the feeling. Krit and I had shared the same mother, the same DNA. And when he died I'd felt as if a part of me had been ripped out of my heart, leaving a void so deep nothing would ever fill it. And Ben was so vulnerable. I could only hope Alec would see how important it was for Ben to bond with him. _

_I gazed at Ben intently. "As for your questions? I've had the same ones. Almost everything in my life doesn't make sense. But I've come to accept it, even when I don't always understand._

_"Why are we the way we are? Because Manticore are a bunch of sadists who get off by watching children butcher people. That, and they're too weak to do their own dirty work. Because a bunch of crazy-ass scientists decided to mix up a DNA cocktail and throw a party. But hell if I'm gonna let them have all the fun! These are our lives, Ben. Whatever happens, only we decide who we become. It's the cycle of life. We live, we learn, we grow, we love and eventually we die."_

_Ben shrugged and grinned at me. "Looks like I messed up the sequence there, huh Max? And you forgot to throw in 'we are resurrected'."_

_"Oh god. Just my luck. You don't just look like Alec, you talk like him. Just what I need, two smart-asses."_

Alec laughed, but there was no humour in it. "Two of me? Oh, yeah... this could be fun."

"Is that all you have to say, Alec? Make stupid jokes?"

Alec leapt to his feet and threw his hands up in the air. "What do you want me to say, Max? I can't just let it all go with the snap of my fingers! I SUFFERED BECAUSE OF HIM, MAX! That's not something you just forgive and forget!"

I could see how agitated he was. Alec was biting his lip, his face tight and he ran a hand absentmindedly through his already windblown hair. I stood up and reached out to pull him to me. "Talk to me, Alec. Don't shut me out." My heart ached to see how much the memories hurt him.

"Trust me, Max. You don't want to know." He deliberately stepped away from me. The Manticore mask slammed down in place and his blank stare sent shivers down my spine. He stood rigid, unbending.

I pleaded with my eyes as I raised my hand to touch his cheek. He flinched. "No. Don't push me, Max." His body stiffened and hard look came into his beautiful eyes.

"Alec, I need to understand. If you're not open with me, how will I ever really know you?"

"You know the important stuff. The background isn't important."

"That's bullshit, Alec and you know it! All your experiences shaped you into the man you are. But I don't know him. I don't know him at all."

"Arrgh!" Alec raked his fingers through his hair. I'd never seen him so upset. "Dammit, Max! You want to hear how it happened? How Manticore learned that big brother Ben went psycho and decided they wanted to know if it was genetic? How the guards marched outside and hit me with tazers till my body burned? How they dragged me across the training grounds in front of everyone by my feet? How they strapped me to a table and forced me to look at pictures of Ben's victims? Every fucking gory detail blown up to cover an entire wall so that no matter which way I looked I still saw them?"

My eyes welled with tears and I begged him to stop. "Alec, please! That's enough. I don't need to know. You're right. It's not important."

"Too fucking bad, Max. You should have minded your own fucking business. You're going to hear what you precious 'brother' was responsible for!"

I had to get away from here, from him, from the pictures he was painting for me. But before I could make it to the stairs Alec lunged at me. Gripping me tightly he pinned me to the wall, his hands like a vise on my wrists. His body shook with barely controlled anger. Alec had never looked more dangerous. His voice dropped an octave.

"The room I was in was cold. I had no clothes, no blankets. No comforts. Dripping water from a hole in the ceiling fell into a bucket near my head. I couldn't kick it away. I was restrained. The sound of the drops hitting the metal made me want to scream.

"After that and a few other fun tricks, they used me as a lab rat. My brain was monitored. They tested the effects of various drugs, tried to find a trigger that might have been planted. I was watched, prodded, poked, tested and pushed to the breaking point, but I never did. Only god knows why though. If the insanity wasn't genetic they definitely did enough to push me over the edge."

"So now you know. I spent 6 months of intense physical and psychological torture because my twin couldn't handle the world."

I held my hand to my mouth in horror as tears streamed down my face. I stared with wide eyes at the man I had once though to be a player, without a care in the world. The man I had ridiculed and abused. The man who had suffered intense torture and come out still able to smile.

His chest heaved from the exertion and he was emotionally ragged. His shoulders slumped. Putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender he gave me a wry smile.

"And despite all of that... I still couldn't kill him. No, instead I had to decide to give him another chance. And now I'm wondering how the hell I can do that, Max. Cause I just... I just don't see that happening. I don't know if I can forgive him. And I sure as hell know I can't forget."

"Am I interrupting something?" Both our heads whipped around at the sound of the low, masculine voice.

TBC

**Part Sixteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	16. Confrontation

**Part 16 - Confrontation**

ALEC

"Am I interrupting something?" Both our heads whipped around at the sound of the low, masculine voice.

"Yes!" Max snapped quickly.

"No!" I replied at the same time. I could tell that Max wanted him to leave, that she knew I was hanging on by a thread and that the smallest mistake on his part could result in serious damage.

"Ben! Get out of here." I heard her beg in a trembling voice. My eyes narrowed as I saw him, leaning against the wall near the stairs as if all were right in the world. My anger was too fresh, too raw and too recently exposed for me to act as if everything was all right.

"It's a public domain. So if this isn't a private party…" Ben shrugged and stepped forward.

"By all means, be my guest." was my sarcastic reply.

"Ben, turn around and walk away. Please. Just go." Max was desperately trying to get her point across but Ben seemed oblivious to what was going on.

With every step my brother took, my anger grew. My body was hot and I was breathing fast and hard.

"So, what did I miss?" Ben grinned as he reached out to put his hand on my shoulder. That was my undoing. Touching me was the wrong way to go.

I looked my brother hard in the eyes. "Just describing the beauty of Psy-Ops to Maxie, here." My tone was hard and I fisted my hands repeatedly against my sides.

"Um, maybe this isn't the best time for us to talk." Ben eyed me warily. As you should, big brother.

I grabbed his arm before he could move. "No, no. This is the perfect time. Cartoons aren't on for a while yet."

Ben pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking frantically between me and Max.

Max took a step towards me. "Alec, don't do this."

I growled at her. "Stay out of it, Max."

She wouldn't give up. "You're not thinking straight! Maybe if –"

"For once, Max, MIND. YOUR. OWN. GODDAMN. BUSINESS!"

"Goddamit, Alec! Don't screw this up too because you're selfish and stubborn!" Max pulled her arm back to hit me. But I was having none of it.

Obviously our talk earlier had meant absolutely nothing to her. And she'd lied to me that day in my apartment. Like hell she didn't think I was a screw-up. Here she was going on about it again. I broke free of her grasp and grabbed her tightly by the upper arms.

"Fuck you, Max! I don't have to take that shit from you anymore! You don't know what I'm feeling. You weren't there! So don't go spouting crap at me. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF IT!"

I shoved her roughly against a glass window. It shattered and she fell backwards into the Needle's abandoned restaurant. Now that she was out of the way I focused all my attention on my brother.

"Where do you come off knocking her around like that!" Ben yelled at me.

"Oh, she likes it rough, Benny-boy. I've been on the receiving end enough to know that."

I advanced slowly, eyes glinting dangerously. Ben unconsciously took a step back. And another. And another. I laughed derisively.

"What's the matter, big brother? Don't tell me you've gone soft. I expect more from someone with your _capabilities_."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" he asked, cracking his neck and knuckles.

"You know exactly what I mean. Don't be a wuss. Let's fight this out, man to man." I mirrored my brother's actions and took up a fighting stance.

"You wanna feel like a big man, little brother?" he laughed scornfully. "Think fighting me will do the trick? Then let's get this bitch over with."

Finally figured out I mean business, huh. I grinned evilly at him. "I'm going to wipe the floor with your ass."

"Bring it on."

* * *

MAX

I was rooted to the spot as I watched Ben and Alec. The display was both frightening and wildly beautiful. Two tall, agile, strong X5 alpha males circled each other, each man's eyes, glowing with feral light, never moving from his opponent. In a flash they leapt at each other. The blur of motion as they tangled and tumbled to the ground made me gasp in shock.

Shirts shredded and discarded and the two were left in similar dark pants. I couldn't tell them apart anymore. Both bodies were covered in cuts and bruises and identical grunts and moans filled the air.

My shouts went unnoticed. And I didn't dare approach them. It was a fight for dominance on the one hand. Alec had baited Ben and he must have felt the need to prove himself. Alec on the other hand was fuelled on by pain and anger. Testosterone and sweat were abundant.

I couldn't take my eyes off the pair. Two perfect bodies with tortured minds were battling, punches and kicks interspersed between every primitive scratch, bite and growl. Like large, untamed jungle cats they attacked, all nails and teeth.

Ben's sudden shout of pain scared me. I looked down in time to see what had caused it. Alec kicked Ben hard in the gut and he rolled…and rolled…and rolled...

"Ben!" Alec's scream barely registered as I watched in growing horror as my brother slid down the slope of the Space Needle and disappeared over the side. Alec dove after him.

My brain turned to mush and my vision blurred before I fell to the ground, letting out a piercing shriek.

* * *

BEN

My fingers were slipping when a hand reached over the edge and grasped my arm tightly. I glanced up to see Alec's wide and frightened eyes staring down at me.

"Hang on. I've got you!"

I looked up at him in confusion. Just moments before we had been fighting. My brother had been intent on hurting me and he was strong enough to have killed me. But when I slipped and rolled, I'd gone over the edge. And now, here he was, hanging over the rim, holding on to me for dear life.

"Just let me go. Then it'll all be over, Alec." I said softly. "After what I put you through, it's only fitting. Poetic justice if you will."

"I'm not letting you die." His mouth was set in a straight line and his body was straining to support my weight. I could feel myself slipping slowly down as he slid, inch by inch, closer to the rim.

"Let go. Or we're both gonna die." I closed my eyes to fight the thought of my impending plunge.

"Max, get your ass over here! Grab my legs!" I heard him yell over his shoulder.

I heard running feet and felt the tight muscles in my arm strained even further as Max grabbed hold of Alec. Slowly, carefully, they started to raise me up and back over the side. Until one of them lost their footing.

Alec was breathing hard. He was shaking. His eyes held confusion, sadness and fear. My heart clenched when I felt myself slip again.

"Alec, LET ME GO." I begged. I would _not_ be the cause of my brother's death. I had no idea where we stood but I had to make peace with myself. I loosened my jacket, watching as my brother's eyes widened with comprehension.

"Ben NO!" He scrambled for purchase but it was too late.

"Alec, take care of Maxie. And...I'm sorry." I wriggled out of my jacket and let go.

* * *

ALEC

I watched in horror as my brother plunged into the darkness of the night. I watched until I could no longer see him. Then I shut my eyes tightly and let out a roar of pain. Seeing Ben let go, to keep me from getting hurt or worse, from dying, made me feel so terribly guilty.

Ben's last words reverberated in my mind. _"Take care of Maxie. And...I'm sorry."_ How the hell was I going to take care of Max? She'd never forgive me for causing Ben's death...I'd never forgive myself. I was beginning to understand the strength of Max's emotions and guilt at having murdered Ben all those months ago. Oh god, Rachel was bad enough. But Ben? I'm a monster! Max was right not to trust me. I'm a killer. I'll never be anything else.

TBC

**Part Seventeen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	17. What Have I Done!

**Part 17 - What Have I Done!**

MAX

Alec crawled back from the ledge, clutching tightly at a bundle. Still shocked and frightened at all that had occurred in the space of less than 10 minutes, I noticed belatedly that Ben was nowhere to be seen and the bundle in Alec's hands was Ben's jacket.

"Alec," I started in a frightened whisper as cold fear gripped me. "Where's Ben?"

I began to panic when I received no reply.

"Where's Ben?" My voice rose to frantic cry. Still, no answer was forthcoming. Alec was shaking and muttering to himself and I could see the tears coursing down his cheeks.

"Aleeeeeeeeeeeeec! Where's BEN!" I was hysterical now. Ben had disappeared over the edge of the Needle and he was gone. It couldn't be true. I'd only just gotten him back, he couldn't be gone!

Alec looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes, so full of pain and apology. Inside I raged at my traitorous mind for feeling bad for him. Alec didn't deserve my pity. He killed my brother. The man I loved killed my brother. Ben. He killed Ben. Alec killed Ben. All I could see was red, and the words came unchecked from my mouth.

"All those times I stood up for you with Logan. He said all you'd ever be was a cold blooded killer. But I never believed it. It was all Manticore. You were following orders. You even tried to stop them from hurting Rachel." I took a deep breath before continuing. "I never thought you would betray me like this. You killed BEN! Your own brother! Did you hate him that much? Hate ME that much?"

Alec didn't say a word. He flinched with every word I spoke, with each octave that increased in my voice.

"Get out. I never want to see you again. Renfro once told me I was poison. She was wrong. YOU ARE. Get out. Just GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!"

He rose slowly and the sadness in his eyes almost persuaded me to run to him, hug him close and tell him everything would be ok. But I hardened my heart and stared coldly at the man I thought I loved. The one I thought would keep me safe. The one who had torn out my heart and shredded it before my very eyes.

Alec walked past me, eyes downcast, one foot placed slowly in front of the other. He looked broken. Hell he should look broken. He's killed his own family. And I knew how that felt. Dammit! Stop letting your heart take over! Use your head!

If I were the person Manticore had wanted me to be, I would have ripped Alec's throat out. I would have attacked and killed him for what he'd done. But I couldn't do it. And Alec's words from earlier came to mind. _"... tactically, I should have taken him out. He was a threat. To me, to the guys. Hell... personally I wanted to tear his head off! But I couldn't kill him. I wanted to, Maxie, I really did."_ Now I knew what it was he had felt when he said he didn't know why. Love, family. He obviously cared about Ben. Then why did he kill him, Max? The voices were battling in my head and I didn't know who to listen to. My heart or the voices. I settled on the voices.

"Max," he said warily as he stepped past me towards the stairwell. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Everybody's fucking sorry. But sorry doesn't cut it. Ben was sorry but you didn't care. You're sorry? Well, I. DON'T. CARE. Just leave and don't ever come back!"

Am I making a mistake? I thought as tears streamed from my eyes and I saw his leather coat disappear into the stairwell.

* * *

ALEC

She meant every word. She wanted me out of her life. In Max's eyes I had betrayed her in the worst way possible. I had killed her "family". That put me right up there on top of the list with White and Manticore.

I made my way down the stairs and onto the street below. I was so consumed with guilt that I could almost hear Max scream, "Why? What did I do to deserve this? Everyone I love leaves me. Don't I deserve some happiness?"

As I walked in silence, I reflected on her words and I recognized the cruel truth. Even if she did love me, Max would never forgive me. II had finally screwed up the one good thing in my life. My chance for happiness. My second chance. And this time, for good.

The wind was cold on my face. chilled by the tears on my cheeks. I stumbled aimlessly through the streets of the city. Where would I go now? Staying in Seattle was out of the question. But it meant leaving everyone I cared about behind. Could I do that just for Max? But I knew the answer before even asking the question. I would do anything for Max. And if my absence was what she needed, I would give it to her.

* * *

MAX

I sat on the Space Needle for hours. I was numb inside. I had only just begun to accept that Ben was alive and well when he'd been snatched from me again. I'd always been able to take whatever life handed me and make it work as best as I could. But this time I was beyond repair. I'd lost my favorite brother again. First by my own hand, and now by Alec's. Was I destined to lose everyone that I cared about? I threw my head back and sobbed into the night.

"Why? What did I do to deserve this? Everyone I love dies. Don't I deserve some happiness? Why me?"

The sun was coming up and I had to get back home. The others would be wondering what happened. And as much as it sickened me to think about it, I was going to need help collecting Ben's remains before the Sector Police or some wandering civilian found his body. My brother would have a proper burial. Krit and Syl had been robbed of that, but not Ben. I'd make sure of that.

I took the stairs down, pausing at every window I passed, waiting a few moments on each level, hoping against hope that a miracle had occurred and Ben would pop out and say "Had ya for a minute there, eh Maxie?" and I'd punch him and laugh. And we'd go home together and have a cup of coffee and joke about how easy it was to pull the wool over each other's eyes.

I'd gone down about 7 floors when I was met with a sight that would be forever etched in my mind, clouded by emotion and tears.

The Space Needle was old and broken down. Beams, wires and poles jutted in every direction from the tired structure. It was on one such beam that my eyes fell. I couldn't tear them away.

"Ben?" I whispered incredulously. It was impossible. It couldn't be. But it was. Ben had fallen directly onto a concrete support beam that was leaning precariously off to the side. As I spoke, I could see the slight rise and fall of Ben's chest and I was filled with hope and excitement. He was alive!

"Ben! Hold on, I'm coming!" I stepped carefully onto the stretch of concrete and inched toward my brother's crumpled form.

"Ben, don't move!" He had shifted and the beam was beginning to tilt forward. I'm _NOT _going to lose him _again!_ was the only think I could think as I reached out to grab hold of him. The beam was now sliding down under the force of our combined weight. I pulled tightly and dragged him with me as I made a leap for the window. And just barely caught hold of the ledge.

We fell inside in a mess of limbs. Ben was a wreck. His body was covered in cuts and bruises. There was a large gash over one eye and his arm was broken. I winced as I realised it was the arm I had dragged him by. He hadn't made a sound. The fall must have knocked him out.

I reached for my cell phone and dialled Alec. Oh my god! Alec! I told him to leave and never come back. He thinks he killed Ben! There was no answer on his phone. I quickly dialled Biggs.

"Biggs?" I said before the voice on the other end could say a word. "Is Alec there?"

The reply I received was nothing short of enraged. "What the fuck did you do to him now, huh Max?"

"Later. Can I speak to him, please?" I begged. I almost never beg, but I begged now. I had to tell Alec that Ben was alive.

"No you can't."

"Biggs, don't fuck with me. Let me talk to Alec."

I could hear his knuckles crack in the background as the hard voice retorted, "Too late for that, Maxie. You really did a number on him this time." He paused for effect. "Alec left about 20 minutes ago. Destination unknown. You happy now, Max?"

"Oh god." He was gone. Alec, gone. He finally listened to me and left. I hadn't really expected him to go, he'd never done it before! What have I done? "Did he say anything?"

"All I know is that he asked me to...never mind. We need to talk."

"We will. I promise I'll explain everything but...Biggs," I hesitated. He sounded so angry. "I - " I broke off as the words caught in my throat. I made a choking sound as I bit back tears.

"What is it, Maxie?" Biggs' voice had lost it's edge and he sounded concerned.

"Can you and the guys meet me at the Space Needle? Ben's been hurt."

"How did he - was it - no, he wouldn't." he asked in a voice suddenly laced with worry and understanding.

"Just hurry, please." I choked out, glancing at Ben. His forehead gleamed with sweat and he looked pasty. He'd lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion. "He needs blood, fast."

"On our way, Max."

The phone slammed down and I stared at Ben. Alec was gone. And I was responsible for it. There was no one else to blame this time. Somehow, I'd get Ben to safety. It was time to push aside my feelings and concentrate on getting Ben fixed up.

TBC

**Part Eighteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	18. Exit Enemy, Enter Friend

**Part 18 - Exit Enemy, Enter Friend**

ALEC

I walked for hours. I wanted to be alone. Just when things had started to look good I had to go screw them up. Maybe I was everything Max had ever said I was. Incompetent, unreliable...poison. Maybe she was right about that. I'd gotten a unit mate killed a few years back because I was too scared to stick up for him. I'd killed Rachel. And now, Ben. All I wanted to do was bury my sorrows at the bottom of a bottle of scotch...or three.

Not having paid attention to the direction my feet were carrying me, I found myself standing outside of Fogle Towers. Whatever had possessed me to subconsciously choose to go to Logan's was now urging me to go upstairs. I walked in a daze, taking the stairs one at a time, all the way up to the penthouse. I stood before his door and hesitated briefly.

Logan wouldn't be happy to see me. If anything, he blamed me for everything that went wrong in his and Max's not-like-that relationship. He and I had never bonded. We'd barely stomached each other's presence in Max's life so that we could both stay close to her. And here I was, about to knock on his door seeking companionship, or at the very least, alcohol.

Letting out a long breath, I knocked. It wasn't something I'd ever done before, but I figured the guy deserved a little respect. After all, I _was_ barging into his home in the middle of the night.

The sound of footsteps grew louder and the door opened. Logan looked at me in surprise.

"You never knock." he stated matter of factly.

"I know. Figured it's about time I used my manners." I replied as I brushed past him, shedding my jacket as I went.

"You've got a long way to go with your manners." he snorted. "Like waiting to be invited in, for instance. Or coming at a decent hour."

I didn't reply. He had a point. I just didn't care. I needed that alcohol. I wasn't coping. For the first time since Rachel, I was falling apart inside. I'd just killed the only blood relative I had and it hurt like hell.

I wandered into the living room and plopped down on the couch, propping my feet up on his coffee table. Logan looked down at me in, his displeasure at my presence oozing from every pore. I threw my arms back and spread them over the top of the couch.

"Why are you here, Alec?"

"This is gonna make you happy, old man! So, smile!" My laugh was hollow. I ran a hand through my hair and then lowered it to my knee.

He looked at me expectantly.

"Buddy, its gonna take a lot of alcohol for me to get through this story. Got anything to drink?"

Logan shook his head and laughed. "Low on cash, Alec? Couldn't go to Crash to knock them back?"

I looked up at him, my eyes serious and even slightly pleading. I was hurt, and keeping up my 'I'm always alright' facade wasn't working tonight.

"I needed someone to talk to." I spoke softly, almost hoping he couldn't hear my confession.

Logan looked at me long and hard and finally walked over to the cabinet and withdrew a few bottles of liquor and some glasses. Placing them on the table he sat down to face me.

"You're serious, aren't you?" I nodded and opened the bottle, pouring us each a drink. "So why come to me?" he asked.

"Because you've been in this situation before." I replied simply.

"Max." He smiled ruefully.

"Yeah. Max." I downed the amber liquid in one gulp, enjoying the fiery sensation as it burned my throat. I repeated the action until I felt calmer.

"What, you two have a lovers' tiff or something?" he asked, watching me carefully as he leaned back into the armchair and choked down his drink. I took note of his posture and was startled. It had never really occurred to me before. Logan was terribly effeminate for a man. Huh.

"Or something. We'd only just gotten closer and I screwed it all up, like usual." I dropped my face in my hands before looking up at him.

Logan must have felt bad. He said something I never thought he'd say. "You're not a screw-up Alec. Impulsive, sometimes careless, annoying, yes, but you've always been there for Max and you've never let me down, so...don't be so hard on yourself."

I laughed scornfully. "Right. Wait till you hear what I did before you go singing my praises." I downed another glass.

"So tell me."

"I killed Ben." I said heavily and I looked at him to gauge his reaction. I refilled my glass yet again.

"You killed Ben." he echoed. He shook his head and lifted an eyebrow. "Max's Ben?" I nodded. "Alec, Manticore killed Ben, almost a year ago."

I spoke without thinking. "I don't want to burst your little fantasy bubble or anything, but Manticore didn't kill Ben. Max did." Hearing his sharp intake of breath I realized too late what I'd done. I'd told Logan the one thing Max had kept from him. Shit!

"Say that again?" Logan's face was confused, surprised and I noted, a bit fearful. He swallowed his drink as quickly as I did mine. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so damn sad.

"Nothing." I wanted to take back the words, but the seeds had been sown. I kicked myself mentally. I'd done enough to hurt Max. She didn't need this too. Somehow, I had to fix this. And if I couldn't fix it, I had to play it down.

"H-h-how?" he breathed, pouring himself another drink and tossing it down more rapidly that the preceding one. I didn't know he had it in him to drink like that.

"She chased him into the woods. They fought. It didn't end pretty." No point rehashing the details. This way at least Logan would think it was self-defence.

"I wish I'd known. I kept telling her it was Manticore's fault." He cocked his head and a thoughtful look crept over his face. "So, how exactly did you come to kill Ben, since we've already clarified that Max killed him last year?" He held his glass loosely in his hand, the effect of the alcohol finally taking over.

"Manticore fixed him. They've done it before. Anyway, they sent him after me to bring me back to the fold. We fought, he ended up flat on his back and later chained and stuffed in my trunk." The anger I had felt when I'd first seen Ben pointing his gun at me came back full force only to be squashed heavily by a piercing stab of guilt. I let out a ragged breath. I could feel Logan's eyes on me, as if waiting for me to explain.

Downing glass after glass of liquid fire, and trust me, Logan had the real good stuff, my tongue loosened and I told him about the events of the past few days. About my fight with Max, her little road trip, Krit and Syl's deaths, meeting up with Ben, White, my jealousy of Biggs, and finally I told him about what happened up on the Space Needle.

Who would have thought? For someone who seemed to like the sound of his own voice so much, Logan was a good listener. And insightful as well. He pointed out to me that I had every reason to distrust Max's declaration of love, after all, she'd done nothing but put me down for as long as either of us could remember. He'd expressed sympathy at the loss of her siblings and he'd shuddered at the though of my being taken back to Manticore.

"Why would you care? I mean, you hate me, right?" That was the scotch talking. All my original inhibitions were gone and I was going to say it like it was.

I watched as Logan swirled the liquid in his now full glass and raised it to his lips. He knocked back his drink and swallowed before answering. "I don't hate you. Hate's a strong word, Alec. I'll admit that I don't always like you. What man would like his rival?"

"You see me as a rival." Okay. We were actually communicating. If we were completely sober there was no way in hell we'd be having this conversation. Expressing feelings is NOT a guy thing, especially not a _ transgenic_ guy thing.

"Yeah, a rival. But I envy you."

Okay. That was weird. "Envy me." I echoed. "Why the hell do you envy me?"

"You saw what you wanted and you went after it. And you didn't back down until you got it." He was referring to Max and he knew I knew it.

"Do you blame me? She's hot. But more than that, she's passionate, caring...and when she opens up and lets herself _be_ herself, she's a helluva lot of fun." I took a swig from the glass, starting to slow down. The urgency to drink myself into oblivion had lessened.

Logan sighed heavily before tossing back the remaining liquor in his glass. "Not at all. I wish I could bring that side of her out. She never smiles around me anymore, not genuinely."

How perceptive of him. Sometimes I couldn't believe this guy. Was he so wrapped up in himself that he didn't notice the 'love of his life' was suffering? Suddenly all I wanted to do was shake him till his teeth rattled and he finally realized that HE was the cause of her unhappiness.

But Logan surprised me.

"It's my fault, you know. I shouldn't have held on so long. It's been over for a long time, if it ever even began."

Wow. Like I said, insightful. "Logan, don't beat yourself up about it. You held on to a dream. Believe me, I know what that's like."

His eyes turned sad and when he finally spoke his words were measured. "You referring to Rachel?"

I gasped. How did..? Max. She _would_ have told him that. And that hurt. It had been told in confidence. "So she blabbed to you, huh."

"Alec, don't blame Max for this. Before she knew anything about Rachel she asked me check out Berrisford. It was after your Jam Pony delivery. She was worried about you. We both were."

I breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't make things different; Logan still knew what he had no right to know, not unless I had wanted to tell him about it, and I didn't. But it made it easier to accept, knowing she'd only been trying to help. And I knew I owed Logan a debt of gratitude.

"Logan, buddy, thanks. For getting her the info. It saved my ass."

Logan smiled a bit sheepishly. "Funny, I never thought I'd say this, but...I'm glad. You're not all bad once you open up."

Logan had had a lot to drink, for an Ordinary, and at the best of times he was a lightweight. Male bonding and alcohol. We were quite the pair. If anyone had told me any time in the past that I'd be sitting with Logan, drinking and _talking_, I'd have laughed in their face. Funny how things turn out the way you least expect them to.

"Alec, you and I both know you're a trained killer. And yeah, sometimes it scares me. I'll admit I've said some nasty things about you in the past and I've doubted your motives. But however you look at it, what happened tonight was an accident. Ben _ chose to let go_. You didn't. Remember that."

Assailed by guilt yet again, I tilted my head to one side and closed my eyes tightly, letting out a long breath. My eyes threatened to tear so I massaged my fingers over them as if rubbing weariness from my face. I blinked to hold them back and reached out to clap Logan on the shoulder. I smiled, though it was hollow. "Thanks buddy. I needed that."

All in all, I had to give it to the guy, Logan could be nice. He should get drunk more often. He wasn't completely evil when he was drunk.

Logan refilled his glass and changed the subject back to Max. "I always thought you two would get together. I knew it from the moment I first saw you that I didn't have a chance. Max could never be happy with me, not completely. She needs someone to make her happy and the someone she chose was you."

I snorted derisively. "Like she's happy with _me_. She hates me."

"Max has issues."

Logan's little statement made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. "Did you just say that the all-powerful, always-right, missy-miss Max Guevara has _issues_?" I was sputtering and giggling like a schoolgirl. I'd always thought Max could do no wrong in Logan's book. Guess I should have read the footnotes.

He shifted uncomfortably and mumbled, "You tell her I said that and _we'll_ have issues."

I scoffed. Like Logan could do anything to me. "I've been saying it longer than you have, buddy. I've got it patented." Logan gave a slight chuckle.

His head lolled to one side. His eyes snapped open and he blinked a couple times. "I think I've had too much to drink." he said a little thickly. I thought so too, but figured it best not to bring it to his attention. After all, there was still a full bottle of scotch on the table. If he'd started drooling though, I definitely would have said something.

We sat in companionable silence. Logan swallowed the last of his drink. I finished the contents of the last bottle and got up to leave. "I'm gonna head out."

"Sit your ass down, Alec. You're in no state to go anywhere." His words were slurring but I could tell he was sincere.

Logan rose unsteadily to his feet, the exoskeleton humming as he leaned on one foot and then the other to keep his balance.

"Couch opens to a sofa bed. Clean sheets are in the hall closet. Get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning." I heard his shoes squeak down the hallway, almost drowned out by the whirring of his walking aid.

I made up the bed and laid down. I closed my eyes. I was desperate for a dreamless sleep where Max wasn't yelling or hitting me, where Ben's resigned face falling into darkness wasn't haunting me. But who was I kidding? My wishes never seemed to come true...

TBC

**Part Nineteen **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	19. Issues of Trust

**Part 19 - Issues of Trust**

BIGGS

We pulled up at the Space Needle less than 10 minutes after I'd hung up with Max. I looked up at the structure and tried to imagine what had happened. Alec had been smouldering under the surface ever since he'd come to Olympia to meet me and Max. I knew that having Ben around was really hard for him and I could only imagine what had happened between them. It would have to have been something monumental to cause Alec to disappear, leaving Ben hurt and Max frantic for the both of them. Like my life wasn't already drama-packed. Shit.

Jake, Tanner, Steve and I made our way slowly up the stairs. It was a long way up. The Needle hadn't been in use for years and the elevator was a lost cause. Even if it had worked, I still would have taken the stairs. I don't like taking chances with my life. I enjoy it too much. For the most part.

We were almost there. I caught sight of Max rocking slightly, one hand under Ben's head, the other over his heart. He was pale and his breathing was erratic as was obvious from the uneven rise and fall of his chest beneath Max's hand.

"Jake, get the transfusion kit, fast. Tanner, Steve we need to find something to use as a makeshift stretcher. We can't carry him down like this. If there's internal bleeding..." I didn't need to finish the sentence. It was obvious what could happen.

I looked at my friends and a twinge of guilt stabbed at me. I hadn't told them about my conversation with Alec earlier and they had no idea he was gone. They thought that the man they were currently trying to save was Alec. I hadn't told them otherwise; I knew they would have happily left Ben for dead. Jake, Tanner and Steve were fiercely loyal to Alec and they weren't happy with Ben's attempt to capture him. But Alec had begged me to look out for Max. A week ago I would have done it just because he'd asked me to. But this was Max, and she was my friend. I didn't need a reason.

Tanner found some flat wood a couple floors up and hurried to bring it to us. Carefully lifting Ben onto the plank, we manoeuvred ourselves so that Max was at his side, the transfusion already in progress as we braved the stairs and began our descent.

Once at street level, we made room in the back of Alec's car and lowered Ben inside. The rest of us climbed in.

"Where are we taking him?" Jake started the engine and looked at me briefly.

"Back to Max's place." I said, checking Ben's vitals.

"Why not to his place?" Steve questioned. His face showed confusion.

Before I could reply, Max whipped her head up and she growled. "Where the hell would that be, Manticore? Just take us home."

Jake stopped the car short and I was thrown by the jolt and hit the back of his seat. He and Steve glared at me. Tanner glanced between us and then down at Ben and back at me again.

"That's Ben." he stated angrily.

Max looked up at Jake in confusion, oblivious to the tension in the car. "Jake, what the hell is going on? We need to get him home, fast!"

I looked at the others unwaveringly and spoke harshly. "Ben and Alec had a fight. Alec's gone and Ben's in trouble. We _are_ going to help him. You can kill me later. Jake start the goddamn car and get a fucking move on!" I relaxed slightly when the car was once more moving through the quiet streets.

Max leaned back in her seat, her breath coming fast. I reached for her hand and gripped it tightly. She returned the squeeze and flashed a quick smile of thanks.

I had to know what went down. "Max?" I spoke in a low voice only she could hear. "What happened up there?"

She shook her head and mouthed 'Not now.' I nodded back. This probably wasn't the best place to discuss the events of the night. But I couldn't stop worrying about Alec. "Where are you, bro?" Max flinched and removed her hand from mine, her sad face guilt-ridden, and it occurred to me that I had spoken out loud. I pulled her close and she turned her face into my shirt and cried.

Max pulled away suddenly. I looked at her in surprise but as I followed her gaze I nearly choked. Ben was seizing again. His body was shaking and he was coughing up blood.

"Bad. This is bad. Really bad." Steve mumbled to himself over and over as he turned Ben's head to clear his airway. I grabbed Max and pulled her back. "Steve needs room to work, Max. There's nothing you can do." Turning to Jake I said quickly, "Terminal City, now! We need to get him to Medical!"

Jake pursed his lips, obviously unhappy with the order. "Great. Now I'm playing chauffer to a madman." He muttered angrily.

I leaned forward, dug my fingers hard into his shoulder and pressed close to his ear. "Alec would hurt you for that. Don't think that I won't do it in his place."

Jake practically spit venom at me. "You're as whipped as he is. That bitch has you wrapped around her finger."

Lucky for Jake he was driving. I held myself in check and managed to bite back, "Max is my friend, as well as yours. You'd do good to remember that."

I glanced at Steve and his eyes met mine. He shook his head slightly. I closed my eyes. This did not bode well for the badly wounded Ben. Steve's eyes conveyed without words the seriousness of the situation. Without proper medical care he wouldn't last the night. I knew it, and he knew it.

I held Max close and kept her eyes on mine. "Max, he's gonna be alright. Shhh, he's gonna be fine." I stroked her hair, wishing Alec were here. He'd know what to do. Dealing with girls wasn't something I was good at. Not when they were like this at least.

* * *

We turned into a back entrance of Terminal City and Jake wove in and out between scattered debris and piles of brick and metal scraps. We pulled up in front of our makeshift Medical building and I helped Steve and Tanner pull Ben from the car.

Max was standing off to the side, body shuddering and tears falling freely from her eyes. I motioned to Tanner. "Get Joshua. I don't want her left alone."

Tanner stared at me. "She needs Alec." His eyes challenged me to tell him what was going on, but I couldn't give him information I didn't have.

"I know." was all I said as I went to join the others.

* * *

When I entered Medical, I saw Kat and Mel already hard at work. There was no choice but to open up and get a look at Ben from the inside. In his present state, weak pulse, dilated pupils and shallow breathing, it was a big risk.

"Is Ben gonna be ok?" I asked quietly.

Without missing a beat, Kat replied, hands deep inside Ben's chest cavity. "He's got a collapsed lung, what do you think? And I'd appreciate it if you would all leave. This is a delicate procedure. We can't afford any mistakes."

As I turned to leave Mel pulled me to the side. "Ben? That's not Alec?"

I shook my head. She muttered under her breath. "Thank god." Then she laughed lightly. "Damn. There's two of them?"

I smiled ruefully and shrugged. "Double trouble."

Silently we filed outside. I leaned against the door, Kat and Mel's voices drifting through and sending shivers down my spine.

"Mel, we've got Traumatic Pneumothorax with complications. Dammit! We don't need this right now!"

Mel's voice shook. "Hemothorax?"

"Get me 30mg of -"

"Got it!"

"Shit, I've never seen so much blood before, Kat!"

"Suction!"

Noise, clattering. I wanted to know what was happening but I didn't dare enter the room.

"Scalpel...Okay, clamp. How're we doing?"

"He's stabilising."

"Thank g-"

"Not so fast. his pressure's dropping! Kat -!"

There was a flurry of movement and the voice pitch dropped so I couldn't hear anything else. I looked at Steve and Jake who were still by my side, and had the decency to look somewhat ashamed of themselves.

"That's Alec's twin in there, Max's family. No matter how you feel about him, remember this: Alec wouldn't want him dead or he'd have killed him already. I want you guys to let me know the minute Kat and Mel are done." They nodded mutely and I turned on my heel and went in search of Max.

TBC

**Part Twenty **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	20. Sayin' It Like It Is

**Part 20 - Sayin' It Like It Is**

A/N: It's impossible to thank GirlyGirl enough for her invaluable input, suggestions, corrections and for keeping me sane on this terrifying journey into Logan-land. Also, hugs and hugs for stepping in as beta when mine was busy slaving to ever-demanding professors! And a huge thanks to my usual Beta - 'Bel, you rock! Good luck with school! I miss you! 

LOGAN

God, my head hurts! I rolled out of bed, slipped my feet into my blue fuzzy slippers and threw on my robe. Walking over to my dresser, I reached for clean socks and underwear. Changing quickly, I stood up and took a look at myself in the mirror. I was appalled at my appearance. My eyes were bleary and there were dark circles underneath. I shuddered as I realized something else. I look old. Haggard, I corrected myself. I looked haggard.

Pointing at my reflection I wagged a finger at myself. "Remind me never to get -" Drunk! I'd gotten drunk! There was a reason I didn't drink much. I hate the morning after; the splitting headache and subdued motor functions. But I'd gotten drunk last night. With Alec.

I walked out into the hallway and passed the living room, coming into the kitchen. I pulled out a bowl and some cereal and was about to open the refrigerator to get the milk when I was startled by the view of my living room. Alec was asleep on the sofa bed. Alec? What the hell is he still doing here? My head still hurt but I could remember most of what had happened the previous night. I had done some hacking, a broadcast, had dinner, read a bit and gone to sleep around midnight. And somewhere around 3am Alec had come over to talk. He finished off all my pre-pulse scotch. And I'd offered to let him stay the night, or what was left of it.

I looked at Alec's sleeping form as the night replayed in my mind. What I'd said the night before was true; I didn't hate him. I thoroughly disliked him, though last night I'd seen a glimpse of a softer, more human side to the hard soldier. Alec had come over, a shadow of his usual self. He'd wanted to talk. And talk he had. I thought about what we'd discussed. Ben had apparently come back from the dead only to die again, which meant that Max had lost three, not two more siblings if what Alec said about Krit and Syl was true...But as close as we came to bonding, something was holding me back. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake my jealousy. The handsome X5 had wanted my girl and he'd gotten her. Something I never did and still can't understand why. But they'd fought and Max had sent Alec packing. I smiled smugly. Hmmm...

* * *

ALEC

I woke quickly and sat up. My back was stiff and the crick in my neck was annoying. I rolled my shoulders and neck to ease the tight muscles. I also reeked of alcohol. It was at that moment I looked up and saw a daylight. And what a view! The city of Seattle was spread out beneath me through Logan's living room window. Logan! I'd slept on his couch, in his living room, in his friggin penthouse. What was I thinking, coming to Logan? The two of us had nothing in common. But come to think of it, it hadn't been all that bad. Logan had listened, really listened, and he hadn't judged me. He'd even tried to reassure me. Maybe he wasn't such an asshole after all. Maybe I could see some of what Max had found attractive in him. Maybe.

I stretched and rose from the bed, looking around curiously. Though I'd been in his apartment many times, I'd never really looked at it. The man had taste. Expensive taste. For a man who was as good as attached to his computer equipment, he could have sold off all the fancy stuff, found more modest accommodations and been set for life. What a waste.

I turned around and spotted Logan in the kitchen. That surprised me. I should have heard him come in. That exoskeleton makes an awful lot of noise. Could I have drank so much that it dulled my senses? I'll just have to keep that in mind.

"Breakfast?" came the offer from the kitchen as Logan dropped his bowl into the sink and proceeded to clean up after himself.

"Yeah. Sounds about good. Whatcha got?" I walked into the room and hopped onto the counter.

"Uh, Alec, last night when I was drunk...if I said anything..." his voice trailed off and he looked down at his shoes.

"It's all good, buddy. Thanks for the alcohol. And for...you know." I waved a hand in his general direction. I had a hard time getting that out. How does a guy thank a guy for...listening?

"No problem. So, what are you going to do?" he asked as he handed me a bowl and a box of cornflakes. I scrunched my face in distaste. I don't like cornflakes. Give me sugary goodness anytime, but _cornflakes?_ Logan's cereal is as boring as everything else he does.

"I'm not sure. My girl," I saw Logan flinch as I said that and I cleared my throat, "Max made it pretty damn clear she wants me out of her life. But what am I supposed to do, just get up and leave everyone and everything I know behind?"

"The right thing to do would be to respect Max's wishes." he said patronizingly.

I don't think I'd ever heard Logan sound so snooty, and that was definitely saying something. What an ass! How many times did he ignore his own advice? And here I'd been thinking the guy wasn't so bad...I wouldn't make that mistake again.

"You mean the _Logan_ thing to do! Look where that got _you_!" I poured myself a bowl. It didn't look like the guy had anything else to eat anyway. It was almost like...he hadn't restocked his pantry since Max had broken ties with him. I took a bite and chewed the mouthful before snorting at Logan.

"Look, I'm not trying to rub your face in this or anything, but admit it. You and Max never had anything. As Max pointed out countless times, the two of you 'weren't like that'." I took another bite and chewed slowly, watching as his eyes glazed in rage and jealousy. Neither were you, Alec I reminded myself with a sigh. Oh no, I let my stupidity get in the way. But no way was I gonna tell Logan that. He was still under the impression that Max and I had been together for a while. "Sorry buddy, but I can actually get what I want. And I did. Max and me? It's something. And I'm not giving it up. Not giving _her_ up." _Max is mine._

I stopped, spoon mid-air and dripping milk. Max. I cringed inwardly as I remembered her tear-streaked face. The angry words she had spoken cut me like a knife._ "Get the fuck out of my life!" _ Could I really do that? Leave and never come back?

I put down my spoon. The cereal was soggy anyway.

"Alec," I looked up at Logan's tightly controlled face. His voice was shaking with anger. "I think it's time you left."

I smiled bitterly. "No need to get all pissy, buddy. Just sayin' it like it is. Besides, we _both_ lost, remember?" I turned on my heel and walked out the door, but not before I caught the same bitter smile on Logan's face. I guess we did have something in common after all.

* * *

I trekked to the Space Needle. Some magnetic force was pulling me back to the one place I dreaded going. The scene of my brother's death.

Climbing to the top of the Needle, I crept down the slanted stretch of metal and stood as close to the edge as I dared. Looking down, I could see nothing but an endless drop. My transgenic eyes zeroed in on the spot where Ben's body should have been. Max must have had it removed I thought with a shudder. I stepped back from the edge. I didn't want to see the blood or gore that was left behind.

I thought about everything I'd done to make Max hate me. The first disappointment being that I wasn't Ben, then the whole breeding partner thing, my almost killing Joshua and then her, getting involved with White and causing her to lose the cure for the virus...the list was a mile long. But she'd told me she loved me, and I believed her, god help me I did.

I had to talk to Biggs. I never thought I'd appreciate his closeness to Max, but I sure as hell did now. Maybe he could smooth things over. Yeah right. Who was I kidding?

I had been lost in thought for a good hour before the chill invaded my bones. Shit. My jacket! I thought, making a dash for the stairs. I'd have to go back for it. And Logan was the last person I wanted to see right now. Okay, second-to-last. I wasn't relishing the idea of running into Max any time soon.

TBC

**Part Twenty-One **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	21. Promises

**Part 21 - Promises**

BIGGS

I found Max on the roof, curled up in Joshua's lap, fast asleep. She looked peaceful for the first time in days and I was reluctant to wake her. I laid my hand on the dog-man's shoulder and he smiled at me as I sat down next to him.

"How's she doing?" I enquired quietly.

"Max is all worn out, scared and unhappy." he told me sadly. I just nodded. When she woke up I hoped she'd tell me what was going on. Alec leaving Seattle was a blow that TC wouldn't take lightly. She was going to need her friends' support and I would back her up no matter what. It would just make things easier if I understood why.

Max stirred slightly and opened her eyes. She sat up, stretched and turned to give Joshua a hug.

"Thanks Big Fella. I really needed that." Then she noticed me. Her eyes flashed with worry and regret, a mixture I was pained to see. Max had been through so much in just a few short days and I really didn't want to be the one to tell her that Ben would most likely not pull through.

Joshua got to his feet, sensing our need to be alone. Joshua amazed me. He had an uncanny knack for understanding people and their needs. It was what everyone loved about him. His gentle ways and kind words were a pleasant contrast to the harsh realities of everyday life.

"Joshua is going to see Ben now. Don't worry, Little Fella. Ben will be ok." he said as he kissed her on the top of her head and went inside.

Max looked at me full of apprehension. "How is he, really?" she asked in a shaky voice, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Max. It doesn't look good. But he's an X5, he's strong, a fighter." I could see that my words were affecting her and I felt terrible for inflicting yet more pain on my friend. But what would lying help? If Ben died...at least she was prepared, for what it was worth.

Max touched my shoulder gently. Trying to change the subject, she asked, "Earlier. You said we needed to talk. What about?"

I sat quietly for a moment as I remembered my conversation with Alec from the previous day.

_Alec walked into Max's apartment, his manner subdued and his eyes unfocused. He reached for his bag and collected the few items of his that were lying around the room._

_"Alec! What's up?" I asked concerned._

_"Something went down between me and Max. I fucked up, Biggs. Worse than I ever have before. And this time, she'll never forgive me. Hell, I'll never forgive myself." He stopped and stared at nothing. The change in my friend was worrisome and I was confused._

_ "What are you talking about, man?" _

_ "It's...nothing. But promise me something?" Alec shoved his hands deep into his pockets and turned to face me. His eyes were full of anguish and remorse. He looked haunted._

_ "Sure, buddy. Anything." I still wasn't sure what he was getting at, but this was Alec. Didn't he know I'd do anything he asked?_

_ "Promise me you'll look out for Max, no matter what? And you won't let my leaving come between you two? I hurt her, bad, and she's gonna need someone..." His voice trailed off and he shut his eyes. Opening them again he stared at me. "Promise me." _

_ "You're leaving! What the hell! Alec, tell me what's going on!"_

_"Just promise me, Biggs. I need to know someone's looking out for her." his face was serious._

_"I _ said_ ok! Dammit, Alec! What's going on!" I was really worried and his evasive answers were making me crazy._

_ "I can't talk about this now. I have to go. I'll call you when I get wherever it is I'm going." he walked toward the door but he looked over his shoulder before exiting the apartment. "Thanks, man. I owe you."_

_I watched him in shock as he disappeared._

"Alec asked me to look out for you, Max. And the way he said it...it's like he knew he wasn't coming back. Maxie, look at me. Tell me what happened. Please? I need to understand." I reached for her hand. I meant it to be a comforting gesture but she flinched at the contact.

She stared at our hands and refused to meet my eyes. I prodded gently. "I know he somehow hurt Ben. But why did Alec say you'd never forgive him, that he'd never forgive himself? It's not like he killed him."

Max recoiled as if physically slammed by my statement. The look of horror on her face, her reaction, Alec's regret...it was all coming together. But I had to be sure.

"What happened up there, Max?"

She burst into tears, guilt and shame clear on her face. Her voice was small and wavering. "They fought. Alec kicked Ben and he...he...he -" she shuddered and took a deep breath, expelling it slowly. "He fell of the Needle. We tried to save him, but he fell. And Alec," she stopped to look up at me, "thinks he killed Ben. I thought he killed Ben. And I told him I never wanted to see him again. That he was poison." Those last words came out a whisper.

"Oh, Maxie! I -" I couldn't speak. I understood what she was feeling but at the same time hated what she'd done. This was my best friend we were talking about.

"And the worst part, Biggs? He doesn't know that Ben's alive." Max was trembling. She looked so lost.

I slipped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Max went limp and she leaned into me. I bent to kiss her hair and whisper soothing words. Both my friends were hurting and I was at a loss of what to do.

Max twisted to look up at me. Her eyes were red and watery, but thankfully she was no longer crying. "Walk with me?" she asked softly. I nodded and pulled her gently up with me.

* * *

My arm still around her shoulder, we walked down the hallways of the Medical building, ignoring the curious and worried faces of everyone we passed. I glanced at Max beside me. I could see her blank face and hollow eyes and I heard the rapid, harsh breaths coming from her.

Coming to a standstill just outside the door to the operating theater, Max took a look at the people gathered there and growled angrily. "What are you standing here for? Let me through." There were murmurs of protest and a few of the guys tried to keep her for getting past them. "What's going on! Beat it! Get out of my way!" she yelled, clawing her way through the throng of concerned transgenics.

Tanner spoke low in my ear. "Ben's crashing. They're only trying to help her." I nodded mutely and reached for Max, but she shook me off, she had finally gotten through. The crowd parted silently and reluctantly and I followed her into the room. Taking in the scene, I squeezed Max's shoulder though she seemed oblivious to my presence, being completely preoccupied by what was happening.

"I'm here if you need me, Maxie. I'll be waiting right outside." I kissed her temple and turned around, stepping from the room and closing the door behind me.

I slid down the wall and settled in to wait. Only time would tell what would happen next.

* * *

MAX

I pushed past the crowd by the door and stepped into the room. The sight that greeted me was like a physical blow. My beautiful brother was fighting for his life, his body jerking and shaking as Mel and Kat and the others struggled to stabilize him. I don't know how long I stood there, watching as they prodded and poked him, working tirelessly to save his life.

My eyes were glued to the scene before me. The flurried movement of hands swapping medical equipment back and forth, the faint buzz of machinery, the hum of the heart monitor, hushed conversation between the nurses and doctors. The clink of metal against metal as various instruments were used and replaced, the thump of Ben's body as the defibrillator sent volts of electricity through his bruised frame.

I shouldn't have been there. I knew it and they knew I knew it. But there was no way I was leaving the room until Ben was ok. And the others knew better than to push me. And so I stood and waited.

I watched and waited and held my breath as Kat cut into him again. The sounds coming from other end of the room were deafening to my ears. I had locked out everything else, my entire focus on my brother and his fight for survival. I didn't know how much more Ben could take. He'd already had surgery just hours before and his body and immune system were weak. Come back to me, Ben. You have to come back, I can't lose you again!

It was ages before Kat stepped back, hands slick with the lifeblood of my brother. She wiped her wrist across her forehead, leaving a thin trail of blood in it's wake. The sight and smell of it made me dizzy and I let out a deep breath as the room started spinning.

Turning to me quickly, Mel grabbed my arm with one hand and placed another on the small of my back to steady me. She spoke softly. "Easy, Max, I've got you." She led me over to a chair someone had thoughtfully placed by Ben's bed and I sat down heavily. "We've managed to stabilize him. But it's gonna be touch and go, Max. Why don't you sit with him?" she said sadly. The look in her eyes told me what I dreaded.

I could hear the hushed voices of the medical team from the far side of the room as they cleaned themselves up. Though I wanted to be alone with Ben, knowing they were there was reassuring.

Reaching out I took his hand, mindful of the tubes and probes attached to his chest and arms. Ben's pale face was peaceful now. The bruises were fading and the cuts were almost gone. I kept a hold on his hand and pressed it to my cheek. He was unconscious and I didn't know if he could hear me or not, but I spoke softly to him, reminiscing about the few happy childhood memories we had shared. I told him about my life, my friends. I talked for hours until my throat was sore and my voice was hoarse. But still I talked.

"When I first met Alec, I thought he was you." I said, closing my eyes tightly as I recalled Alec swaggering into my cell in Manticore.

"He was paired with me as my breeding partner." I laughed lightly. "The thought of touching him...well, it it scared me. But it excited me too, I'll admit." I smiled gently down at my brother and whispered. "If you tell him that, soon as you're up and at it again I'll kick your ass."

I reached out to stroke his cheek when his eyes fluttered open and those beautiful hazel eyes stared up at me.

"Ben! You're awake!" I leaned over to hug him and he weakly lifted his right arm and wrapped it around my waist.

I pulled back to look at him. I couldn't hold back the tears of joy that were falling from my eyes.

"I heard that, Maxie." He rasped my name weakly and smiled. "Don't kid yourself, little sister. I could whoop your ass anytime."

I smiled broadly. "I'll hold you to that! Soon as you're better. Ben, You're gonna be ok. You'll be good as new in no time." I stroked his hair. Ben raised his arm and gripped my wrist, and I looked at him in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, Maxie. I crashed into your life again bringing more trouble." he said faintly.

"Don't ever say that! You're alive. That's all that matters!" I laid my head gently on his shoulder. I needed to feel him close. I never wanted to let him go again. "You're gonna be just fine."

Ben gently pushed me off him. "Look at me, Max."

I stared into his eyes. They were serious and sad. "Don't blame Alec, Maxie. It wasn't his fault. _This_ wasn't his fault."

I just continued to stare. Despite our having been apart for half our lives, my brother knew me too well. I did hold Alec responsible for Ben's injuries.

"I let go, Maxie. We were both slipping. _ I chose to let go." _ Tears were now streaming down my face. I knew instinctively that Ben was telling the truth. He wasn't just trying to put things right. And I gasped as the implications of his words set in. _ He'd let go to save_ _Alec_.

Ben reached up to stroke my cheek. "I'm glad I got to see you again before I die."

I closed my eyes tightly and hugged him close. "You're not gonna die!"

"It's too late, Maxie. And we both know it." He pulled back to look at me. "Promise me something?"

"Anything." I sobbed. I'd give Ben the moon if I could.

"Find him, Maxie. Find Alec. You two belong together. Promise me, please?" His sad eyes pleaded with me, begging me.

"I promise." I whispered. And I would. I'd find Alec no matter how long it took. And then I'd apologize to the man I loved and hope he'd forgive me.

"Tell Alec I'm sorry." he wheezed, his breathing shallow and fast.

"No! You'll tell him yourself! We'll find him, we'll -" he interrupted me with a finger to my lips.

Ben whispered painfully and between gasps for air. "No time, Maxie. I love you. Remember, I'll always love you." He inhaled...

Ben's hand dropped from my lips and his eyes rolled back in his head as the monitor by his bed flatlined.

"Nooooooooooooo!"

TBC

**Part Twenty-Two **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	22. Believing

**Part 22 - Believing**

BIGGS

I had been waiting for hours outside the operating room. I'd spent most of that time thinking about Alec, Ben and Max. It was a sad triangle. Family, friends, love, misunderstandings and pain. As much as I want a family of my own, sometimes I'm thankful that I don't have any. Alec cared for Ben as much as he wanted to hurt him, that was evident. I don't think I would have been able to deal with the situation had I been in his place. Alec was definitely a better man than I'd ever be.

I picked up my cell phone and dialled.

"Hey. You've reached Alec. You know what to do." His answering machine beeped and I started to speak.

"Alec! Biggs. We're in TC and you're never gonna believe this but - "

The piercing shriek coming from behind the door made my heart race. Max! I dropped the phone and rushed inside just in time to catch her as she fainted. I stepped away from the bed bringing her with me, cradled in my arms, her head on my shoulder.

I watched in a daze as the medical team tried to revive Ben. It was no use. Nothing seemed to be working. Max's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at me, confusion and fear in her eyes. I just held her tight.

"It's gonna be ok, Maxie. I'm here. Shhhhh."

She shut her eyes again, as if to ward of the pain of death. I took one last look at Ben's still form and letting out a deep sigh, I turned and carried Max out of the room.

The medical team exited the room shortly after, closing the door behind them. Preparations had to be made for the body and no one wanted to be in the presence of the dead any longer than necessary. Everyone scattered to their respective destinations.

I shifted Max's weight in my arms. She wasn't heavy, but in her state she wasn't helping by resting heavily on my left arm. We entered the Command area when Max finally spoke up. "Biggs?" her voice was a bare whisper and I had to strain to hear her over the noise of Terminal City. It was late morning and the transgenic population was hard at work.

"What is it Maxie?" I asked softly as I kissed her forehead. I glanced around the room, spotting Tanner and Steve over by the comms center with Dix. I looked back down at her though still preoccupied with my own thoughts.

"I promised Ben..." She faltered briefly, took a deep breath and continued. "I need to find Alec." Her eyes were full of tears but her voice held resolution and determination.

"We will, Maxie. We will." She sighed and snuggled closer. I held tight, wanting nothing more than to take her suffering and carry it for her. I motioned to Steve and Tanner to follow me. They fell in step some distance behind.

Still holding Max, who was sobbing quietly against my chest, I walked purposefully out of the building. I was taking her to my TC quarters. Max hated showing weakness and I knew instinctively she would want to be alone, lick her wounds in private. As much as I wanted to stay with her, I knew I had to find Alec. And That's where Tanner and Steve came in. I wanted them to keep an eye on her.

I opened the door to my apartment and carried Max into my room and laid her gently on the bed. I bent down to stroke her hair.

"Get some rest, Maxie. I'll get some of the guys and go look for Alec." I tucked the quilt around her shoulders and she turned over to face away from me. Looking at her for a moment I sighed, saddened and concerned, and left the room closing the door softly behind me.

* * *

Meanwhile...

The room was silent and cold. Instruments and machinery had been left haphazardly around the room as the staff left in haste. And the previous hum of activity had subsided.

The quiet was broken by a quiet 'blip' as the heart monitor came to life again.

And the once still chest rose and fell in time with the faint 'thump thump' of a resilient, X5 heart beating out a rhythm in the empty room.

* * *

MAX

It hurt. It hurt so bad. How many times could I lose the same man, how long would it hurt? Why torture me like this? What did I do to deserve so much pain?

I wanted to sit and cry, give in and indulge myself, to wallow in self-pity and anger. But I'd made a promise to Ben on his deathbed and I meant to keep it. I was going to find Alec.

I knew that Biggs meant well, and was only looking out for my best interests. Which is why I allowed him to take me home and tuck me into bed. I would wait until he left before sneaking out.

I lay on my bed waiting as the seconds ticked by. Finally, Biggs left the room and closed the door.

I waited a few minutes longer to be sure. I threw back the covers and climbed out of bed, padding softly to the window. I pried it open and slid out, dropping onto the ledge a few feet below. I turned, and noting to my satisfaction that the street beneath me was empty, I jumped, landing in a crouch. I made my way silently down the street and out of Terminal City.

I ran practically all the way to Logan's. I knew he was my best bet at finding Alec. His resources would be invaluable. 20 minutes later I found myself standing in front of Logan's door.

I knocked sharply. The whirring of his exoskeleton preceded him and I readied myself to speak to the man I had dumped not 2 weeks before.

The door opened and Logan's surprised and happy face smiled at me. "Max!" He said, pleasure evident in the greeting.

"Hey. I need a favor." I said as I pushed by him and entered the penthouse. Something seemed out of place but I couldn't put my finger on it. The apartment smelled different, musky with a hint of spice, like cinnamon. I looked at Logan curiously. "You been cooking?"

He looked at me strangely. "No. Why?"

I shrugged. "No real reason. Place smells different is all."

Logan fidgeted a bit, stared at me for a minute and then asked, "So, what can I do for you Max?"

"Alec left Seattle and I need to find him. Can you help?" I left out the important bits; like I had been the one to tell him to leave and that once a transgenic decides he doesn't want to be found it's practically impossible to trace him. No need for Logan to know that. Logan didn't need to know any of my personal life anymore.

"Is he in trouble?" Logan's voice sounded concerned and I wondered if he actually cared. I knew I'd hurt him and I could understand if he was reluctant to help me.

"Not that I know of. But he didn't tell me where he was going and he didn't take backup. I want to send a team after him, have someone there to watch his back." I lied smoothly. It would sound more realistic if I pretended I didn't trust Alec on his own. I never had in the past and Logan knew it.

I was uneasy about the way Logan was eyeing me with a look that, if I didn't know him better, I'd think was sly satisfaction. It was creepy. Maybe I was just suspicious because I knew that if I were in his place I wouldn't want to help me.

"What's really going on, Max?" he asked in a low, coaxing voice. A voice that had always worked on me in the past, made me come undone and confess my fears.

Logan's eyes were caring and worried. I let down my defences. "Alec and I had a fight. And he left. I need to find him."

"Is that all that's bothering you, Max? I know you better than that. Something's wrong. Tell me." His voice was pleading and soft, comforting even. "You haven't looked this sad since Ben died last year."

I whipped my head up in shock and anger. How could he be so cruel and thoughtless as to remind me of Ben? Then it hit me. He didn't know Ben had been revived and had only just died again. I took a deep breath.

"It's been a rough week." I said lamely.

Logan prodded gently. "Come on Max, this is me you're talking to. You can tell me anything." I felt a flash of gratitude for this man. He'd been there for me so many times. And so I told him.

He leaned back against the doorframe, his face seemed shocked and his eyes were sad. "Syl and Krit, and then Ben? Wow. I'm really sorry, Max. I wish I could have been there for you." I didn't remember when I had last heard him sound so sincere. It made me remember what I had fallen in love with in the first place. And it made me happy to know he was still my friend despite all that had happened between us.

Logan removed his glasses and breathed on them, fogging the lenses. He then used his sleeve to wipe them clean and replaced them on the bridge of his nose. He looked at me long and hard before replying. "Did you ever consider Alec left because he might feel guilty about something, Max?"

I cocked my head and flashed him a confused look. "What do you mean?"

He looked regretful and sad as he pointed to the couch and motioned for me to sit down. I sank into the plush softness and leaned back. Logan took a seat opposite me and clasped his hands before him, staring at them intently for a long moment. He raised his eyes and locked on mine.

"I have a confession," he started and I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. "No, Max. I have to say this. It all makes sense now." He shook his head in wonder and stared at his hands.

"What is it Logan?" I asked, worry creeping into my voice. Logan looked almost...pained.

"I knew about your fight last week. I tried to call you because I had some intel. Turns out an old buddy of mine found out about two transgenics in Sacramento." He glanced up at me for a moment and then lowered his gaze again. I was sitting, shell-shocked. Did Logan mean what I thought he meant?

"I had my suspicions. So I did a little digging. And came to the conclusion that it was indeed Krit and Syl. When I tried to get in touch with you, I kept getting your answering machine. So I called Alec."

He looked at me remorsefully. "I told him what I learned. And Alec said you could take care of yourself and your own. He didn't have time to talk or 'listen to my crap' I believe his exact words were."

I leapt from my place on the couch and started pacing. It couldn't be true. Alec would never keep something like that from me. He wouldn't hurt me like that. Even if we weren't talking. He knew how important my family was to me. And that's when I spotted his jacket. The musky, spicy scent now made perfect sense. It smelled like Alec.

What the hell was Alec's jacket doing in Logan's apartment? I was about to confront Logan when he opened his mouth and continued to speak words I refused to believe. I was trying hard to get my head around it. Logan had been lying from the minute I came in the door. What a sneaky bastard! I clenched my fists at my side. Logan seemed ignorant of my outrage smouldering beneath the surface.

"It's true, Max. I'm sorry I had to be the one to break it to you. Alec can't be trusted. I've always known he's only been looking out for number one, Max. He's been using you. He doesn't know you like I do; he'll never love you like I do." I couldn't do anything but stare in awe and disgust at the man I _used_ to love slandering the man I _do_ love. The one who means more to me than anything.

"Alec kept this from you, Max. He knew where Krit and Syl were and that White was on to them. He kept it from you."

At that very moment a low, angry growl and a roar of rage ripped throughout the room. "You conniving, manipulative son-of-a-bitch!" Alec blurred into the room and lunged at Logan. "I trusted you, you lying bastard!"

I looked between the two and knew instinctively that Alec would never do anything like that. Not to me, not to anyone. And Logan's true colors shone through, bright and clear. He was trying to make Alec out to be the bad guy. I'd done it enough myself and it had to stop.

I stepped forward and forcibly pulled Alec from Logan. He stood back, panting, seething with rage and growling low in his throat. I turned to him and in a slightly playful voice I cooed, "Down boy. You'll get your chance." Alec's head whipped round to look at me warily. I smiled encouragingly. His bewildered face almost made me laugh.

My tone was level as I turned back to Logan, my body tightly coiled as I fought to control the urge to pound him into the ground. I didn't want to kill the man and any touch would infect him. I kept my distance but my words dripped venom.

"Alec would never do anything like that. He loves me. And I love him. Yes, I admit it finally. And nothing you say will ever make me change my mind. You've always hated him and now it's painfully clear why. You're jealous, Logan. You're a sad, pathetic excuse for a man." Logan's mouth dropped open and he stared in shock.

I took a tentative step towards Alec and whispered. "I love you, Alec. And I'm not afraid to say it."

He looked deep into my eyes and still unsure, voiced the question that was obviously bothering him. "You don't believe him?" he tilted his head indicating at Logan.

I looked away, flushing with guilt. "What do you think, Alec?" It was his turn to look away. I was filled with remorse as I thought about how I'd never given him reason to think I trusted him. I'd treated Alec so badly in the past. It was time to make amends.

I thought of the ways I could show him and decided to do something Alec would never expect. It was also about time I admit to myself that Logan was a lying bastard only looking out for himself. I smiled evilly at Alec. "I think Logan needs to learn not to fuck with transgenics. You wanna do the honors?"

A genuine smile lit up his beautiful face and he smirked and retorted, "Skewered or shredded?" I just laughed.

Alec proceeded to knock Logan out and I couldn't help but watch in awe at the sheer power of the perfect X5 male before me and the weak Ordinary he was teaching a lesson to. Alec stepped back, surveyed the damage and wiped his hands on his pants.

He was smiling smugly as he turned to face me. Then the smile slipped from his face and a serious air settled around him.

I reached out and wrapped my arms around his neck. Staring him deeply in the eyes I leaned forward and kissed him.

* * *

ALEC

She kissed me. I didn't think anything could shock me more. The night before she'd screamed at me, telling me to get out of her life for good, and here she was now, kissing me and telling me she believed me. I was a little lost to say the least.

I pulled back and looked at the woman I loved beyond reason. "What's going on Maxie?"

A blush crept up her neck and over her face and she looked away when she answered. "I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Please stay." Her words were a whisper, but heartfelt and sincere.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and whispered into her hair. "I tried to leave but I couldn't. Do you really want me to stay?"

She clutched at me and sighed. "Always."

The shrill ringing of my cell phone shattered the moment. I let Max go reluctantly and answered. Would I _ever_ get a moment with Max where we weren't interrupted? I sighed.

"Alec here." Pause. "Be right there." I snapped my phone shut and gripped Max's shoulder.

"That was Biggs. He said there's a situation at Terminal City. We need to go, _now_." She just nodded at me and walked out of the apartment without looking back. I grabbed my jacket and took off after her. Let Logan lie in his blood and filth. It served the rat-bastard right.

TBC

**Part Twenty-Three **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	23. Reconciliation

**Part 23 - Reconciliation**

ALEC

Glancing sideways at Max as we made our way down the busy street, I noticed she seemed peaceful. It wasn't something I'd expected, considering the events of the past couple of days. Having finally admitted our feelings; something I was still reeling from, meeting up with Ben again...but I couldn't think about Ben right now; that guilt had to be buried deep inside where it wouldn't resurface until I was on my own. For the first time since I could remember, I didn't trust myself with my feelings. My emotions were unfamiliar territory. I'd been there once before, but it had ripped me apart from the inside, and I didn't care to take that road again. I could only imagine what Max had gone through that whole year; the guilt she had carried around, unable to tell anyone the truth. I'd been suffering less than 24 hours. I wasn't sure how long I could take it.

We hadn't spoken two words to each other since we'd left Logan's apartment. But I was never one to keep my mouth shut for long. I needed to know what it was that made her change her mind. Now was probably not the best time to bring it up, but I just had to know.

"Max?"

She turned to me with questioning eyes.

"Why did you go to see Logan? I thought you two were over." Okay, so that wasn't really what I wanted to know but it was a conversation opener. I waited for what seemed like an eternity before she answered.

"I was looking for you." she replied simply.

I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Why?"

Again with the silence. Talking to Max was like pulling teeth. Okay, not a good visual. More Ben guilt. Will this ever get any easier? It has to, right?

"Max, tell me? Why were you looking for me?" I was practically begging. But I had to know why. "I thought you wanted me gone." I added bitterly.

"Goddammit Alec! Do we have to have this conversation now? Here?" That was the Max I knew. A fireball.

I halted mid-stride and reached out a hand to stop her. I looked deep into her eyes and pleaded.

"Max."

She sighed. "I really don't want to do this here. Can't it wait until we get to Terminal City?" She sounded weary and worried.

"There will be other things to deal with when we get there. Just tell me why you went looking for me." I couldn't let this go.

Max reached up to cup my cheek gently. That simple caress meant so much. I was still shocked at the transformation. Max had been so hurt, so hateful, so unforgiving last night. It was in total contrast to her acceptance of and belief in me today.

"Because I had to say I'm sorry, that I don't blame you. And that I need you. Is that what you're looking for?" she said evenly.

"Is that what you really mean?" I asked quietly. Could she? Did she?

Max dropped her hand and looked away briefly and I knew inside that it couldn't be true. But then why would she play my emotions like this? And how could she bear to pretend not to hate me? I killed Ben. It's not something she would gloss over and let go.

When Max's gaze returned to me I wasn't surprised to see tears in her eyes. But what did surprise me were her words.

"He told me." If she'd spoken any quieter I wouldn't have caught it.

"Who told you? Told you what?" I pulled back a bit. I was very confused.

"Ben. Before he died he told me it wasn't your fault."

Okay, this had to be a sick dream. The powers that be were tormenting me, punishing me for causing my brother's death. Unless...

"Right. You talk to ghosts. I get it. Okay, pinch me now? I'd like to wake up." I managed a short laugh as I looked straight ahead and started walking again.

Max was staring at my back; I could feel her eyes boring holes in my spine. Then suddenly she was by my side again, matching me stride for stride as we neared Terminal City.

She reached out and gripped my arm, turning me to face her. "Alec, Ben died in Terminal City this morning."

I looked up at her in disbelief, my eyes blinking rapidly, breath coming in gasps. He hadn't died immediately? If I'd stayed I could have spoken to him before... It was a sick joke. A sick dream. But the look in her eyes was too honest, her voice too sincere to for her to be lying.

"But what about the Needle? I thought..." My words faded as Max shook her head gently. Ben, no, - his body - was in Terminal City. I still had a chance to apologize, to say goodbye.

I spun on my heel and ran for the City entrance leaving Max to stare after me once again. I had to see my brother. I had to see Ben.

* * *

MAX

I ran after him but still fell far behind. Alec blurred like a man possessed. And I guessed in a way he was. I'd just dropped a bombshell on him. I could only imagine what he was thinking and feeling. And I wished I could do something to ease the hurt. I'd been there. The guilt, the self-recriminations; they never went away. I should know, I wrote the book.

I entered Terminal City to see the majority of the transgenics outside looking off into the distance. I followed their gazes and glimpsed Alec's back as he turned the corner near the Medical building. I caught sight of Biggs and Jake as they started after him.

"Biggs! Jake! Wait up!" I called to them, huffing slightly. I was still tired out and the extra exertion wasn't helping my aching limbs.

"Max, I see you found Alec." Jake's sarcastic comment cut through my thoughts.

I glared at him. "I wanted to wait until we got back here." They both looked at my quizzically. I glanced at Biggs. "The situation. It was Ben, wasn't it?" He nodded mutely. His mouth was open and it looked like he wanted to tell me something but for the life of him couldn't get it out.

"Biggs, is something wrong?" I asked in concern. I couldn't imagine anything worse than my brother being dead, but the look on Biggs' face had me worried.

Jake answered for him. "I think you should see for yourself, Max. Come on." He dragged me after him, Biggs close behind, running his hands through his hair distractedly.

I whispered to Jake. "What's with him?"

Jake just repeated his previous words. "You have to see for yourself." The two of them were acting funny and I hadn't a clue as to why.

We entered the Medical building and stopped outside of the operating room. Now I was _really_ confused. Wouldn't they have moved Ben's body by now?

I opened the door slowly and what I saw will be forever etched in my mind as the most heart-wrenching, shocking and beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I'm sure Biggs and Jake would echo that sentiment, Manticore training be damned.

Alec hunched over Ben's body, clutching him tightly and crying - that was heart-wrenching. But the shocking and beautiful part? Ben was hugging him back.

TBC

**Part Twenty-Four **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	24. New Beginnings

**Part 24 - New Beginnings**

MAX

As much as I wanted to sit in on the little reunion, I knew it wasn't my place right now. I reached out to pull Biggs and Jake with me out of the room.

Turning to Biggs, I could see his face still suffused with shock and wonder. I was sure my face reflected the same. But I couldn't stop smiling. I was bursting with happiness inside. Intruding on such a private moment made me feel a bit guilty, but seeing Ben connecting with Alec, creating a bond that meant so much to him, was too intensely beautiful to make me feel uncomfortable for long.

"Biggs, Jake, what say we all go grab a bite? I haven't eaten anything since yesterday." I rubbed my stomach to prove my point and it reacted in time, rumbling audibly.

Jake laughed and nodded. "Sounds good to me. I hear Joshua and Jumbo are on lunch rotation. Mac 'n cheese with baby hot dogs anyone?"

I fell over my own feet laughing as we made our way down the corridors. Sobering from his little stupor, Biggs ran to catch up with us.

"So, you think everything's cool between them?" he asked, tipping his head, gesturing backward in the direction of the room we had just left.

"Looks like things will work out." I smiled broadly. It did seem that way. We'd all seen a side to Alec that he rarely showed anyone so I wasn't surprised at the confusion Biggs was displaying. Emotions were something Manticore had taught its soldiers how to suppress, not show, analyze or control.

We entered Mess Hall and took our places in line, cueing for lunch. Jake was telling jokes, Biggs was laughing and I was smiling. We were back to some semblance of normalcy in our lives. All was right in the world, for the time being at least.

"Little Fella!" My grin grew even wider, if possible, as Joshua came out from behind the counter to envelop me in a big hug.

"I missed you, Big Fella!" I hugged him back. "Joshua, a little air please! You don't know your own strength, big guy!"

He let me go and returned to his place behind the counter. "Jumbo made Mac 'n Cheese with little hot dogs, just like Joshua used to make." He slopped a huge helping onto all our plates. Joshua then leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. "The secret's in the sauce." He said with a smile as he winked at us.

Biggs looked up at Joshua, perplexed. "Josh, I thought you made Mac 'n Cheese from a box, man."

Joshua turned up his nose and huffed. "Whenever they say it on television, people laugh."

Jake picked up his tray and brought it to his nose. Inhaling deeply, he stuck a finger into the food and brought it to his lips and sucked on it thoughtfully for a minute. Then he reached out to pat Joshua on the shoulder. "That's right, Josh. The secret's most _definitely_ in the sauce. This is the, um, most um, interesting Mac 'n Cheese I ever tasted!" Joshua beamed with pride.

I looked at him in confusion, as did Biggs. Jake shook his head slightly. Thanking Joshua for lunch we walked over to the nearest table and sat down.

I addressed Jake. "What the hell was that all about?"

He rolled his eyes and said quietly. "Eat whatever you can manage. Then we'll hit the local Diner, my treat."

I looked at him quizzically and he sighed. "Josh was obviously proud of lunch. Jumbo did something to the sauce, believe me; it tastes like he added sugar instead of salt or something! I didn't wanna hurt his feelings, so...trust me. Just eat what you can and then lets get out of here."

I tucked into my meal and had to agree with Jake. The sauce was awful! I chewed carefully, swallowing as much as was humanly possible. While the others did the same I turned my thoughts to the near future. I sighed just thinking we all had to go back to work the next day. It was going to be hard enough to convince Normal to take me back. After all, I'd just upped and left when I felt like it, no explanations offered. I could only hope Alec would be able to fix things.

Alec. That brought me back to the present. As much as I wanted to join Jake and Biggs at the Diner, I knew I had to stay close. When Alec was finished with Ben he and I had to have a little talk.

"Jake, do you think you guys could bring some food back for me and Alec?"

He nodded. "You sure you don't wanna come?"

"I think I should wait here." I replied quietly.

Biggs jabbed Jake in the side. Jake threw his hands up, a look of 'What did I do?' clearly written on his face. Biggs spoke to me, still looking at Jake. "Give us a ring when you're ready to eat. I'll drop it off later."

He squeezed my shoulder gently as he and Jake rose to leave. I smiled gratefully. Biggs seemed to know what I meant without me having to explain. It was a relief not having to go into details. Alec and I had to talk; we wouldn't be able to move forward until I apologized. I knew it and Biggs knew it. It was time to make things right.

* * *

BEN

I watched his back as my brother left the room. The powers that be must have something in store for me; I'd been brought back from the brink of death too many times to think otherwise.

I was still somewhat in shock. I'd opened my eyes to find Alec holding on to me for dear life. His repeated cries of _"I'm so sorry, Ben"_ and _"Thank god you're alive"_ were shocking enough. But the words that I'd longed to hear and never thought would ever leave his lips were the ones that touched me deeper than anything I've ever known.

I closed my eyes as I remembered his admission. _"It wasn't your fault. I know that and I don't hate you, Ben. I tried to, but I don't hate you."_ I had looked up at him and hugged him tight. I had family. _Real_ family. And no way would I screw that up. I would do anything I could to stay here with Alec and Max. Somehow I knew - it's where I belonged.

I opened my eyes and looked around. The doctor and nurse were talking quietly on the other side of the room. The pretty redheaded one walked over to the side of my bed and adjusted the drip. As she bent over to straighten my sheet, I reached out to grip her hand.

"You're Mel, right?" I asked, smiling up at her. She was beautiful. Wavy auburn hair, lovely green eyes, high cheekbones and full lips. The sprinkling of freckles across her nose and the smile she flashed me gave her an impish look. I was entranced.

"Yeah, that's me. So you're Alec's twin. Gave us all a bit of a shock when you came in here." She continued to pat down my sheet and reached behind my head to plump the pillow.

"Hey, I'm not completely unable to look after myself, you know." I batted at her hand in mock-annoyance.

"Not at all, pretty boy. You almost died a few times, nothing too terrible." Her laughing smile lit her eyes and they sparkled. I'd never been drawn to a woman like this before.

"So, how did you get your name?" Could I have been more lame? What was wrong with me?

Mel's face took on a wistful look. Then she shook her head slightly and a soft smile graced her lips again. "It's short for Melody."

"That's beautiful." I sighed in reply.

"Not quite." I looked at her in confusion. She continued somewhat reluctantly. "It was how I was trained in Manticore. I wasn't a nurse back there."

I continued to stare. Trained? What did she mean by that?

"It was a Psy-Ops gig. I would sing to calm the subjects down. When they were relaxed enough, the Psy-Ops team would dig in and party. I'm not proud of it." She turned away abruptly. I grabbed her arm and she spun around, eyes wide and wet with tears.

"We all did things we regret, Mel. It's not easy owning up to our mistakes and its even harder to believe we can move on and make up for them. All we can do is try. And you look like you're doing fine." I smiled gently. I liked this woman, more than I thought possible. She intrigued me.

She leaned over me and whispered in my ear. "So you think anyone can start over? Make up for their mistakes?" Her breath was hot on my cheek. My breathing hitched a bit before I turned to answer her.

Tilting my head slightly, I found my lips millimetres from Mel's. In a low, husky voice I replied. "I do. With everything I've done I fight just to open my eyes each day. But family and _friends_ make it worth trying." My emphasis was on friends as I looked deep in her eyes. Something was making my heart constrict. I'd never felt like this before.

The strange moment upon us both, Mel's lips met mine fleetingly. My world shattered, fragments of my past and future colliding. And I knew. I would make up for my mistakes. Life had too much to offer.

TBC

**Part Twenty-Five **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	25. Quiet Before the Storm

_**A/N:** The NC-17 version of this chapter can be found at NWP under the penname jracklesfan77 (Shana)._

_

* * *

_**Part 25 - Quiet Before the Storm**

ALEC

When I left Ben's room a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Things weren't perfect but I'd taken the first step in forgiving my brother by admitting I didn't hate him. It was more than that; I knew I cared about him but it wasn't exactly something I was going to confess.

I left Medical with a smile on my lips. It would take time, but things would work out. I knew Ben and I would be okay. Now that I'd had a chance to talk to Ben, I had to speak to Max. The way I'd left her earlier was a bit abrupt to say the least.

I wandered into Command and saw the concerned looks of my fellow transgenics. I smiled at them all and waved to the few who stopped to say hello. I stepped to the center of the room and cleared my throat. All eyes were on me as I spoke.

"I take it you all know about my brother. Ben's gonna be fine. It's all good." There were audible sighs of relief from those who knew about my conflict with Ben earlier. "Anyone seen Max?"

Dix looked up from the comms station. "Biggs let her crash at his place."

I took a deep breath. That Max was at Biggs' apartment didn't mean anything. She said she loved me and I believed her. Then why was I so upset? Because she's my girl, dammit! I left command and went to find Max.

I opened the door without knocking. I needn't have bothered. The apartment was empty. Max and I didn't have apartments in Terminal City. I had no idea where she might be. I pulled out my cell and flipped it open.

"Hey. It's me," I said softly.

Her voice carried over the line and I could almost hear her smile. "Hey, yourself."

"Where are you?" I heard wind blowing in my ear. She was outside somewhere.

"The roof of the old warehouse."

"Meet me at my place? I wanna talk to you. Somewhere private." I bit my lip waiting for her to respond.

"But Ben - "

"He's resting. We can come back and see him later. Please, Max?" The things I wanted to say to her would be best said away from the sharp ears of everyone in Terminal City. Besides, even if we did find someplace to talk here, the walls were so thin that anyone could hear through them. It explained a lot of knowing looks in the mornings.

"Fine. I'll be there soon as I can."

* * *

I arrived back at my apartment thoroughly exhausted. I kicked off my shoes and socks and propped my feet up on the coffee table as I leaned back on the couch. I kept an eye on the time, waiting for Max to show. 

It had been a good hour since I called her and I was starting to worry that maybe something had gone wrong when suddenly the door opened and I looked up to see Max standing in the entrance, her hair windblown and cheeks flushed from the cold.

"You want a drink?" I asked solicitously as I got up from the couch and padded barefoot across the room to the kitchen. She just stood there. I turned around to look at her. "Maxie?" I was concerned. Max hadn't moved an inch.

She raised her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. I walked over to her and gathered her into a hug, shutting the door with my foot. "Shhh, Maxie. Everything's ok." She just held on to me, not uttering a word. I'd never seen Max like this before and I wasn't sure how to deal with her. I walked us over to the couch and pulled her into my lap.

"Alec? What do you see in me?" I was a bit taken aback by her question. I decided to reply in tried and true fashion.

I grinned. "A whiny, annoying, self-involved - OW!" I pulled back sharply and rubbed my side where Max had just elbowed me. At least she wasn't moping any more. I pushed her off my lap to gain a little distance before opening my mouth again.

"I know the truth hurts, Maxie, but it's not supposed to hurt _me_." This time I managed to dodge the fist that came my way.

"Do you always have to be such an ass?" she hissed as she shook with anger.

"Come on, Maxie! You know you love it!" With my trademark smirk firmly in place, I added. "Hey, I was kidding, Max. Sometimes it's just too much fun pissing you off."

She jumped up from the couch and I reached out and grabbed her arm before she could move away.

My eyes and tone were serious as I pulled her toward me, her legs between my knees. "Come on, Max. Don't do this. We've dodged each other enough lately."

Max avoided my eyes. "Alec, I hope you know-"

I reached a hand up to cup her cheek. "I do."

"I mean I never meant-"

"I know, Maxie." I pulled her down against me so she was straddling my thigh.

She looked up at me, eyes shimmering with tears. Her voice shook with uncertainty and she spoke so quietly it was barely a whisper. "Do you think you can forgive me?"

I took her hands in mine and pulled them to my chest. Holding them tightly with my left hand, I reached up to run my right hand through her hair, coming around to cup her chin. I brushed my thumb across her lower lip. "There's nothing to forgive, Maxie. Just promise me one thing." I stared deeply into her eyes. "Promise me we'll talk before we run?" I caught her look of confusion. "We're bound to argue, Max. It's how we work." I smiled gently. "As long as we can talk to each other instead of just running away, we'll be fine. Look where running got us. Wasted time and a lot of misunderstandings."

I shook my head, somewhat surprised at myself. Communication was never my strong point. I was better at charming a girl into bed than I was at deep conversations. But Max wasn't just any girl. She was my girl. And damn if I was gonna let her get away again. If this was what it took...

Max smiled shyly. "So, talk huh?" I nodded. Her lips curled as her smile changed from shy to seductive. "I'll think about it. For now," she whispered into my ear as she pressed against my chest and reached down to the waistband of my jeans, "I have other things in mind." I inhaled sharply as she found me and my erection strained against her hand.

Max's lips attacked mine and carrying on any coherent conversation became impossible. Not that I minded. I was losing myself to this hellcat, and enjoying every second of it. I was going to make Max mine come hell or high water. I stood, her legs secured tightly around me, and reached into my pocket with one hand and flipped my phone off. I tossed it behind me not caring where it landed. Nothing and no one was going to interrupt this moment.

We stumbled backward into my bedroom.

* * *

_(Sorry folks! NC-17 scene edited out due to restrictions. Omitted scene can be found on Nuns With Pens under the authorship of jracklesfan77)_

* * *

MAX 

When I woke it was dark out. The only sound in the room was the rhythmic beating of Alec's heart and his breath fanning on the back of my neck. I had never felt so peaceful before. That I had taken so long to realize I was in love with him still haunted me. What if I'd have been too late? But never mind those thoughts. He was mine and I meant to enjoy every inch of him as often as possible. I purred in contentment and Alec stirred behind me.

Alec's arm tightened around my waist as he pulled me closer. I could get used to this. Hell, I planned to. I twisted in his embrace and turned to face the man I loved. Alec's eyelashes were long and rested softly against his cheeks, his full lips were curled in a slight smile. I wondered what he was dreaming about. That is, until I heard him whisper my name. I smiled and pressed my face into his chest, inhaling the musky male scent that was purely Alec. I closed my eyes once again, content just to lie in his arms as long as possible. We would have to get back to TC soon enough.

Not long after, Alec opened his eyes and stretched.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey, Maxie." He smiled as he ran a finger down my arm. "You're incredible, you know that?"

I blushed as I smiled back up at him. I never blush! "You're not so bad yourself." And boy, was that ever an understatement. The man had every right to brag.

Alec pulled me on top of him and I laid my head on his chest. After a while I looked up to ask him a question but the thought flew from my mind when my eyes lit on something strange.

"Alec? What the hell is that!"

TBC

**Part Twenty-Six **

Please review! Fuel for the fire…


	26. Hidden Messages

**Part 26 - Hidden Messages**

A/N: A great big thank you to Natacup82, SGOU and HisVampira for input, suggestions and surrogate beta work! 

MAX

Alec looked at me in puzzlement. "What the hell is what?"

I pointed at what looked like tattoos, resting directly over his heart, the black lines standing out in deep contrast on his golden skin. "This!"

He glanced down at his chest, staring intently at the markings. He raised his eyes and I saw them widen in confusion.

"I have _no_ idea." Alec stared blankly ahead, lips pursed. "It's creepy."

"No shit, Sherlock." I traced my fingers over the outlines of the symbols. "What do you think they are?"

"No clue. But we're going to find out. Call ahead to Dix and tell him we're coming in. Tell him to set up a meeting with the division heads for tonight. I'm gonna go take a shower." Alec leapt out of bed and strode purposefully into the bathroom. I looked after him, frustrated. All I wanted to do was follow him, but I knew the mystery of these strange marks wouldn't solve itself.

I dialed the number for TC command. "Max?" Dix's voice carried over the line. He sounded worried. "Is something wrong?"

I hurried to reassure him. "Nothing's wrong, not exactly. Alec and I have to show you something important. We're gonna need you to do a little research. Oh, and can you set up a meeting for tonight? Division leaders and anyone else of importance."

"Sure thing, Max. I'll get right on it." Dix put his hand over the receiver and I heard muffled sounds coming from his end. "Max? Mel wants a word."

The phone switched hands. "Hey Mel," I said softly. "How's Ben doing?"

"Much better than anyone anticipated. Ben's recovering nicely, Max. He's asking for you." Mel's voice held a tinge of affection when she spoke my brother's name. I smiled at the thought of my brother and the petite, redheaded nurse.

"Tell him we'll be back soon. I have to go. Talk to you later." I hung up the phone and went in search of my clothes.

* * *

ALEC

I stepped under the hot spray and felt my muscles slowly relax. The past week had been hard on everyone. My god, only one week. It seemed like forever. So much had happened in such a short span of time that I was still reeling. Max leaving, Biggs following, killing White. _Okay, so that was one of the highlights of the week. _And then there were the issues with Ben.

And it had just been looking up! I thought of Max. I'd finally found the happiness I'd been looking for. Even when I closed my eyes I could remember the silkiness of her soft hair, her velvety skin, her lips warm and pliant beneath mine. Even the sweet sound of her mewling in my ears.

I smiled ruefully as I felt myself harden again, just thinking of her. All I wanted was to crawl back into bed, wrap my arms around Max and forget all the shit that life had thrown my way. Why did this have to happen now of all times?

Just what I needed. More crap to ruin my week. These weird ass symbols came out of nowhere. What am I, a human canvas? And where _did_ they come from? How?

I hurriedly finished my shower. The sooner I showed Dix my new body-art, the sooner we'd have answers.

* * *

MAX

I had almost finished dressing and was pulling on one of Alec's tees (since he'd shredded mine), when he exited the steam-filled bathroom clad in a towel. My eyes flitted up to his chest and I saw that more markings had materialized in the short time he'd been gone. He caught my eye.

"There's more of them, Maxie. They keep coming. It's like etch-a-sketch, only I cant shake myself to make them disappear. It's freaking me out!" he ran a shaky hand through his wet hair, making it stand all spiky and unkempt.

I couldn't recall ever having seen Alec so distressed. Maybe it was because he felt safe enough to open up to me. And knowing he was comfortable enough to let me see his weaknesses made me feel content. I crossed the room and slipped my arms around his neck, pressing my face into his shoulder. He held me close.

"We'll figure this out, Alec." I pulled back slightly to look at him. His worry shone out from beneath heavy lidded eyes, the dark circles there reminding me of how exhausted he was. The past few days had taken a toll on all of us. The latest turn of events was just one more annoyance he didn't need.

I leaned in and kissed him lightly. Alec had other things in mind as he deepened the kiss, pulling me hard against his chest. I moaned into the kiss as he devoured my mouth, lips and tongues melding.

He pushed me back onto the bed. My blood began to boil again, like it did whenever he touched me. I knew that as much as I wanted this, now was not the time. I put my hands on his chest and rolled him off me. The disappointment in his eyes and the pouting, puppy-dog look tempted me but I held my resolve.

"Alec, we can't." He sighed in resignation, running a hand through his hair in a gesture I'd come to love, and got up from the bed. I continued. "You should get dressed. Dix is expecting us."

He nodded and bent to retrieve his pants. I watched his well toned and perfectly sculpted body as he pulled them on and reached for his t-shirt. _Damn symbols. Not enough time with him. __Would any amount of time ever be enough?_

Wordlessly, he stretched out and took my hand in his. I followed silently after him, both of us deep in thought as we made out way downstairs and out of the building to our bikes.

* * *

BIGGS

Jake and I entered our apartment carrying bags of food. I'd promised Max I'd bring back enough for her and Alec. Jake went a little overboard with the ordering and the bags were overflowing. I chuckled, thinking that Max and Alec might well be hungry enough to eat it all if they'd gotten past the apologies and..._Don't go there. Mental images unwelcome!_

I turned to Jake. "Hey man, let me get my wallet. I owe ya for lunch."

"Biggs, I told you it was on me. Don't sweat it, buddy." he waved me off and started unloading the food.

"Thanks." I picked my bag off the floor and settled down on the couch. Opening it, I began unpacking the ammo Max and I had taken from the Familiars a few days back. With everything that had been going on, I hadn't had a chance to do that yet.

My hand closed around a wooden object. "What the hell?" I gasped, as I pulled it loose. Jake whirled in surprise, dropping a container of soup on the floor and letting out a sharp cry of pain.

"Goddammit! Fuck! That's hot!" he grabbed for a towel and began to wipe the soup that had splashed on his shirt and pants.

Jake covered in pea soup was a funny sight. I couldn't help myself; I laughed. "Sorry, Jake. Did I scare ya?"

He glared at me and muttered. "I hope _that_," he pointed at the object in my hands, "is important."

I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the cylindrical wooden piece in my hands. "I think it is." I looked up at Jake, my expression serious. "We stole this from the Familiars back in Olympia. They were using it in some weird cult ritual. It could be important; any knowledge of those damn loonies is important."

Jake rubbed his cheek absentmindedly as he regarded me thoughtfully. "Sounds like something we oughtta show the others."

I nodded. "My thoughts exactly. But we'll have to wait until Max and Alec get back."

Just then the door opened and Steve and Tanner walked in. "We're needed in Command in fifteen. Alec called a meeting," Tanner announced as he sat down heavily on the armchair.

"At this hour?" Jake asked, surprised.

Tanner shrugged. "Said it was an emergency." I looked at my watch. It was after 10. _This is gonna be a late night._

Steve sauntered over and sat down next to me on the couch. He pointed at the wooden tube in my hand. "What's that?"

"This?" I said, waving the scroll, " I have no idea. But I have the feeling Dix might. And tonight's meeting will be the perfect time to show him." I looked around the room at my friends. "So, what are we waiting for?"

* * *

Meanwhile across town

Reagan Ronald, known outside the circle of the Cult as 'Normal', turned to his superior in confusion. "So the rumors were true. There really _are_ mutant freaks that look like normal people, look human? I don't understand, Sir. Who are they and why were they made?"

Matt looked at him in annoyance. "As for the who - we have the identities of a few of them. We'll circulate their pictures at the end of the meeting."

Addressing the entire group he continued. "The transgenic scum were originally created by Manticore. They were meant to be the perfect weapon. Hybrid soldiers with abilities greater than our own. But I happen to know a hidden reason for their existence."

Matt faced the crowd and increased the level of his voice so it would carry to all corners of the room. "The transgenic army started in Petri dishes. Ames White's father was the scientist behind the abomination." There was a collective gasp and murmurs rippled throughout the chamber. Someone called out in question, "Albert Sandeman?"

Matt continued. "Yes. Years ago, Sandeman vowed to thwart 'The Coming'. He broke away from the Conclave and came up with a plan to ruin us.

"For years we have been taught that the Old Seers mapped out our destiny. We have scrolls thousands of years old which describe 'The Coming'; an event that will wipe out the weak and inferior human race. And this end will only come if we find and keep the ' Messenger' from revealing our secret to humankind.

"Ames and I recently came across a codex in Sandeman's safe. The book gives reference to a message that will somehow be presented in time, before 'The Coming'. We had James decipher it for us. James?"

A young man of indeterminable origin stepped forward and cleared his throat. "The symbols in the book were similar to those of our Minoan ancestors. It didn't take long to translate. In short, it says: ''The ' Messenger' shall bring word of great evil." It goes on to say that "The unblemished one, born of a union unsanctioned, shall expose thee." There are also hints to other passages but we don't have the texts. Finally the last of the symbols translate to mean, "Have faith, ye of the lower dominion, for salvation shall be yours."

Matt addressed the crowd once again. " Ames, and now I, have come to believe that Sandeman encoded this message into the DNA sequencing of two or more transgenics and then created an army to protect them. It is imperative that we _wipe them out_. Let no trace be left of them! Nothing must stop our ascension! Domination will be ours with 'The Coming'! We will prevail!"

The crowd cheered wildly. Meetings such as this were always rallied. The leader would work the crowd into a frenzy before leaving them with directives; it kept them keen. Matt took this opportunity to pass out pictures and sketches.

"These are known transgenics operating and living within Seattle. If you come across any of them you are to alert the Conclave immediately. Fe'nos Tol."

"Fe'nos Tol." echoed around him as he turned and left the room. A thoroughly shell-shocked group of Familiars were left to mull over his words.

Normal looked down at the picture that had been handed to him and gasped. "What the fire truck's this!"

TBC

**Part Twenty-Seven **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	27. Exposed

**Part 27 - Exposed**

ALEC

The meeting was coming to an end.

"So there ya have it. I've become living, breathing canvas. Dix," I said, meeting my friend's eager eyes, "you think you can figure these out?"

He nodded. "I'll get on it right away."

Glancing around the table, I looked at the division leaders. "Does anyone else have anything to contribute?"

Biggs stood up slowly. "Yeah, I do."

All attention was now focused on my friend as he handed me a tubular object. "What's this?"

He cleared his throat and shrugged apologetically. "With everything that's happened in the past few days, I didn't get a chance to unload my bag. I'd completely forgotten about this. I stole it after Max and I had our little confrontation with White and his goons."

I unrolled the parchment and spread it out before me. The writing looked familiar. I exchanged a glance with Dix and he nodded. "Well, Biggs, looks like we hit the jackpot." He looked up at me quizzically. "The scroll uses the same symbols that now decorate this once-perfect body of mine. How the hell am I suppose to explain these to the ladies anyhow?" I said with a cheeky smile.

Max's fist connected with my shoulder painfully. "What the hell was that for, Maxie?"

Her focus solely on me, she smiled sweetly. "I never did learn to share, _sweetheart._" Her remark wasn't lost on anyone and as a collective snickering tittered from one end of the room to the other, her eyes opened wide in realization and she shut her mouth, crossing her arms over her chest, red-faced and scowling like the Max I knew and loved.

I bent and brushed my lips across Max's ear. "Can I make it up to you later?" I whispered huskily.

Unable to hold back her reaction, Max shivered lightly. "I'll take that into consideration, pretty-boy," she purred back.

With a wide, satisfied smile on my face, I looked at the others and clapped a hand down on the table. "Okay people, you know what to do. Dix, Luke; whatever you can scrounge up on those symbols, do it. Let me know when you're on to something. Once we know more, we can figure this out. Kat, Mel; you mentioned blood work. I don't like it, but if it will shed some light on this insanity, I'm in. I'll meet you in the infirmary in a little while. I'll see the rest of you in the morning."

I turned to Max. She looked so stressed. _If it would take away even a bit of your pain, Maxie, I'd do anything._ "Max, can I see you outside?" When she smiled up at me, I took her hand in mine and led her out of the room.

* * *

BIGGS

When Alec and Max came back into Command, I rolled my eyes. Max's hair was tussled and her face was flushed. She was leaning into Alec, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his face plastered with a cat-got-the-canary smile.

"We need to get you guys a room here," I grinned, calling across the room to my friends. "Knowing Mole, the two of you were caught on camera doing the nasty!"

Max's face darkened and her fist shot out and caught Alec square in the stomach. Watching my friend double over, I had to admit that this time I thought he deserved it. Being caught having sex on the roof? Even I knew better.

When they made their way over, I laid my hand gently on Max's shoulder. "Mel's been looking for you."

She glanced worriedly up at Alec, communicating silently with her eyes. He nodded and she hurried off, leaving the two of us alone.

Shaking my head, I clapped Alec on the back. "Damn. Wish I had something like that," I said wistfully.

Alec smirked. "Biggs, my man, when it happens to you I hope it's not quite as crazy as it was for me!" I chuckled at his comment, agreeing silently. He'd been through hell and back to get Max.

"So, any news from Dix and the others?"

I shook my head. "They haven't moved since the meeting let out. Don't worry, buddy, he'll figure it out."

As if on cue, Dix shouted for Alec. "I think we've got something!"

We hurried to his side. "What is it, Dix?" Alec asked eagerly, leaning over the smaller man's shoulder and peering at the computer monitor. It displayed the symbols Dix had downloaded from the digital camera, the photos having been taken by Max before the meeting.

"Well, I've figured out the origin of the symbols. They're ancient Minoan. The language is pretty much extinct, but the Familiars use it for their rituals. Which, by the way, are the same as the text in the Familiar scroll." Dix looked up at me and smiled. "Thanks to you, we may have a clue as to what the link is between the cult and Alec's new body art."

"So what do they mean?" Alec pointed to the few symbols that Dix had begun to translate.

Dix frowned. "So far I've got 'messenger' and what I think means 'war'. I wish I had more information, but I can't seem to get very far. I know that Max mentioned Logan has some files on the cult. Maybe if I had access to them I could tell you more. Until I've had a chance to research and translate everything I won't know."

"Can't you just hack into his system?" I asked. Dix was our computer expert. I didn't see why getting Logan's files was such a problem.

Dix pursed his lips. "Well, I've already tried. But the files don't seem to be on his computer. He may have them saved to disk."

Alec growled in response. "Damn Ordinary. Leave it to Logan to keep vital info lying around for anyone to come and take it."

When Alec looked at me, I knew what he was going to suggest. In my mind I'd already put together a crew for the job. I held my hand up and stopped him before he could speak.

"I'll go with Jake, Tanner and Steve. We'll get what we need, however it needs to be done." I saw Alec's eyes narrow and I added quickly, "Don't worry, we won't kill him." _Though god only knows the man is a liability to us all._ But Alec knew that as well as I did. The only one who seemed blind to the fact was Max.

I turned to leave when I felt a hand on my arm. I looked back over my shoulder. "Alec?"

He smiled. "Just...Thanks, man. I owe ya one."

I grinned at him. "After all the times you've saved my ass? I hardly think so. Besides, what are friends for?"

* * *

MAX

I entered Med Bay, thoughts swirling in my mind. _Is Ben okay? Is there some problem? Something Mel didn't want to pass on through other people?_ I was worried, and I knew it was reflected on my face. I stopped, inhaled deeply and wiped my face clear of any telltale signs of distress. I was once again in control.

I knocked on the door to the nurses' station. "Mel?" I called out. The room was empty. I stepped inside and looked around. Like most of the transgenics, I hated hospitals. Med Bay was more homey, Kat and Mel had tried to make the infirmary less intimidating and sterile so as not to bring back painful memories of times past when we'd suffered in a similar environment. There were potted plants and bright flowers all around. The walls were painted in soft colors. And instruments not in use were hidden away from view. It was comforting, almost.

"Max?"

I looked up as I heard my name. "Hey, Mel," I smiled at the petite redhead. Her delicate face radiated a serenity I wished I could attain.

"Take a seat," she said, pointing to a chair by the desk. I sat down facing her.

"Max, I was hoping you could help me out. I don't know much about Ben or his history. Nothing since the...escape," she began tentatively. "While you were gone this afternoon, he started seizing. We thought it was a typical episode - like the other X5s - but he became...violent."

When Mel's eyes met mine, I smiled gently. "I was unlucky enough to see him like that only once before. He explained it to me afterwards. Mel, there's a lot you don't know about Ben. He's had some really bad experiences on the outside."

Mel flushed slightly. "I've heard him. He has nightmares." Her voice fell to a whisper. "What happened to him, Max?"

I shook my head. "I think Ben is the only one who should tell you that. It's...personal. But as for the seizures, he's been on medication. Stelazine, I think."

Mel cocked her head to one side. "That's Trifluoperazine, an antipsychotic. What am I dealing with here, Max?" she asked apprehensively. I knew her question wasn't medically related. She wanted to know what to expect of Ben - if she should allow herself to get closer to him.

"Give him a chance, Mel. I don't think he's had many friends over the years. He needs to feel safe enough to open up." The wise words of a good friend from the week before resurfaced in my mind. _ Just be his friend._ Biggs couldn't possibly know just how right he was. "Just be his friend," I heard myself say, echoing the voice. Her reply sent shivers down my spine. She repeated, almost word-for-word, my own answer to the same comment.

"I think I want to be more than that, Max. I don't know what it is, but something about your brother is...magnetic."

I laughed. "I think it's in the genes. I feel the same way about Alec." She looked surprised at my admission. I was a bit surprised myself, but why hide it? Word traveled fast in Terminal City and it was no secret that Alec and I were now together.

She stood suddenly and rummaged around in the cabinets behind her desk. After some time she turned to me. "I'll bring the pills in later. Kat must have moved them. Why don't you go see Ben? He's been asking for you all day."

I rose quickly and walked towards the door. "Thanks, Mel. For everything."

* * *

BEN

I knew. The minute she entered the room, I knew that Max was here for more than just a visit. She still wanted answers. Answers to the many questions that had formed in her mind since she first found out I was killing all those months ago. I could smell her fear; was she scared I'd snap at the memories? I could sense her hesitation and the underlying scent of anger.

"You're still angry at me, aren't you Maxie."

She stopped mid-stride and looked at me in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Maxie! I've always been able to read you. It's one of the reasons you and I were always so close, remember? Besides, it's one of the things I developed over the years; heightened senses. I can _smell_ it on you, Max. Fear, hesitation, anger." I motioned to the chair by my bed. "Don't worry, I won't bite."

She inched closer and gingerly sat beside my bed. "Can you sense love, Ben? Surely you haven't forgotten what that's like."

I chuckled, reaching for her hand and taking it in mine. "I never doubted your love, Maxie. It's the one thing Manticore couldn't take from us."

* * *

MEL

Standing just outside the room, peering in through the crack, I overheard Ben's words. _"I never doubted your love, Maxie. It's the one thing Manticore couldn't take from us."_ Was Ben saying what I thought he was saying? I stepped back, almost afraid to hear any more. But I couldn't seem to shake the thought. _Is there more going on between them? Something that Alec doesn't know? Something I should know?_ And so I stood eavesdropping, the tiniest flicker of guilt settling over me. I shook it off and leaned in to hear Max's reply.

* * *

BEN

Max nodded. "Our unit was special. From talking to the other X5s, I've learned that after the escape the units weren't allowed to socialize like ours did. Deck got one thing right by keeping us close. I would have broken after the escape if I didn't have you guys to think about. I used to-"

I cut her off. I knew where she was going with this. "You used to pretend, didn't you? Make up jobs for the others? Imaginary lives? I did that too. I thought maybe Johnny would have been an-"

"Architect," we both said in unison. I was ecstatic. Max and I were still on the same wavelength. It was as if nothing had changed. _Yeah right, hotshot. Everything is different. _Nothing_ is the same anymore. _But I smiled as Max ruffled my hair and I batted her arm away. "Stop messing with the hair, Maxie! You never did that when we were kids; it's annoying!"

She snorted at me. "Duh. You didn't _have_ hair when we were kids. Neither did I."

I reached up to run my fingers through her hair. It was long, and luxuriously silky. "Did a good job on you, Max. You turned out okay."

She caught my hand, tears flooding her eyes. "Zack said the same exact thing," she whispered.

"Where is he, Maxie? Where are the others?" I asked softly. I hadn't seen them for over a year. Not since Zack had changed the contact number and forbidden me from contacting anyone. _Right after he found out what you were up to._ My face was grim, and I briefly tightened my hold on Max's hair before she pulled away and stared at me with slightly fearful eyes.

Her distrust was evident and I sighed audibly. "You don't trust me, do you?"

When she didn't reply I smiled sadly. "I didn't expect you to, Max. Not after everything I've done. And especially now - after Alec."

* * *

MEL

I'd heard rumors about Ben. He'd been wild - crazy, some said. But to see Max's discomfort around him frightened me. What was worrying her? Her body language gave her fear away.

_What did you do, Ben? Why is your own 'sister' scared of you? And what did you mean by your last comment - after Alec, what?_

TBC

**Part Twenty-Eight **

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	28. Can't Any of You Stay Dead?

**Part 28 - Can't Any of You Stay Dead?**

**A/N: Huge thanks to Iz and Michelle for their invaluable help**

LOGAN

Tossing and turning in bed and wrapped in a delicious dream...

_She looks so beautiful, sitting on my lap, her face bathed in the golden flicker of candlelight. I reach out to stroke her cheek, still in awe that my bare flesh can finally caress hers. There is no virus, no Alec, nothing to keep us apart. _

_ As I gently touch her skin, her eyes close. "Look at me, Max. I want you to see what you do to me," I moan gently as she pushes me onto my back along the length of the couch. This time my eyes shut at the sensations. I feel her climbing up my chest, straddling me. Her hands sliding up my arms, then brushing through my hair and down my neck to my throat and -_

I opened my eyes in shock. Her hold was vise-like; I was rendered helpless by a single hand to my throat. I tried to speak, and she relaxed her grip slightly, her feral grin growing as she watched me gasp for air.

"You're dead!" I rasped, eyes bulging, my entire body shaking beneath her. I was pinned by two strong thighs.

She just laughed at my reaction. "Hey! Save me some pizza! When I'm done with this jackass, I'll be hungry," she called over her shoulder. Staring intently at me, trapped under her small form, her eyes narrowed. "We've been watching your place for days. Zack never trusted you; we shouldn't have either. We witnessed that little show of yours earlier - you're quite the actor, Logan. But you hurt Max; hurt our little sister. Don't you know by now that X5s aren't so forgiving?"

She began to squeeze and little white and black dots flashed before my eyes. I was losing focus, losing my grip on consciousness, when suddenly her fist connected with my nose, light flashed and then darkness.

* * *

BIGGS

Jake, Steve, Tanner and myself crept stealthily through the quiet streets. When we reached Fogle Towers, we split up. Jake and Tanner headed for the roof - they would drop from the skylight. Steve and I opted for picking the front door lock.

We made our way up the stairs. The elevator would make unnecessary noise, a surefire means to alert Logan to our presence. This was meant to be a quick and simple B&E, though we all hoped for a chance to pay Logan our 'respects'.

Inching the door open, we stopped to listen for hints of movement in the apartment. It was our first time in Logan's place. Not sensing anything out of the ordinary, or anything indicating threat, I motioned for Steve to follow and we made our way silently down the hallway. I stopped short, signaling to Steve to stay back. Something wasn't right.

I saw a black boot peeking out beyond the entrance to the kitchen. A boot that looked a lot like Jake's; the little specks of pea soup from earlier still spattered the material. _Shit. Who the hell could take down an X5 but another X5...or a Familiar?_ Steve caught my eyes, communicating with hand signals that he was going to check it out. I nodded and edged down the hall towards the bedrooms.

Logan's bedroom door was open. I stared dumbfounded at his bloodied face and neck, a purple handprint standing in garish contrast on his pale skin.

I barely had time to register that the handprint was a small one before a figure in black vaulted into the air, legs aimed at my head. It took me a second, but I knew what was happening; two slender legs were about to wrap around my neck - the ultimate goal to crush and snap my neck in mid-air. Despite my moment's hesitation, I was ready for it. I grabbed at the form hurtling toward me, holding the slender waist, and I flipped the figure face-down, legs flailing overhead, my attacker's face between my knees.

I was about to roll us, to pin my attacker to the ground when the most painful sting tore at me, overtaking my entire body at once. I looked down in awe at the impish face and long blonde hair whipping about. Her grin was the last thing I saw before I succumbed to the mind-numbing pain her head butt to my crotch had elicited. Then my world went black.

* * *

When I awoke I was stretched out on the couch, my hands and legs secured tightly with wire and my groin still throbbing painfully. Jake, Tanner and Steve were similarly bound on the floor beside me. I looked up into the most startling pair of sparkling brown eyes I'd ever seen.

"You!" I exclaimed, straining against the wires and thumping my legs in frustration. I recognized her from before. _She's the one who..._attacked_ me. _"What the hell is going on and why the fuck are we tied up?"

A trill of laughter filled the room and the impish blonde I'd encountered earlier grinned first at her companion and then down at me.

"I couldn't exactly have left you like I dropped you, now could I?" she replied matter-of-factly. "You're X series. Open your eyes, assess threat and attack before you get the whole story? Wasn't gonna let _that_ happen."

I kept my face blank until she came over and knelt beside me. "No point trying to deny it; seen the barcode, babe. Dead giveaway. That and your stealth skills. Commendable performance by the way, but not quite up to par."

Her companion, a dark haired man who resembled Max almost like two drops of water, came in from the kitchen carrying a slice of pizza in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other.

My eyes narrowed at the insult to my skills. " Who are you?" I sent them both an accusatory look.

"Old..._friends_...of Logan's," she sneered.

"I take it you don't like the guy much," I grinned back at her. "Welcome to the club."

"Hey, can we finish this already? There's nothing on TV and I'm bored." Her dark haired counterpart took a swig from the bottle, followed by a big bite of cold pizza. My stomach rumbled as I lay watching the food disappear.

"Sit your scrawny ass down and shut up," she retorted. "I need to think."

"You're X series too," I stated. The guy looked too much like Max for it to be a coincidence. They had to be Manticore.

She nodded. "Explains a lot," I muttered.

We fell into silence. Jake, Tanner and Steve had yet to say a thing about the events of the evening. I knew they were smarting as I was; embarrassed at having been caught unawares. We were lucky these two were transgenics.

I pulled myself into a sitting position and glanced around the apartment, noticing the open bathroom door on the opposite side of the room. The light was on and glaring brightly. I gasped and then bit the inside of my cheek to still the laughter threatening to bubble up and out of my throat.

Logan was handcuffed to a thick pipe over his bathtub. From his position, his toes barely brushed the bottom of the tub. His face was a dark mess of bruises and dried blood, his nose was broken, there was a deep gash over his left eye and he was out cold.

"Why is he in the bath?" Jake asked suddenly. All eyes were on the bathroom, taking in the scene.

The male, Max look-alike chuckled. "Doesn't it make sense to chain him up somewhere we can clean up easy? We don't leave any clues behind this way."

"Clues?" Steve shot a look of confusion at him.

"Yeah. Killing him, cleaning up after the mess and disposal of the body will be a lot easier this way."

"And you're killing him..._why_?" I had no idea why they were here or what they wanted with Logan. How were they connected to Eyes Only?

"Fuckwit had it coming. No one hurts our little sister and gets away with it." The blonde entered the room, a bowl of pasta and what smelled like mushroom cream sauce in her hand. She chewed thoughtfully a moment before adding. "Logan left her for dead, let her get taken by the enemy. That constitutes traitor in my book.. Besides, he's screwing up her love life."

"What do you mean?" Jake inquired.

"A little slow on the uptake aren't you?" Steve teased. Before he could say anything further, the girl continued.

"This morning Logan was acting like a dick. It was about that guy; I think she said his name was Alec. Logan lied and told her Alec kept secrets from her, that he was only looking out for number one, yada yada. It's so old. Typical jealous, male Ordinary trying to take down the opposition with deceit. What happened to good old fist-fighting?"

Her words registered in my brain. _No one hurts our little sister and gets away with it._ This had to be one of Max's old unit.

"So that means you're an 09- from Maxie's unit?" I amended, looking at the slim blonde.

She snorted. "Is that what they call us? 09'ers?" She let out a giggle and turned to the dark haired man. "Y'hear that, Krit? We're like a vintage, pre-Pulse wine: classic, unique."

Max viewed the label as an insult but apparently her 'sister' thought she was in a class of her own. Interesting. I wondered if all of Max's unit were so full of themselves.

The girl must have caught the look in my eye and she dismissed me with a smirk and a wave of the hand. "Nothing wrong with being sure of yourself, now is there?" She looked me up and down and I felt like a horse on display at auction, her eyes searching and appraising. I sat up straighter without even thinking.

Her lips curled into a grin and she extended her hand. "I'm Syl."

I stretched and took her hand in both of mine; her grip strong and sure, yet soft and warm. Tingles worked their way up my arm in a most inviting way. "Biggs," I grinned back.

Glancing down below my waist she smirked and giggled. "Oh, yes you are." I blushed, remembering exactly how she came to be aware of that fact. As our eyes met, she winked.

"Now that we're acquainted, is there any chance at getting the circulation flowing in my hands and feet?" I held out my wrists, twisting my face into a puppy-dog pout for good measure. She ignored me.

"Did you say 'Syl'?" I asked, the name triggering a memory from not so long ago: a sobbing Max, her face buried in my shirt, _'Krit and Syl. Two of my siblings. White killed them.' _

"Yeah," she replied with a shrug. "Why?"

I stared hard wondering if my confusion was a lingering side-effect from her attack on me earlier. "Sacramento Syl and Krit?"

Krit looked at me as if I'd grown a second head. "Yeah, man, what of it?"

I thudded back against the couch and slid my eyes closed tightly.

"Biggs, what's wrong?" Jake asked worriedly.

After a few moments of silence I sat up and opened my eyes to meet Syl's questioning ones. "I'll be damned," I whistled, shaking my head in wonder. "Max thinks you're dead."

Krit smirked. "Yeah, we figured. Perks of eavesdropping." His face took on a thoughtful expression and his eyes grew serious. "How's my little sister's mental health after this rollercoaster week?"

Jake piped up. "Lots better now that Ben's okay and she and Alec have patched things up."

"Ben's really alive?" Syl asked, voice shaking, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. Jake, Steve and Tanner shot me hard looks. They were still upset about what had happened between Ben and Alec. It would take time for them to come 'round, even if Alec already had. I was glad Syl and Krit didn't see their faces.

I smiled softly. "Yeah. He went through hell, but he's okay now."

"Soon as we figure this bitch out we'll go see them, okay sweetheart?" Krit whispered, pulling Syl into a hug and she burrowed into his chest. The look in his eye was both determined and sad. And it hit me. _Son of a bitch. They're a couple! Why the hell was she flirting with me?_

"Why were you breaking in here anyway?" she asked finally.

"Trying to get some info off Logie's computer. Alec sent us."

Syl reached into her pocket, removed a wire cutter and clipped my binds without a word. She then turned and freed the others as well.

"Hop to it. Get what you need. We'll burn the rest afterwards." With a nod of thanks, Steve scuttled off to the computer to download the files.

Syl walked around the room picking up various items and placing them in duffel bags. Krit was doing the same.

"You guys are ripping off Eyes Only?"

She shrugged. "He's got good stuff. We could fence most of this shit for a fortune; set up house in the Caribbean and live it up for years. Sure as hell beats Seattle."

Krit was rummaging through the cupboards lining the living room wall and muttering curses, every so often snorting and laughing out loud.

"Hey Syl, check this out! Maxie was dating the king of pervs!" He tossed her a video tape which she caught without even looking.

She glanced down at the picture and title, sniggering, and then flipped it over to read the synopsis.

"_I don't want to know_. Throw this with the rest of the shit we don't want," she said, pointing to a pile. "What is it with men and their fascination with porn?"

Tanner laughed suddenly. "You should ask Biggs; he gets more action on screen than in real life." I shot him an angry glare but a soft hand gripped my chin and turned my head. I was face to face with Syl, her brown eyes mocking and playful.

"What?" she started, gaze flicking over me, causing my body temperature to rise a few notches. "Sexy guy like you can't get any ass? What've you been doing wrong, babe? Or are you one of those guys that are waiting for _'the one'_?" Again she was _flirting_.

Her taunting pissed me off. _What was I doing _wrong"Sweetheart, you untie me now and I'll show you _exactly _what I'm capable of - and I assure you - you _won't _be disappointed. For the record, with me it's not quantity that counts, it's quality. Unlike with _some people I know,_ who'll screw any female with a pulse."

Our eyes met and she looked away. I wasn't quite sure why, but I was disappointed.

Jake, Tanner and I followed Syl to the bathroom. She called back over her shoulder.

"Krit, honey, gimme your pocketknife, will ya?" He crossed the room and leaned against the bathroom door frame before tossing it to her. She flicked it open.

"Uh, Syl?" I started. "If you kill him, Max will never forgive you. Trust me, there are plenty of us more than willing to take him out; quite frankly, the only reason we don't is Max."

She eyed me warily and sighed. "When the hell did Maxie grow a conscience? Shit. Okay, Krit? Plan B."

The two 09'ers grinned broadly at one another and before we knew what was happening, Logan was dangling buck-naked from the pipe, his clothes strewn about the floor of the bathroom. Syl reached into her pocket and pulled out a small tube, what looked like a felt pen, blue and silver powder and a pot of sparkly stuff.

"What are you doing?" I asked skeptically.

"Just watch. I always excelled in art." With flourish, she began with painstaking precision to 'paint' Logan's stomach with the things in her hand. The end result was hilariously funny, and our small group broke into fits of laughter.

"Oh my god," Tanner sputtered. "You drew the Eyes Only thing on him! What are you gonna do next, call the cops and report him!"

Krit just smiled, picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello? Yes, I'd like to make an anonymous tip." He paused briefly and nodded. "Well, it's about Eyes Only. His real name is Logan Cale..."

TBC

Please review! Fuel for the fire… 


	29. Second Chances

**Part 29 - Second Chances**

**BEN**

She was staring at the wall behind my head, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Max?"

She blinked rapidly, focusing on my face finally. "What?"

"I'm sorry about Alec. I never meant to hurt him. Or you," I said softly, taking her hand in mine and softly caressing her fingers with my thumb. "I was following orders, Maxie."

"I know. So much has happened in the past few weeks. My fight with Alec, finding Krit and Syl..." her voice broke then and her eyes welled with tears again.

"What happened, Maxie?" I urged gently.

"I went looking for them, for everyone. I found Krit and Syl but they didn't make it," came her broken whisper.

I pulled Max onto my bed and she laid her head on my chest and cried. _We should have stayed,_ I thought again for the millionth time since the escape. _Then maybe we'd still all be together._

"Shhhh, Maxie, we'll find them. We'll be a family again. We'll find Tinga, and Brin, and -" I stopped suddenly when a fresh wave of sobs broke from deep inside of Max, and I pressed my lips to her forehead. "What, Maxie? There's something else you haven't told me, isn't there?"

"I had no way of contacting the others. I didn't know where to find them. Only what Zack told me after he was caught by Manticore last year. But we got word out. Zane, Syl, Krit and Jondy stayed off the radar. Brin came down with Progeria; Manticore got her back and fixed it, but they brainwashed her. We're not sure if she made it out when Manticore blew to hell."

I shut my eyes trying to block out the mental image of Brin caught in a raging inferno. I hugged Max tighter as she continued.

"Tinga got caught and taken to Manticore for testing. Zack and I tried to save her..." the pain and guilt in her eyes cut me to the bone and I knew I'd lost another sister.

"And Zack? What about Zack, Max?" I almost didn't dare ask; I'd lost too many people at once. "Is he...?"

She shook her head. "He's alive. But that's a story for another day."

I didn't push it. Max and I never had secrets before. I knew I could tell her anything and I was sure she knew she could do the same. I bit my lip, blinking back tears and nodded softly.

"No secrets, Ben. We never kept them before - I'm not starting now," she confirmed, stroking my cheek with her small hand. "You're home now; we're gonna be okay. Let's take it one day at a time, alright?"

I looked at her skeptically. She still wasn't completely comfortable with me, and it was understandable After all, I _had_ killed; killed innocent people. I had become a monster - like the Nomlies from the basement - much like Max told me I was all that time ago when she stopped me from killing Father Destry.

"I really have changed, Max. The man in the woods that day? He and I are different people. I'm not killing for the Blue Lady anymore, Maxie. Please don't give up on me; I need you," I whispered into her hair.

"I know, Ben. I won't. _We _won't. Alec will help you too."

We lay together for a while, Max's soft, even breathing was soothing and familiar. _Just like when we were kids, _I thought with a pang. I'd missed so much time.

* * *

**MEL**

I'd heard enough. I couldn't believe I'd thought that Ben and Max were...it was too crazy. I should have remembered all the talk from back at Manticore. Max and Ben's unit had been extremely close - a mistake Manticore never made again with any other unit. It shouldn't surprise me that they acted like siblings. And I envied them.

But the thing I was having trouble wrapping my head around was Ben's confession. The rumors had been _true_.

I remembered my conversation with Ben from earlier.

_"We all did things we regret, Mel. It's not easy owning up to our mistakes and its even harder to believe we can move on and make up for them. All we can do is try._

I had leaned over him, my lips millimeters away from his cheek, so close I could smell the tantalizing, musky scent that was Ben.

_"So you think anyone can start over? Make up for their mistakes?" _

His words were so sincere, so pained and regretful. Now that I thought back, it was hard disbelieve.

_"I do. With everything I've done I fight just to open my eyes each day. But family and friends make it worth trying." _

His insinuation was hesitant and sweet. Everyone _did_ deserve a second chance, and by god, I'd give him one.

* * *

**BIGGS**

Syl and Krit loaded their loot into their car and piled in after it. "Where to?" Krit asked Tanner, who was leaning against his motorcycle waiting for the rest of us.

"Oh, right. Terminal City. It's where we freaks play house. If you have any dreams of grandeur though, you shoulda thought about that before trashing Logan's place. TC is a dump. You'll be lucky to get running water and a bed."

Syl scowled. "The sooner we fence this stuff, the sooner we're out of shitsville. I hate Seattle."

Krit threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him, rubbing his face in her hair. "You hate _everything_, Syllie. C'mon, kitten, give it a chance. We haven't seen Maxie in a long time." She leaned into him and sighed.

Turning away from the sickeningly sweet scene, I glanced up at Logan's apartment. The fire had gone out but the smoke still poured from the living room window.

"Steve? You sure you got all the info we needed? 'Cuz there's no going back now."

Steve nodded. "Yup. Got all the files Alec and Dix want, and after hearing Syl say they were gonna burn everything else, I made sure to download any files on transgenics and Manticore. I also deleted the original files from his system and back-up. Don't sweat it, man, we're cool."

"Good," I replied quickly. Steve was always thorough; I shouldn't have doubted him. "I don't know why I even asked, man. I know you're on top of your game." Steve grinned at me and climbed on his bike. The faint sounds of approaching sirens reminded us that it was time to move.

"Jake, Tanner, take the East entrance just past the sector checkpoint. Ease in past Neville Road and Kirby Street," I called to them as they kick-started their bikes. Directing my next words at Krit, I continued. "Krit, you follow Tanner and Jake, Steve and I will pull up the rear. You're gonna have to ditch the wheels on Kirby. The hidden entrance to TC won't fit a car that size."

"Great," Syl muttered. "First I leave a classy apartment in a sunny city, then I can't even kill the bastard who hurts my family, I get to go live in a dump _AND_ I have to lose the car." Shoving Krit away from her, she glared at him. "Tell me again why I agreed to come with you?"

"'Cuz you can't live without me, kitten," he said, pulling her back to him and rubbing his nose against hers playfully. "Besides, you'd get bored on your own," he added teasingly.

Watching the two of them, I felt more alone than I had in ages. _I can't be jealous of someone I don't know! What the hell is wrong with me?_ "Alright guys, let's move!

* * *

After storing our bikes in an empty garage, we made our way to the Command Center. Steve ran ahead to give Dix the files he needed while Tanner and Jake left to hit Rounders, our TC in-house bar. I promised to meet up with them after taking Krit and Syl to the registration office. 

Opening the door, I found the office empty. _Duh, idiot. Why would Gem and Joshua be here at this hour of the night?_ Sighing, I turned back to the two '09ers and shrugged.

"Looks like we'll have to find you temporary quarters for tonight. Jake and I can bunk down with the others; you take our apartment. We'll sort you guys out in the morning."

Krit nodded his thanks. "We appreciate it."

"As far as I know, Max and Alec should still be in Terminal City. Let's go," I suggested.

Syl looked at me in confusion. "Isn't this where all the transgenics live? Why wouldn't they still be here?"

I chuckled. "Max and Alec both have apartments outside TC. They were in Seattle way ahead of most of us. Come on, let's go see if we can scrounge up our leaders."

I pulled out my cell and hit speed dial.

"Alec? Biggs. Are you with Max?"

"Yeah, why?" came the reply from over my shoulder. I whirled to see Alec standing with his arm around Max's waist. She was leaning against him, head on his shoulder. They both looked exhausted.

"Um, Max?" I started but shut up when Krit blurred past me. He'd spotted Max and bounded across the room, snatching her up and twirling her around.

"Maxie! God, I've missed you!" The excitement and joy in his voice was contageous. Max was staring at him in shock.

"Great going, Krit. Good way to ease her into the idea of your being alive," I muttered. Syl came to stand next to me.

Placing a hand on my arm she leaned in, lips close to my ear. "He never was known as the brains of the family," she said teasingly. "I don't think we'll need a place to crash tonight. Looks like the reunion takes precedence over sleep," she yawned suddenly and I laughed.

"We'll clear out just in case. Just ask one of the others to show you where our quarters are when you're ready."

Her smile was breathtaking. "Thanks, Biggs. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" she added, her words and eyes hopeful.

I regarded her silently for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah. See you then." Syl joined in the reunion and I stared after her, confused at her attentions.

* * *

**MAX**

Alec's phone rang just as we entered Command. I stopped to look around. Dix was hunched over his computer, busily typing away. Biggs was across the room with what looked like two X5s, but I couldn't be sure.

"Um, Max?"

At the sound of Biggs' voice, I looked at him in curiosity. Before I could say anything, the male transgenic at his side blurred across the room and swept me up into his arms. I was shocked, to say the least. But not as shocked as I was when I looked down at him, seeing my brother's face grinning at me.

"Maxie! God, I've missed you!" he said excitedly, dancing around in circles, holding me tight.

"Krit?" I whispered in disbelief.

"It's me, Maxie, I'm here - and I'm not going anywhere," he murmured into my neck.

I clutched at him desperately. _You're alive? Are you real?_ I must have spoken my thoughts aloud, because he set me down and held me at arms length.

"We're real, Maxie," he said quietly, staring deeply into my eyes. I could see he was close to tears.

"We?" I was still having trouble accepting what my eyes were seeing. Focusing on one thing at a time was hard enough. It was as if I were standing in heavy fog and all I could see was Krit.

"Hey, little sister," came a soft, feminine voice. "Remember me?"

I looked over Krit's shoulder to see Syl, brown eyes twinkling, blonde hair falling to one side as she cocked her head and smiled at me. I couldn't remember anyone more beautiful at that moment. I felt wetness on my cheeks. _Soldiers don't cry,_ I thought for a split second but just a quickly rejected the theory. _Tears of joy are not a weakness!_

"Syl? I thought White killed you!" I cried, looking from one to the other as tears ran down my cheeks. I hugged Syl tightly.

"We staged the whole thing. We'll tell you all about it, Maxie."

Alec came over to us, comforting and relaxing me with the touch of his hand to my lower back. "Why don't you go sit somewhere more private. You can have a few drinks, talk," he suggested easily.

"You must be Alec," Krit said, flashing a dazzling smile. "Pleasure to meet you, bro. Why don't you join us?"

Alec raised an eyebrow at the familiarity implied in the nickname but smiled in response. "Krit, huh? Glad to meet you too." He glanced at me looking for a reaction to my brother's invitation.

"You're family now, Alec? We're tight," I said, finally smiling as broad as my siblings, knowing they were safe, that they were here and we were united again.

"You hooked up with our sister, you're stuck with us," Syl said, playfully jabbing Alec in the stomach. "Come on, you've gotta have alcohol _somewhere,_ right? I could use a stiff drink to loosen me up a bit."

Alec laughed. "I think that can be arranged." He winked at me, slipping his arm around my waist. Life was good, almost too good. _I wonder how long it will last. With my luck, the shit will hit the fan all too soon..._

TBC


	30. When Truth Hurts

**Part 30 - When Truth Hurts**

MAX

What little was left of the night was spent in comfortable chatter, sharing jokes and stories of what my siblings had been up to since I'd last seen them. I zoned out more than once, staring at their faces. Syl's hair was long and shone like the golden sun. Her face was soft, serene, her brown eyes twinkled happily. I envied the easygoing familiarity between her and Krit, yet pondered the seeming intimacy of their interactions. It puzzled me.

"Maxie, you okay? Earth to Max," Krit nudged me with his elbow, a grin painting his face. The dim lighting cast soft shadows on his features; it felt like looking at the male version of me, just genuinely happy. Until tonight, I'd almost forgotten how that felt.

I smiled. "Everything's fine. It's great. I just can't believe you're here. I thought I'd lost you for good." I sighed deeply as Krit pulled me against him in a tight hug.

I turned my head to face him and asked finally, "How did you get away from White?"

Krit gently tugged my head down and I rested my cheek against his shoulder. The soothing vibrations from his throat rumbled beneath my ear as he spoke.

"We'd known for days that someone was watching us. Syl snuck in through the bathroom window the night before the shooting. Told me there was a security detail at various points around the building and that we had to leave. We'd been moving the contents of the apartment to a safe house we set up for emergencies. But despite our attempts at covering our tracks, someone saw Syl. We barely made it back out the window and down the drainpipe before they caught up to us. We ditched them in a maze of alleys a few blocks away.

"This White guy is persistent. Everywhere we went his people were there. Syl was hit, I'd started seizing. We were blocks from the hospital but I couldn't walk and Syl was too tired to drag me. Eventually we passed out. When we woke up, we realized we were in the hospital and that it was only a matter of time before someone found us. Syl and I made a run for it, but they shot us down. Hurt like a bitch." Krit smiled wryly and closed his eyes, leaning back against his seat. I shifted to get comfortable again.

Noting his apparent exhaustion, Syl took over. "We had an emergency contingency plan. We pulled a Juliet." I stared at my sister blankly.

"You know, took a drug that makes it look like you're dead? It slowed the heart down enough to fool everyone. Pretty damn clever, if I do say so myself." Syl's lips curved into a satisfied smile and she winked at Krit. He laughed.

"Who's idea was it anyhow? Not yours," he interjected smugly, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge her to deny his words. I glanced from one to the other and shook my head.

"Huh?".

Syl threw up her hands in exasperation. "God, Max, you really should read a little! Or at least rent some pre-Pulse movies for chrissakes! Romeo and Juliet? Ring a bell?"

As it dawned on me, I caught sight of Alec's laughing eyes and wide grin, a look he wiped off his face as I began to scowl. He affected a look of utter innocence that had me change from upset to incredulous to disbelief and finally mirth. '_You are impossible!'_ I mouthed before looking at Syl again.

"Right. Juliet. Got it. So you guys pretended to be dead and escaped. What then?" I wondered aloud.

"We came looking for you. Watched that Eyes Only doofus make a fool out of himself lying to you. We ran into some friends of yours at his place earlier. Biggs, was it? Stopped me from killing the guy. More's the pity." Syl stared at her fingernails, bored. I looked at her, incredulous.

"Almost killed him?" I gasped. "Why?"

Syl and Krit's mouths gaped open in surprise. "He selfishly keeps putting you in danger. Are you completely clueless? Did you really think he loves you, Max? If he really cared about you he wouldn't put you in danger on a daily basis!" Syl retorted sharply.

Faced reddening with anger, I clenched my jaw. Slowly, I replied, choosing my words carefully. "I know he loves me. I may not return the feeling, but I know he loves me. He's passionate about his work, there's nothing wrong with that!"

Syl chuckled dryly. "At the expense of your safety? Gimme a fucking break! You _really _think he loves you! My god, you're blind. Does he love the _real_ you, Max? All of you? The darkness and the light? The animal and the human? Or does he love the _idea_ of you? The beautiful, talented, kick-ass female X5 that he has at his beck and call?"

I lost my temper. It wasn't her words that pissed me off. It was the nagging voice of doubt at the back of my mind that kept telling me _'She's right and you know it'._

_"How dare you question his motives!_" I spat out, my voice rising with each word. "You don't know anything about it! You've never loved an Ordinary. You don't know how he feels!"

Krit placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me lightly. "Neither do you, Max. That's just the problem," he said quietly.

I sagged a little, both in submission and disappointment. He was right. They both were. And the many times Alec had said things of a similar vein came rushing back. Suddenly, a disconcerting thought came to mind. I looked up into my brother's eyes and calmly asked,

"What did you do to him?"

Krit and Syl exchanged a wary glance. "Humiliated him some, tied him up naked and left him for the cops. Looted his place, stole his computer files and burned the equipment. Removed all traces of us and transgenics in general from his hard drive and files."

My eyes narrowed to angry slits, and I faced Alec angrily. "So you sent Biggs out with a team, to what? Get files from Logan? Did you plan this? I can't believe you!"

Alec gripped my wrists tightly and gave me a hard look. "Yes, I sent Biggs and a few others to get the files off Logan's computer. I want you safe, Max. And I don't trust Logan. So yes, I went to get rid of any evidence of you, me and the others. You are my priority, Maxie. Don't you get that? Figures you would revert back to not trusting me the minute Logan is involved. I don't know why I thought you'd ever change."

Abruptly, Alec released my wrists, got to his feet and left the room. I sat in silence, watching as Krit rose to follow after him. Syl cocked her head and gave me a long stare.

"Living alone must have really screwed you up, Max. Or you'd have known that you could trust your own kind. I can't imagine how Alec feels when you take Logan's side without considering him. I hope you figure things out before you lose him, Maxie. It'd be a damn shame otherwise."

I stared after my sister's retreating back, contemplating her words. _Dammit, Max. What have you done now?_

* * *

ALEC 

Krit caught up to me just outside the command center. He looked at me in confusion, baffled by Max's outburst.

"What's her deal? Logan's selfish and self-righteous. He tried to come between you - you guys _are_ together, right? And long before he tried something as stupid as to break up an X5 couple, he was putting her in danger with all those dumb missions. Why is she so upset at what we did?"

"Maxie's always been anal about her loyalty to Logan. I used to be jealous; now I just look at him as a tiresome pet. She'll never get over him completely, so I let her coddle him. She's with me now. End of story." _End of story indeed,_ I thought. I knew Max was mine. She told me with every look, every touch. The Ordinary would never equate to more than a friend. I had nothing to worry about. _Right. That's why you blew up at her. You're not jealous. Nope. Not at all. Liar._

* * *

ASHA 

I opened Logan's front door and entered quietly. We'd agreed that I would come by before dawn to pick up the fake sector pass and new passport he'd acquired for me.

"Logan?" I called out into the echoing blackness. Nothing. Cautiously making my way through the darkened apartment, my eyes flew around, taking in the destruction of what used to be Logan's living room. The image was like that of a movie scene: drawers pulled from bureaus, clothing and mutilated books everywhere, the remains of burnt computer parts, paper, plastic and other items in a heap on the floor. Whoever had done this was thorough.

After ascertaining that I was alone, I hurried toward the bedroom, where a faint light shone through a crack in the door. Pushing it open and stepping over the mess on the carpet, I looked through the open doorway of the bathroom. Throwing my hand up to cover my mouth, I stifled a gasp as I caught sight of a very naked Logan, unconscious and hanging from the pipes above his tub; his exposed midsection decorated in a garish representation of the Eyes Only symbol. All done with feminine cosmetics.

I took a step back involuntarily as Logan shifted and moaned. I yelped in pain, stumbling to avoid the hard object beneath the arch of my foot. Unable to keep my balance, I fell clumsily. Picking up the object that had landed me on my ass, I saw that it was a tube of lipstick. My other hand grasped and tightened around a small plastic tub of eye shadow. The sparkly, white substance glittered brightly under the glow of the florescent light.

The door to the penthouse burst open and I could hear the steady sound of several pairs of feet filing into the apartment. I closed my eyes as I hear a voice ring out. _Crap. I'm holding...evidence._

"Cover every inch of this house. Shoot anything that moves, but don't shoot to kill. I know this guy and I want answers."

Detective Matt Sung entered the bedroom and swung his gun around, jumping at shadows. The air was full of acrid smoke, the room ransacked with the contents strewn about haphazardly. He looked down at me with narrow slatted eyes, and pointed his gun at my chest.

"Don't move. Whatever you have in your hands, let it go. Slowly. Now, stand up - no sudden moves, hands above your head." He spoke in a commanding tone. Staring at me intently he added finally, "I know you. I've seen your file at headquarters. Who are you?" He tilted his head slightly and pursed his lips. After a moment of silence he sighed. "Never mind that, I'll find out soon enough. What I do want to know is, why have you targeted Eyes Only?"

I looked to Logan's suspended form and back to the detective with a look of shock. _Logan is Eyes Only?_ Suddenly all the clues and hints from the past months clicked in place. Of course Logan was Eyes Only. Only an idiot would have missed it. _Asha, you dimwit. Now you're definitely screwed._

"I - I - you've got it all wrong," I stuttered.

Detective Sung slapped the cuffs on my wrists and stated, "Save it for someone who cares. You're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent..."

I spaced out, lowering my head in defeat. I had no sector pass, no I.D. I was a sitting duck unless someone came looking for me and noticed I was gone. Sending out a mental S.O.S. to my friends, I silently walked after the detective, two men at my back. _Un-fucking-believable. At least whoever was here earlier burned everything. Hopefully they won't find the documents Logan had for me. The last thing I need is hard evidence linking me to Eyes Only._

TBC

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I quick note of thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story. Your words of encouragement mean so much. My apologies for the long delay between chapters. I've been battling writer's block and as much as I wanted to update, I prefered to wait until I could deliver something of substance. Previous attempts were sorely lacking. Thanks for your patience. I hope I haven't disappointed! 


	31. Making Amends

_**A/N:** The NC-17 version of this chapter can be found at NWP under the penname jracklesfan77 (Shana)._

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**Part 31 - Making Amends**

ALEC

It hadn't been but mere minutes since I'd stalked out of the make-shift bar and made my way up to the roof, but it felt like hours. Long enough for me to collect my thoughts and decide on a course of action. My relationship with Max had to change or it would eventually wear me down.

I stared over the rooftops of Terminal City. It wasn't long before a shift in the air announced that I wasn't alone. I felt her presence before she spoke and braced myself for what, I wasn't quite sure. Whatever she had to say though, could wait. It was my turn.

"Alec, I -" she began tentatively.

I wasn't going to take it this time. I'd had enough of being a doormat. Not bothering to face her, I continued staring out over the neglected city below.

"Save it, Max. I finally realized just how pathetic I am. Acting like I don't give a shit that you always take his side without any consideration for my feelings. What I don't get is how, especially after what he tried to do yesterday, you still defended him. Logan has shown you his true colors and if that's the kind of guy you want to be with, fine. But that's not me. I've done some really shitty things, but I'd never manipulate the woman I claim to love. I'm not that twisted. Maybe this - you and I," I paused to take a deep breath, "Maybe it's a mistake."

Max's eyes widened in shock for a second, before she found her voice. "No, Alec. Please..." She took a deep breath. "I wasn't thinking. I-"

"That's just it, Max. You don't think. You act on impulse and damn the consequences! And I'm the one left picking up the pieces when the shit hits the fan." Rubbing a hand along my jaw absentmindedly, I shut my eyes and sighed. "I'm really not in the mood for this right now. I'm going home to bed. If you're there when I wake up, then we'll talk. If not, I'll understand." I turned toward the door that led from the roof back down into the command center when I felt Max grab my arm.

"You are _not_ walking out that door!" she hissed angrily. "Running away from me won't resolve the issue."

Shrugging out of her grip, I looked down my nose at her and gave a dry laugh. "Right. Running away is _your_ area of expertise, isn't it Max?"

She stiffened visibly at the accusation. "That was a low blow, even for you. After everything we've been through, Alec, I can't believe you said that."

Still stinging from the speed and ease with which she had rationalized Logan's behavior earlier, I exhaled sharply, unable to hide the bitterness I felt. "After everything we've been through, I can't believe you defended Logan. I guess that makes us even. Now, like I said, I'm going home."

Frustrated and unrelenting, Max blurred to the door and blocked my exit. "Dammit, Alec! Don't shut me out! We need to talk about this!"

"Like you need to defend Eyes Only? God, Max, you're a fuckin' yo-yo. One minute you love him, the next you don't, but in the end you always go back to Logan. What's so special about him, anyway?" I waited, looking down into her eyes. When no answer was forthcoming, my gaze shifted to the stars and I threw up my hands. "You're so strong, Max, like a one-woman army ready to take on the world. It's one of the things I admire most about you. But when I see how every time _he_ enters the picture you cling to-"

I watched as fury rose from deep within her and her tough-girl front cracked and peeled. Her eyes burned dark fire, flashing angrily, and I halted mid-rant. When she began to speak, I shivered. Her tone was hard, controlled and quiet.

"I may have done in the past, yeah. But this time I. Did. Not. Go. Back. To. Logan. I'm _here_ - with _you_." She stared intently into my eyes for a long moment, her face taut with anger. Her lips were tight as she continued, "I made a mistake, Alec. I've been defending the man for two years, even when there was nothing to defend. I guess it's a hard habit to break."

Snorting, I shrugged her explanation off and dismissed her with a wave of the hand. "Whatever, Max."

Her face burned crimson and fire flickered in her eyes as she grit her teeth. "Do you think it's easy apologizing to you? I don't think I've ever honestly apologized to _anyone._ That should give you _some_ indication that I'm serious."

I tilted my head and studied her. "I'd love to believe it, Max, but you don't exactly have a stellar record when it comes to Logan." When she looked ready to interrupt, I held up a hand.

I considered walking away now; I really didn't want to have this conversation, but I knew that if there was any hope for us - and despite my anger I desperately wanted there to be hope for us - then I had to say it. "Do you have any idea what it does to me, hearing you take his side over mine? Automatically accepting that I'm to blame? I want to be with you, Max, but this routine? I can't do it anymore. I deserve better than this; my feelings aside, it's making me look weak." I let my hand fall and dropped my shoulders. Just telling her this made me exhausted. "Hell, it's making me _feel_ weak!"

Max's temper was still flaring and she spoke in an accusing tone. "You think I like knowing how weak _I've_ been?" Max paused as she registered her own words. She looked startled, and for a moment her eyes darted around as if looking for a way to escape. Then she looked back at me through glistening eyes and visibly swallowed her pride. "You think I like knowing that I wasted the past year on a man just because he was _safe?_ Because that's all it was, Alec. Being with Logan meant I didn't have to analyze my feelings for _you_. If I never admitted to caring, I couldn't get hurt. And if I never loved you, it wouldn't hurt when I lost you!" Her tirade exhausted, Max slumped to the floor dejectedly, pulling her knees up against her chest and burying her face between them.

"I've lost so much. I can't lose you too," she whispered brokenly, words muffled by the confines of her legs. Her body began to quake as she unleashed pent-up tears.

I hesitated, conflicted. I was still mad, but seeing Max vulnerable before me, huddled on the cold surface of the roof, crying openly, tore at my heart. Her whispered affirmation of need wasn't lost on me and I approached quietly, kneeling beside her and crushing her to my chest.

"You won't lose me, Maxie," I crooned reassuringly into her ear, stroking her hair tenderly all the while. "I can't lose you either. Why the hell do you think I get so angry about your relationship with Logan ?" I closed my eyes and decided to swallow my pride too. "I'm jealous, Max. I'm an X5; I'm territorial, possessive, protective. It's in the blood, Maxie. I won't apologize for it and I sure as hell won't change."

Max raised a tear-streaked face and her red-rimmed, doe-eyes locked with mine. Max spoke so softly that I had to strain to catch her words.

"I don't want you to change. I like who you are. I want to be with _you_." She paused. "Old habits die hard. I'm sorry, Alec - I was wrong."

A smile tugged at my lips and blossomed into a full-fledged smirk. "I never thought I'd see the day that Max Guevara would admit she was wrong!"

Smiling despite herself, Max recovered some of her dignity and quipped, "Don't get used to it." Disentangling ourselves from each other, we stood. Max brushed her pants off and folded her arms across her chest. "You said you were going to bed. Want some company?"

Pursing my lips and furrowing my brow in mock-consternation, I growled playfully. "You still have to be punished, you know."

Brushing her lips against my ear, puffs of warm breath fanning my neck, Max purred deep in her throat. Her voice was low and husky. "Ooh, I'm shaking," she teased.

I grinned against her shoulder and whispered, "Not yet, but you will..."

* * *

I don't quite remember how we made it back to Biggs' apartment. I vaguely recall opening the door and stumbling inside, Max wrapped around my waist, her lips attached to my neck, hands everywhere. The inhabitants of the room stared in amusement until I began growling in frustration at their unwelcome presence. 

"Out," I grumbled at Krit, tripping artlessly past the grinning transgenic. Max giggled against my throat, the sensation sending another ripple of pleasure to my groin. I pulled her closer, shifting to fit myself snugly between her thighs. She mewled and nuzzled her nose into the crook of my neck.

Krit's eyebrows rose, his grin widening impossibly as he saw Max draped over me like a second skin, my hands beneath her shirt, hers in my hair, our heavy breathing, restrained moans and barely contained lust. Our eyes met in silent understanding.

"Syl, let's leave these two alone to ...resolve their issues," he suggested teasingly to the pretty blonde at his side as he took her hand and led her from the room.

"Finally," Max whispered, swirling her tongue in my ear, driving me to distraction. Fumbling with the lock and chain before backing her up against the door, I smiled against her shoulder.

"Alone at last I mumbled. Holding her body up against the heavy wooden surface, I attacked her throat with my teeth, nipping at her pulse point.

She arched into me, head thrown back, neck exposed, an invitation to taste the fragrant silkiness of her skin. "Alec..." came the breathy moan from between her lips. Lips that suddenly seemed too enticing to ignore any longer. Inhaling deeply, imprinting her scent in my mind, I pulled back to look at Max.

"How do you do that, Maxie?" Eyes that mirrored my own, darkened with desire, stared back at me, short, rapid breaths causing her chest to rise and fall in time with mine.

"Do what?" she cooed seductively, cocking her head to one side and puckering her lips into an inviting pout, her long lashes fluttering softly against her cheeks.

"Turn me on just by saying my name?" I replied huskily.

Her lips curved slightly upwards and she trailed her fingers up and down my arms, nails lightly scraping my skin. "Is that all it takes?" she teased, grinding her hips against mine.

Staring deeply into her eyes, I shook my head. "Everything about you turns me on, babe. It was hell - wanting you but not having you. Good thing you came to your senses; I was going out of my mind," I confessed quietly, never breaking eye contact.

Her chocolate orbs gleamed and her smile warmed my heart. "Can we save the soul-baring and heartfelt confessions for later? From what I remember, I still need to be punished. I was very, very, bad," she purred in my ear. I couldn't contain my laughter.

"Vixen," I growled playfully. "Bad can be very, very good..." Cupping her ass and drawing her tighter against me, I pulled her legs more firmly around my waist. Turning away from the wall, I walked us into the bedroom and tossed Max onto the bed. She slithered back against the headboard, crooking her finger at me and giving me her sexiest come-hither look. I licked my lips.

_Oh, yes. Bad can be very, very good indeed._

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There's something to be said about make-up sex. I'd never engaged in it before, but if the results were the same - or better - each time, I'd gladly argue with Max again. I'd made her beg her forgiveness, forgiveness I had happily given even before we made it to the bedroom. But she hadn't needed to know that at the time. 

I propped my head up on one palm and with the fingers of my free hand, traced idle circles on her belly. Max sighed in her sleep, snuggling closer to my chest. I nuzzled her hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance of cherries that clung to her silky locks and closed my eyes in remembrance.

* * *

_She crawled toward him on the all fours, tongue flicking out to wet full, soft lips, eyes dark with lust. He put a hand to her breast, stilling her movements._

_"Nuh, uh, uh. I call the shots," he chided, the words rumbling from deep in his throat, voice thick with desire._

_Sulking and whimpering her displeasure, she sat up on her knees. He grinned, twisting her arm behind her back and pressing his chest against hers. "Sorry, Maxie, but you're in no position to complain. We're going to do things my way," he stated gruffly, growing increasingly aroused as he felt her body respond to his._

_He released her arm, pressing gentle kisses along her jaw line and down her shoulder. "Lay back," he instructed. "Spread your legs; just like that, babe."_

_As Max languidly slid her thighs apart, she teased them both by running her hands over her stomach and up around her breasts, slowly and sensually massaging the supple flesh, nipples already hard with anticipation of things to come._

_His breath came in shallow puffs, hazel eyes dark with passion gazing from beneath hooded lashes at his lover. Her hair spread in a curtain of silk on the pillow, face flushing as he trailed expert fingers up her inner thigh, torturing her slowly as he touched her, everywhere but where she needed him. He watched in primal satisfaction as she writhed beneath his nimble fingers and heated gaze._

_Repositioning himself on the bed, Alec dragged his body over hers, his hot aching flesh poised above ruby lips, while his own hovered over her heated center. Alec dragged his wet tongue across her opening and gasped involuntarily as she started at the contact, her mouth opening in surprise around him, then closing when she realized his intent._

_"Fuck, yeah," he hissed. "Maaaax..."_

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A muffled giggle jolted me from pleasant memories and my lids snapped open to find Max's bright, laughing brown eyes on mine, sensuous mouth smirking in amusement. 

"Thinking of me, pretty boy?" I flushed, following her eyes as they raked lazily over my sheet-covered body, finally resting on the material draped over my lower region. "Someone looks happy to see me," she purred, snaking a hand beneath the sheet and gently wrapping around my length.

"I take it this is payback?" I moaned in appreciation, focusing on the devastating, devilish pleasure her fingers wrought on my sensitive skin.

"Mmm hmmm," came the muffled reply from the end of the bed. I reveled in the wet heat of her mouth, the humming vibrations that shot flames through my veins, making me all too responsive and willing to endure such sweet torture. _God, don't stop._..

Insistent, shrill ringing broke through the pleasant haze Max had created. I felt her shift and I groaned as she crawled out from between my legs, leaving me stiff and trembling with need, only to grab the phone off the bedside table. One look at my pained features and she burst out laughing.

"I couldn't have planned it better myself," she teased, wiggling her eyebrows before darting laughing eyes to my crotch.

"Bitch," I muttered, taking the phone in hand and flipping it open. "You got Alec. Better be major," I snapped, trying to ease my distress enough to conduct a neutral tone.

"Is this Alec McDowell?" an uncertain and distinctly male voice inquired timidly.

"Yeah. Who are you and how did you get this number?" I asked curtly, wondering at the stranger who had access to my cell and my name. I didn't share this number with just anyone.

He quickly identified himself. "Name's Toby. I'm a friend of Asha Barlow's. Your number was in her address book under 'emergencies'." He paused, taking a shaky breath. He sounded distraught. "I don't know if you can help, but Asha's in trouble. She's been arrested."

Furrowing my brows in confusion, I hesitated a moment to process the information. _Asha. _"On what charges?"

"They're holding her on suspicion of inflicting bodily harm and damaging property. Something to do with Eyes Only," Toby rambled on quickly.

Momentarily distracted by loud voices, I turned my head to the television that had sprung to life. A newscaster was reporting the recent arrest of Eyes Only and an unidentified female counterpart. The camera captured a distressed looking Asha before she was shoved none-too-gently into a squad car. Max's mouth dropped open in surprise at the image of a very naked Logan, private parts blurred for live broadcast, being led into an armored police van.

"Shit," we exclaimed simultaneously. Max looked at me questioningly. I raised a finger, indicating that I would explain shortly and returned to my conversation.

"Where's she being held?" I asked, eyes still glued to the television. I listened intently as the other man gave me the location and I assured him I would do anything I could to help. After disengaging the call, I turned to Max, eager to understand something.

"I thought that Asha only pretended to take down my number. It wasn't in her book last time we checked."

"I know. But it _is _in there. Asha asked me for it not long after Brain died." Max's eyes clouded over and I knew she was remembering the boy who'd given his life to save hers. But then she smiled, the expression lightening the shadows blanketing her features. "But with an ego as big as yours you probably wouldn't find it now either. That day you looked under 'A', for Alec."

Not liking the teasing tone of her voice, I frowned. "It's my name, isn't it?"

Max laughed. "Your first name, yes. But Asha has it listed under 'M' - for McDowell. And as an emergency contact number right under Logan's and mine." Pausing, she looked thoughtful, until a scowl replaced her sunny smile. "I still don't understand why she needed your number anyway," she continued slowly, displeasure evident in her tone.

"What, Max? You figure Asha having Logan's number, and yours, should have been enough? How perfectly selfish of you," I chided teasingly. Her scowl deepened and I couldn't suppress a smirk.

I baited her. "Or could it be that you're jealous?" It pleased me to see her eyes blaze and her cheeks flame, confirming what I already knew and filling me with indescribable happiness.

She caught me off-guard as her fist connected with my shoulder and I winced. But my smile returned when I heard her mutter under her breath before wrapping the top-sheet around her nude form and stalking off into the bathroom.

"I'm an X5, too. Comes with the territory, you ass."

TBC


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